How to break this Habit!?

I understand in a habit there is a cue--> Routine --> Reward and Repeat <---


This week I relapsed a couple of times even tho I gave up Instagram from my life Here is why I think I relapsed.

1. I sit on the couch in the living room and stay up mean while everyone goes to bed and no one is around
2. I would then just browse for hours YouTube mindlessly until I come across something sexual like a movie scene or something else I would maybe type something like: girls twerking or fat a$$.
3. Next I would then Just say "screw it!" and search pornhub and scan thru for a couple of minutes until I find something interesting. Then turn off my phone
4. Next I would go to the bathroom and jack off....

So is my cue would be sitting on the couch with my phone in my hand and nobody around or something sexual on YouTube?

Routine would be going to pornhub?

Reward would be dopamine rush after jacking off?

so instead of having my phone on me at night on the couch should I swap it with journal instead?
I don't know I'm lost ….

 

Hey, great job on recognizing this and knowing how a habit works. Have you read Habits by Charles Duehig? That's a great book. You might want to check out Atomic Habits, thats like a second part by another author.

I've a similar habit and circumstances but I don't go to full on porn or if I did I'd recognize what Im doing and stop.

The que is being on the couch. That moment, on that couch, by yourself, with the same sounds, smells, time.. all your senses go into creating that que. The routine is youtube and then porn hub. The reward is dopamine but that starts back in youtube, that's when the first hit hits you and you start to feel good. It escalates up to a full on blast of reward with your release. It's a very addicting thing.

To break this you need to change up a few things. You're doing great by recognizing it all though. There's many things you could do. You could not sit on your couch, you could go to bed, you could put a porn blocker on your phone, etc etc. There's alot you could do but becareful because if you don't change enough you'll fall into the same routine.

Say you decided to sit in the recliner instead and look at you tube. YOu'll end up in the same place.

Journaling is excellent. You could journal and write out your list of reasons why you don't want to look at porn. You could browse this site and read a bunch thread and post more messages. I have a great habit of coming here when I"m triggered. Read some stories of people struggling and you'll change your perspective.

You may want to change your seating as well though you might just want to sit in the same seat so that you can reprogram yourself to good things while in that seat.

Another thing would be to act this out ahead of time. Pretend that you are in that exact same circumstance, actually sit on the couch and open up your phone and think about how you feel right before you're going to go to youtube. think about it so much that you start to hfeel it inside. In that exact moment, jump up and scream NO YOU SOB!!! NOT THIS TIME!!!!

Do that enough times, like practice it a few times a day and you should get to the point where if you find youself in that same place with your phone on the couch, you'll remember jumping up an screaming and maybe even want to do it. But it should get you out of your head enough to not follow thru.

Write that list of reasons, keep re-writing it over and over again. Keep it with you at all times. Remember that you're changing your life here, not just for X day but forever. You want pmo out of your life forever. For yoursake and your family sake. Image what your wife would say if she came down right when you were right in the middle of it. How would that turn out?

Think about the emotional turmoil she'd go thru.

Good luck