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HOW MY LIFE CHANGED DRASTICALLY FROM PORN ADDICT TO THE MAN I WANT TO BE IN THE COURSE OF 3 YEARS

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Vincent Awareness 2 Porn, Sep 6, 2016.

  1. This is my story.


    Hello my name is Vincent,

    That is me on a volcanic hike in Iceland.

    I live in Belgium.

    I am greatly intrigued by personal development and lifestyle.

    Other than the life that society has decided is possible for us, I deeply believe that each and everyone one of us has the power to create his or her dream life and become the person they want to be.

    This conviction was set to me because I accidently stumbled upon its proof. It is August 2014. I feel death inside. A never ending feeling of emptiness fills my belly. I smile so rarely that I have become uncomfortable when I do so. I fill the void with porn, video games and never-ending TV series. I never had a real girlfriend and I am unable to connect with the people around me. Because of fear of not being accepted as I am, I hide behind a false persona, a mysterious cool handsome guy that all girls love. I seek friends- and relationships online. I click on every advertiser who promises me that in 1 week I will never be single again. I feel like a leaf in the wind. I can’t seem to get close to anyone because on a deeper level of intuition they all know that I am not real and I am not showing them who I really am. Why would I change? Online, I can be the alpha male of mating season. I can be a pirate on the seven seas or a cowboy seeking redemption for his outlaw past. I have dropped all hobbies that I was once passionate about. The relationship with my parents is very distant. I hate to spend time with them.

    I keep wishing for a better life. But I continue to seek quick ways to solve my problems. But god praise, I get a mind shift. A simple article hits me like a hammer on the head… “How could I have been so blind? WHAT THE F*CK AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?!”

    In the following months, I start giving awareness to the way I live my life. I find out that I am addicted to porn and anything else that is easy to get by and gives great rewarding feelings for very few input. Like unhealthy eating, video games and movies. Never have I thought of giving up. I was determined that my life in 6 months will look better than it was today. I knew if I would keep going that I would triumph.

    In that process, I failed so many times, and I always turned back to my comfort zone of instant gratification. I felt nothing was really happening. I felt shit and had major downs. I found out that my addiction to porn was greater than I thought. That period of my life was rock hard and scary. I gained so much confidence and self-discipline.

    Every time I would turn back to porn or gaming I started to become aware of why I went back. I gained insights and started to take it very seriously. But as much as I sacrificed, everything wasn’t enough. I remember uncountable sleepless nights where I would twist and turn out of horniness. my whole body wanted to turn up that smartphone…

    It is middle May, I am at a poker evening with my friends. One of them says that he is going to invite a girl from his neighbourhood. I have seen her, she is amazingly beautiful. My heart starts racing. After some chatting with the guys, I walk into the kitchen and I put my hands on the table and bend over. I take deep breaths multiple times. My face changes from anxiety to calmness. I will be strong and myself tonight.

    She arrives. She is an exchange student from Turkey, we chat a little. I feel grounded, though my heart is relaxing I feel the anxiety in my belly. She doesn’t understand the game so I draw closer and whisper in her ears how the game works. Her smell is amazing, At the end of the evening, I ask if she likes sports? She answers “yes”. I asked her to go swim together at the local pool. She accepts with a lot of excitement.

    2 weeks later that girl became my girlfriend. We created an amazing story. We had a distant relationship for 1 year. Hell, in 2015 I went on a cultural exchange to Turkey to be with her for one year. I was crazy about that girl. Though in the 6th month of my cultural exchange year, we decide to break up. I was unable to express my anger and negative emotions towards her so breaking trust and crumbling down our relationship further. Again I had shift moment where I finally gave awareness that we couldn’t go on like this anymore and that I was clamping onto something that wasn’t there. That was really freeing and empowering. We had an amazing breakup experience, we talked more deeply and open then never before. We cried a lot, we healed so much and I want to thank her for her beauty and openness and all the amazing memories we created together.

    From the first day that I met her until this very day I never watched porn or played any video games.

    In the course of 2 years, I’ve changed my life drastically. Day by day I am able to maintain a healthy lifestyle, growing every day. My favorite quote is “Doing the right thing at the moment you know it’s the right thing to do.” No more online life for me. I am seen and feel as a present man. I am able to connect with girls and I am able to share my authentic truth. I have great authentic male role models around me. My relationship with my family has never been better. I can see my father’s eyes sparkle when I decide to sail with him or when I share something vulnerable with him. I take crazy adventures, small and big. I have found my purpose and I am living it. Ahh, I sometimes can’t believe how much I love myself and my life these days. I am so happy that I can finally connect and share laughs with the people who I surround myself with. I am able to do so by being myself 100% and by being vulnerable yet strong.

    A lot of people discuss how good or bad something is. Putting a label on it, or discussing the variety of theories. Instead of withdrawing from the dark room, locking the door and putting a label and judgement upon it, why don’t we shine some light into that dark room and find out what is in it and why it is there. If we are able to grow aware of our lives and the way we are living it, we become able to change our entire lives forever.

    You have the power to create your dream life and become the person who you want to be.

    Why wouldn’t that be possible for you?

    Now I am helping men who are struggling with a porn addiction by sharing my story and coaching them personally one on one. comforting and challenging them holding them accountable and sharing my experience with them.

    I want to help men become addiction free grounded stronger so they can have more love, purpose and freedom in their lives.

    Any questions are welcome I will be answering all of them personally.

    Speak you soon,
    Vincent
     
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2016
  2. K.C_Cage

    K.C_Cage Fapstronaut

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    Absolutely amazing story. Thank you for sharing.
     
    Bryaan likes this.
  3. Jman123

    Jman123 Fapstronaut

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    Terrific, you made. I'll see you up there..at the top of the mountain. On day 2.
     
    Bryaan likes this.
  4. Andyst343

    Andyst343 Fapstronaut

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    Great story thanks for sharing. Inspires me , I want that change so much. All best
     
    Klenton, Bryaan and Jodo Kus like this.
  5. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    Nice, it makes me realise how much porn damages us
     
    SwedishViking and Bryaan like this.
  6. Amazing post my dude, thank you for sharing. I'm also guilty of once wanting to and kind of becoming "internet famous", one of the many reasons why I deactivated my Twitter and IG. I wasn't my authentic self on social media, I tried way too hard to be funny and would post things or tweet things I would never say in real life.

    I'm sorry things ended with you and the girl, I'm sure you'll find someone else. And I'll check out your project in the website, sounds interesting.
     
    Bryaan and noFapToTheFuture like this.
  7. Proficiat!
    Blij dat je zo'n ommekeer in je leven hebt kunnen maken. Blijf zo verder doen!
     
    Bryaan, EthanH and Awakeatlast like this.
  8. vibemaker

    vibemaker Fapstronaut

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    Wow, you sound really in the moment. Thanks for sharing, dude! Wish you a great journey..
     
    Bryaan and Awakeatlast like this.
  9. Blij dat je het hebt vertaald. Vind je Nederlands geen mooie taal? ;)
     
    Bryaan and Awakeatlast like this.
  10. IR254

    IR254 Fapstronaut

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    I can relate to your story very well. I'm kinda in the same position as you were, when you started this journey. Your story motivates me to keep going, even when I feel like giving up. Looking forward to the future! Thank you so much for sharing!
     
    Bryaan and Awakeatlast like this.
  11. droolpillow

    droolpillow Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the great post. Very motivating... I can relate.
     
  12. Thank you all, it gives me great feelings that it has touched you in this way.

    Three power question:
    - What is holding me back from succeeding in Nofap?
    - How am I responsible for that?
    - How am I going to overcome this?

    Write it down for maximal result, feel free to share right here.

    Keep going, you can do it.

    "What one man can do, any man can do"
    - Unkown
     
    Last edited: Sep 8, 2016
    Mixtec, Randomfhji, Rhys0 and 3 others like this.
  13. vibemaker

    vibemaker Fapstronaut

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    There was this one thing, which made me feel uncomfortable with myself (stupid ego thing) + to much fantasizing, which led to a relapse last time (27 days ago). I was already seeing so much positive results, but my inner demon of self-destrucion and overweighting the "negative" drove me into the fog. Sometimes i want ALL just right now, and i have to realize this isn't the way it works. It's day after day. Being happy with what i already gained and face reality and go on in the journey and not escape into a fantasy world which seems to be sweet juice, but then stabs me from behind and lets me fall deep.
     
    Rhys0, Bryaan and GeoffUK like this.
  14. Lone_Wolf

    Lone_Wolf Fapstronaut

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    I guess that's three questions, but I'll attempt to respond.

    What is holding me back from succeeding in NoFap? I don't think anything is holding me back. If my desire to stop PMO exceeds my desire to PMO, then I'll succeed. It's the sense of futility and emptiness in life that needs to be addressed in my life in order for me to kick the familiar and comfortable high I get from engaging in PMO.

    How am I responsible for that? I'm not responsible for the forces that shaped me as a man.

    How am I going to overcome this? I'll never overcome the tendency until the emptiness and futility are addressed.

    I'm not super hopeful for any dramatic change in my life. I'm 45 years old and have no spouse/gf or children. I know most people would look at that and think I must be some incredibly ugly or overweight man or be some kind of psychopath, but none of those are true. Life forces, being what they are, made me into what I am today. Alone and unable to relate to most people. What can rectify this? I really don't know.
     
    Bryaan, Jodo Kus and Getter Better like this.
  15. kenmonkey123

    kenmonkey123 Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, I think you are looking at this from the wrong perspective. You'll never overcome the tendency until the emptiness and futility are addressed? Maybe its the reverse of that which are creating those feelings? I know for myself whenever I abstain from porn for any good length of time I don't feel as empty or futile in this life. I think this is especially true when I replace porn and masturbating with things that I enjoy and give me dopamine release like exercise or playing my guitar. Switch the porn watching and masturbating with things that still give you a dopamine release. I really hope that you will succeed, the reason for the forums is so that we can all have a place to journey through this together. You may think you're too old to quit the habit or something but that's not true. I may be only 26 but I have gained mastery over porn and masturbation before for 4 months. Before I relapsed hard I felt the best I have ever felt. I didn't feel nearly as anxious and lonely as I did before. I promise you you will see positive benefits from abstaining from this and more than likely you will face hard times in the beginning but if you continue looking at the light at the end of the tunnel, you'll get there.
    Fight the good fight my fellow fapstronaut
     
  16. Hey Lone Wolf, I just want note that although you have life forces which we can't change, we have the power to change and that comes from taking responsibility. We have the power to change and turn around our life forces through daily practice so our life forces point toward a more positive destination.
     
    Bryaan likes this.
  17. Be more concrete, what made you fantasize so much? How did you aid in doing so? What can you do to overcome it in the future? Maybe take 5 deep breaths when you catch yourself doing so and go on with the day.
     
    Rhys0 and Deleted Account like this.
  18. Jilloy

    Jilloy Guest


    Amazing story Bro. I am sure to many here it´s a beacon of light.
    I would like to know how old you are now and when you became aware of your problem. Also did things change for you academically/in the job?
     
    AdamantiteMind likes this.
  19. Lone_Wolf

    Lone_Wolf Fapstronaut

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    Geez, I've never heard that one before...
     
    Jilloy likes this.
  20. Jilloy

    Jilloy Guest

    Oh, actually many religions tell stuff like that.
     
    AdamantiteMind and RealLifeGamer like this.

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