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How to finish the "natural" way

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Mark6776, Nov 9, 2017.

  1. Nov 9, 2017 #1
    Mark6776

    Mark6776 Fapstronaut

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    Hi all,

    My name's Mark, and I'm a 19 yr old college freshman and had some questions about sensitivity during sex. I was previously addicted to PMO, but progressively worked alongside my partner to be able to cut porn out of my life; having resolved many of my PIED dysfunctions I was experiencing earlier.

    However, what I struggle with now (and sometimes has led to a small period of binging) has been the incapacity to finish in a "natural" way with my partner. Only once have I orgasmed through vaginal sex exceeding 30 minutes, and more often then not I usually finish myself off with some oral at the end, although it doesn't really contribute to my orgasm.

    When I do orgasm through my own means, it reminds me and often brings me back to the days of porn, and the twisted associated fetishes. I also did masturbate with the "death grip" for more or less years (from the age of 10 when I discovered pornography). Given all of this, my question is how can I increase my sensitivity (if possible) to be able to a) give my partner the ability to make me orgasm (she isn't at fault, reoccuring issue w/ multiple partners), and b) how to basically reduce my stamina to keep sessions of sex below 45 minutes?

    Thanks :)
     
    Mark6776, Nov 9, 2017
    Mark6776, Nov 9, 2017
    #1
    EddyFriend likes this.
  2. Nov 9, 2017 #2
    BPat

    BPat Fapstronaut

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    How long have you been PMO free? I am trying to be PM free, and only O with my girlfriend. I was beginning to find it really hard to O with her vaginally as well due to the PM I was engaging in frequently. So I just find the longer I abstain from PM the hornier I get for her which means when we have sex it's more passionate and I cum quicker.

    I don't think there's really anything you can do to make your penis more sensitive. If you're using condoms I guess try find a thin brand like Zero or Naked so hopefully you can feel more. But other than that I would say you just need to abstain from PMO longer so that your brain and willy forget about the death grip you used for all those years.
     
    BPat, Nov 9, 2017
    BPat, Nov 9, 2017
    #2
    EddyFriend likes this.
  3. Nov 9, 2017 #3
    Mark6776

    Mark6776 Fapstronaut

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    Longest of strict no PMO has been 1-2 months, although whenever there is a binge, it's for a day or two on a biweekly basis.

    Also, I find that the more frequently I have sex, the more M I need to finish myself off w/ my gf. Could this be solved via longer time gaps between sex?
     
    Mark6776, Nov 9, 2017
    Mark6776, Nov 9, 2017
    #3
    EddyFriend likes this.
  4. Nov 9, 2017 #4
    BPat

    BPat Fapstronaut

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    Do you find yourself kind of stressing/worrying when you can't cum with her naturally? Cos when it happens to me I find that as soon as I start thinking "Oh shit I don't know if I'm going to be able to cum" then it just makes it heaps worse and I really have to concentrate to make it happen. Or a couple of time's I haven't been able to cum and it makes my gf feel like shit that I haven't been able to cum with her. So maybe if you do stress/worry you might benefit from help from a therapist to help you deal with that kind of thinking. I've not seen one but I definitely have considered it.

    For me, longer gaps definitely seems to help. And also, I only initiate sex when I really feel naturally horny for it. So I guess maybe don't have sex just as part of a routine or if you always have sex on a certain day/time, only do it if you're with her and you're really genuinely and naturally feeling like it. Sometimes I initiated sex when I didn't really feel like it, because I felt that I owed it to her. But then it just all turned to shit because I wasn't that into it and I couldn't cum haha.
     
    BPat, Nov 9, 2017
    BPat, Nov 9, 2017
    #4
    EddyFriend likes this.
  5. Nov 14, 2017 #5
    Single Palm Change

    Single Palm Change Fapstronaut

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    Seems more like a blessing than a curse to me. Most men have problems lasting for even 5 minutes without cumming.

    Anyway, two ways to handle this as I can see it
    1) Do a complete reboot. 90-120 days
    2) Stop giving so much importance to orgasming. Don't finish yourself off after. Don't P binge every week either just to come. Just forget about that orgasm and find the pleasure in the act of loving
     
    Single Palm Change, Nov 14, 2017
    Single Palm Change, Nov 14, 2017
    #5
    looklike4 and DIYAS1 like this.

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