How to ask what she wants?

True, again!

Thanks for pointing it out to me. I also did consider to send her a text a text where I asked if she could just hang out for a little talk. But I guess phone is best at things like that. I guess I am just scared how she will react if I suddenly call - since we have only been texting after last time we did hang out - which is starting to be a long time ago now. And when we actually did hang out, we did not really call then too.
Maybe I am scared of the answer too in the end.
-But at least I will be able to get a clear answer then.

Already (failed) on not sending a snap tho. Was not really a reply. Just sent her a casual snap of a tv-series I am watching (which we both did watch.. he-he....)...
Damn....I feel like a mess now. I do know what I need to do... but I am scared I guess... that I may get reasons that I don't even want to know.... and I am scared of her reaction if I call since we never really did call.. just texting ...

Would in one way already think that she knows how I feel, since I have already asked her a few times now to hang out. Should not that be clear enough sign that I am not playing games with her?

And since I asked yesterday... how long should I wait if I make the phone call? (Or is texting her the same thing okey...?)--- Guess I need to grow up ... Reason why I distance myself after asking her to hang out is because I don't want to come of desperat or ask to often... (maybe those ships have sailed already lol)

My mind is everywhere rigth now..

 

Thanks for all support @elevate ! I am sorry that I have wasted so much of your time and energy, when I know you were correct from the start.
There is a lot of people I should say sorry to for wasting time for me struggeling to move on. Thanks to all of you for trying to help.

I guess I am in many ways a "gambling addict" when it comes to her. "Win small texts, double it and I lose big energy and time".

I know whats needs to be done. I just really struggle to let go (stop playin games [with]) of someone I really belived in :\ I tell myself and write that I am moving on, then it goes 1-7 days and I am back in the addiction. I just can't get her and the time I spent with her out of my mind. But I need to, all I do is playing useless games for both and wasting time and destroying myself.

I guess I need to tell her just to end the games. Tell her how I feel and I don't want to play games anymore. I think she will understand and hopefully stop if shes not interested.

 

Thanks for all support!

Some of you may know that I did consider to text or call her to tell her how I feel. Now it does not look like I will do so. I think I will just move on.
I did say that I wanted to stay friends with her if she did not want more after texting her that. But as some of you may have pointed out to me - do I really "just want to be friends" or is that just a way for me to give myself an other chance to become her boyfriend? And that is correct. But I can't change someones mind. I have to accept what they want and not want.

Me trying to be just friends with her may also just hurt me even more in the long run. I may be a friend for months hoping she will change her mind, but in the end she will never do it maybe. Therefor it will most likely be better to find an other girl.

For the past week she have sent me pictures on snapchat where she hangout with her friends, walk alone on a hike, watching a movie with her best friend, are at work, etc. And still she would always be busy when I asked her to hangout.

You were all correct from the start, but I did not want to listen. Because as some of you have said, I am so attached to a specific outcome with that specific person that I won't let myself move on.

If she sends me more snapchat texts now, I will just open them and not respond. If I by any chance are not able to stay away, I will just tell her how it is. It may be awful then, but it will be easier to move on.

I can't keep beating myself up. I can always play games with my mind where I tell myself "what if" what then" etc. But this have been going on too long now.

I know how she respond when shes interested, and now she is not giving me that respons anymore.

This all fucking hurt. I hate writing this, fucking hurts. I still want to belive things can change between me and her, but I can always belive that. But I guess the faster I let go from now, the faster things will get better. I thougth I had found my first real love. But I guess I have a lot to learn when it comes to what real love is.
Again, thanks for all support! I hope I did not waste too much of your time.

 

Thanks.

Yeah, I was at a party got a bit too drunk and a bit sad because everything that have been going on, so I relapsed :\ But at least I have not started a fap streak after that one time.

I guess I just have to learn, stay strong and focus on improving!

I really love this forum, people are so supportive and helpful - even tho I am slow on accepting the reality but in the end I get other views.
There will come other girls that I can have a lot better time with!

But at least letting it hurt a bit now while moving on, I am at least not delaying the hurt feelings anymore.

 

Thanks for all the support!

I don't really understand what she wants from me either. After I started to understand she was not that interested anymore I tried to distance myself more and more. First it took only three days until she came back, then five days, then one week.

Because of that I was kind of hoping she did regret moving away or maybe needed a bit of distance, but I guess I was wrong... So I have no idea why she did so to me. Because when I did know her, she seemd to be very caring and kind. Like a person that never would want to hurt someone... maybe she just text/snap to me without actually giving too much thougth what she is actually doing to me(?).

I am 21 and have a lot to learn regarding relationship I guess. Never been in one so I guess I don't really know what it should be like. I never been in one because I wanted to be careful of who I picked to date... I guess I failed... I just felt me and her were pretty much equal experienced when it came to relationships. I felt we learnt together, which I thougth was perfect. And we had a lot in common

I don't even understand why I miss her this much, it is not like we were together that long.. maybe two-three months.... and I am still feeling pretty broken.... so fucking dumb... to get attached so easly...

Regarding moving into the next I will have to wait, even tho I feel like I will need to.. it would help forget her... but I will be moving in two-three months... so the timing is terrible to start a new relationship :\
(Hope I don't come of as someone that brag, but there is actually a lot people to ask why I dont have a girlfriend... and it is actually a lot of people that hit on me... but I don't want just to hook up.. I want something real... but I never find it... I dont know what I do wrong...