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How me stopping PMO has helped my family.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by MovingFoward86, Jan 27, 2018.

  1. MovingFoward86

    MovingFoward86 Fapstronaut

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    Hello fellow Fapstronauts,

    I just thought I would share a little bit about my experience with my PMO reboot. It has been 18 days since I decided to change my life. I am 31 years old, I am married and I have known my wife for 12 years although we have been married for 6 years. We have 3 children together and are expecting our 4th. Just over two weeks ago my wife caught me masturbating to porn. This was certainly not the first time but what made this time different is that I had begged her to stay with me the last time she caught me. I looked her in the eyes and promised I would quit porn altogether. I also swore up and down that I did not have an addiction and the pornography was simply a way to help me "get there faster." These of course turned out to be lies, whether I knew it at the time or not. It was August when she caught me and shortly after that we got pregnant. She had been struggling with me looking at porn for years and before she got pregnant again I believe she was seriously considering leaving me.

    Here we are now. She actually went out of her way to catch me looking at porn this time around. She said she was going to take a shower and about 5 minutes later stormed out of the bathroom. Needless to say I was caught red handed. That same night I found NoFap and was able to admit to my self and my wife that I have a problem. I actually had no idea just how much masturbation was affecting my life and now no there is no way I would be able to quit porn with out also putting a stop to masturbation. I was able to convince my wife to give me on last chance. She told me I have until the baby is born and we will have a talk about how she feels I am doing. Needless to say I am taking this time around very seriously. I have since noticed many changes in myself. I feel more motivated, have a clear head, able to focus and am just all around happier. I am amazed I have noticed these changes in the first 18 days but more amazing than that are the changes with my family.

    My children are my treasures. I love them and the thought of not being able to see them everyday just kills me. For about two years now my wife has been telling me how I just seem angry all the time. I never really though anything of it until she told me my oldest asked my wife "Why does Daddy always yell at me?" This I chalked up to other things. Stress at work/starting a new job, money trouble, lack of sex with my wife. All these things were what I thought I needed to change but I now realize that those were not the cause but actually caused by PMO.

    Since I have stopped PMO I have noticed our oldest daughter wants to hug me again. When I pick her up from school she shows me a big beautiful smile because she is actually happy to see me.
    Our boy whom is the youngest has also shown a change. For quite some time he stopped greeting me when I came home from work. When he hurt himself he would go out of his way to find my wife. Now runs to the door laughing when I come home. He asks me to tuck him into bed at night and constantly wants me to play with him.
    My second oldest daughter had been showing changes as well. about two years ago my wife and I noticed she had began to stop being the social butterfly she had been before. She would come home from school saying she did not play with anyone at recess and we even got calls from her teachers telling us that she seemed to be alienating herself from other students. Since I stopped PMO merely 18 days ago she has started to come home talking about how she was playing tag with other students or how her and a friend laughed all day about something funny that had happened earlier that day.

    I of course can't prove any correlation between my quitting PMO and the changes of behavior with my children but it sure would be a Hell of a coincidence. I believe with all my heart that my anger and frustration stemmed from PMO. I also know for a fact since I stopped, all three of my children have shows positive improvements in there attitudes toward me as well as in a general sense. Even though it is early on in my reboot I wanted to share this. If anyone out there is in a similar situation, I want them to see that if you make the decision to change your life by sustaining from PMO it can have an incredible affect on not only yourself but also on those closest to you. Before starting this reboot I would ave never guessed that it would have such a positive affect on my family and knowing this now gives me more strength to get better and be a better father and husband for my family.
    I hope that this helps or even inspires someone in a similar situation to decide to quit PMO and if anyone has any questions about my experiences then I would be happy to answer them.

    Thanks for reading!
     
  2. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    Thank you for sharing your story @MovingFoward86. Sounds a little similar to my husbands and my story. He is on his last chance with me as well and, from what I can see so far - he is really trying. Joining NoFap has been a wonderful resource for him, so much so - that he asked me to join myself and find partner support.

    Have you started a journal on here as well?

    I wish you so much success in your journey.
     
  3. MovingFoward86

    MovingFoward86 Fapstronaut

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    I have not started a journal. I post regularly on other threads but have thought about perhaps starting a journal to keep up with. This is all still pretty new to me and I am learning a lot from others. When I am ready I will most likeley start a journal to share my thoughts and what I have learned.

    Thank you for reading.
     
    Jagliana likes this.
  4. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    Sounds great :)

    Good luck!
     

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