How to be happy

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Erick Pastora, Apr 7, 2018.

  1. Erick Pastora

    Erick Pastora Fapstronaut

    125
    254
    63
    I'm going to be honest with you, I'm not happy. If there's something that a lot of media has tried to teach us is that you can be happy with nothing and you can be unhappy with everything. My definition of happiness may be different from yours, so any comments are welcome.

    To me happiness is not (or not only) joy, because those concepts are often confused. Joy is the feeling you have when you're feeling fine, not angry, not sad, not frustrated, and happiness is more of a way of living. Happiness is being able to pick yourself up, being someone who's ok with his feelings, with himself, who doesn't want to be anybody else, who knows that when death comes knocking by, he or she is feeling inner peace because joy has been a part of his life.

    These are a couple of useful tips for you to start being happy today. First, and I know this is a cliche, think of today as your last day on earth. If tomorrow you're not going to exist anymore, what would you do? Because you could actually die tomorrow and if you know that, you're not going to procrastinate happiness and start to live to day.

    Now the next question in mind is "ok, I could die tomorrow, what should I do?".
    To answer that, ask yourself this: what makes you happy? what do you want do? how do you want to live? how do you want to be? Meditation can actually be great for you to come up with this answers. You can do a written list or do it in your head, but get your objectives straight, then ask yourself this: have I achieved this? and in most cases the answer is going to be no, so ask this next question: what's stopping me? once you identify that this is the most important question: what am I going to do about it?

    That whole thinking is the simple step, the hard one is to start acting. Taking action to get what you want is very hard, no matter how much positive your attitude may be, whenever things don't go your way you just can't feel fine, and pretending it doesn't hurt is not accepting your feelings, lying to yourself, not being real and most important not being happy.

    Ok, but if you could die tomorrow how are you going to reach your goals? The reality is you can't reach your goals in a day and that's one mindset that can get you happiness, because what you need to understand in order to have happiness in your life is that the goal isn't what makes you happy, but the way towards it. Happiness isn't in the finish line, but along the way.

    And now you'll ask yourself that, as I stated in the beginning, if I'm not happy how do I know all this? Because all this is theory and I've come to understand it by hearing other people's advice and meditating about life, but I haven't done the second step, which is doing something about it and I'm sick of not being happy and I know most of you are too. I don't have the secret of life because I don't believe there's one, but from this very moment this is going to be my way of living, I'm going to ask myself these questions every day and this is one question that I didn't mention before and you should ask yourself this everyday on everything you do: is this taking me further?

    Hope you guys start being happy today :)
     
    wtbootb, asbgca and moonesque like this.
  2. Turcu Laurentiu

    Turcu Laurentiu Fapstronaut

    51
    33
    18
    There is more than happiness in life, like responsibility, as Dr. Jordan B. Peterson says. If you would've been ok with yourself, why on earth would you want to become better, to improve yourself?
     
    Reborn16 likes this.
  3. TheLoneWoolf

    TheLoneWoolf Fapstronaut

    Great question buddy, I had the same problem... I know I had to do what I love to be happy. But, What do I love? I used to get stuck in this question...
    I asked myself.. So what you are going to do? Just sit there lost in your thoughts? Is that gonna solve your problem.? No,Definitely not.
    So, I tried this myself.. I began noting what other people loved to do. Not just one people , I observed a lot of people ( In fact, nowadays, I love observing people). I tried to do things that made them happy . Not just once. and I wrote down what I felt each time.. ( It's a good way to observe yourself).. Spent some time on this. Better something than nothing,right?
    Explore. As much as you can.
    Life is not about finding yourself.Life is about creating yourself.
     
    ControlledMind likes this.
  4. Hatfuge

    Hatfuge Fapstronaut

    I think we always can improve something in our life to make it a little better.

    I could always create a more functional body for myself through better exercise programs, eating a little healthier, I could meditate more consistently, and I can improve my income skills to create a more comfortable environment where I eat and sleep.

    But my general mood it pretty positive and happy.

    I think it's important, at least for me, to have something to strive for each day, a goal to work towards. If I don't do something to get to my goals every day I kind of feel stuck, but I guess that's because I am not 100% content with where I am in my life right now.

    But yes I agree that there are more to life than hapiness, even if you love what you do I don't think you can ever get to a point where you love every aspect of it even if 80% of it is good :)
     
    Reborn16 likes this.
  5. Erick Pastora

    Erick Pastora Fapstronaut

    125
    254
    63
    Elaborate, please
     
  6. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

    661
    788
    93
    Happiness is not something we should aim to be in most of the time, like being above water. Concentrating too much on the feeling of happiness often brings us towards activities that provide short term fulfilment without the long term gain.

    Instead, we can choose to focus on what we value, and what our goals are.

    We get fulfillment and a sense of purpose form solving problems that are specific to our goals & values.

    Some days we will feel lonely, or frustrated, these are not failures - just being human.

    I encourage you to read a book "The Happiness Trap" for a well written model of how to approach every-day life.
     
  7. Erick Pastora

    Erick Pastora Fapstronaut

    125
    254
    63
    You're practically saying the same thing I said, which is don't aim for the feeling, aim for the way of living. I get your point that you should look into the future, in fact I encourage it, but the goal or achievement isn't where you get fulfilled. You have to get fulfilled in your every action of every day. Happiness or fulfillment or however you want to call it isn't something you reach when you sleep with the supermodel, or when you make a fortune, or when you get a supercar or a superhouse. It is something you live day by day, without the situation being the best, you can make the best out of it.
     
    Reborn16 likes this.
  8. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

    661
    788
    93
    Ah yes we're on the same page. :) I did read your comment but I read the title as a question rather than a statement, my bad.
     
  9. Turcu Laurentiu

    Turcu Laurentiu Fapstronaut

    51
    33
    18
    I recommend you to read 12 Rules for Life - An antidote to chaos by Dr. Jordan B. Peterson. He goes deeper in the subject, and he can elaborate way better than I can. He even has his university lectures on youtube.
     

Share This Page