How many here never had a girlfriend in high school or uni?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by lonercub, Jan 26, 2019.

  1. iñaki

    iñaki Fapstronaut

    34
    34
    18
    I'm turning 28 this year and never had a girlfriend. Plenty have been interested, but I always end up pushing them away.

    I hope this will change soon. The success stories of people who were in my same situation keep me motivated.
     
    Chappo030891 likes this.
  2. Chappo030891

    Chappo030891 Fapstronaut

    677
    613
    93
    Nice post, man! Appreciate it!!!
     
  3. Chappo030891

    Chappo030891 Fapstronaut

    677
    613
    93
    I will be 28 this year...never had a GF...never even held hands with a girl. It did not bother me before, but now looking back, i feel like i wasted my years from 21-24. Whenever i see a young couple, its a painful sight to see. its natural to resent what you don't have.
     
    ReclaimedLife likes this.
  4. ReclaimedLife

    ReclaimedLife Fapstronaut

    323
    364
    63
    I don't know if anyone is interested, but i did make a post about my Story, maybe you can find something in there that helps you out.

    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/every-single-person-can-change.214097/
     
  5. aggressive turtle

    aggressive turtle Fapstronaut

    9
    6
    3
    I'm on the same boat. Granted I'm 21, but this still sucks.
     
    AuraQ likes this.
  6. BioDegradableLuke

    BioDegradableLuke Fapstronaut

    32
    25
    18
    I had the same until i was 23. then i first went to travel alone and it happened. I love to flirt abroad and its so much easier. Now i am 30 years old and ready for a new relationship wherever it happens!
     
  7. Baerle

    Baerle Fapstronaut

    I'm 22 and I never had a girlfriend (or even sexual contact with someone).
    I think it really is connected to PMO because I started it at the beginning of puberty and by getting false satisfaction from porn I never had the guts to make a first move.
    With my developing social anxiety I avoided girls and I think I wasn't really attractive either. I didn't care about my looks and I blame PMO a bit for it.
     
    Ogikubo likes this.
  8. Ogikubo

    Ogikubo Fapstronaut

    91
    83
    18
    I did have the occasional girlfriend. And while I do not think teens should rush into sex, I know I wanted it. I know I was ready for it. And yet, what would I do? Put the girl on some stupid pedestal, but would have no problem jerking off to magazine porn. Maybe I am being too hard on myself, but this is truly where I started living a lie. One girl, and she was totally beautiful, dumped me. Years later, it occured to me that she was waiting for me to take the first steps. Which I would not do. No wonder my confidence was so weak.
     
  9. BioDegradableLuke

    BioDegradableLuke Fapstronaut

    32
    25
    18
    I had the same issue but solved that when i was abroad. The atmosphere becomes so different, its a lot easier!
     
    Baerle likes this.
  10. I grew up with severe social anxiety and depression, which made me very shy about girls. Porn wasn't nearly as accessible then as it is now, but I used a lot of psubs and whatever porn I could get ahold of; that and dissociation through fantasy was one of the ways I coped (unhealthily) with my psychological problems, and I see now that the coping methods I employed just further exacerbated my social anxiety problems. It was a vicious cycle. I didn't have a serious relationship until I was nearly 30, and I'm extremely lucky to still be in that relationship. I live with a lot of regret that my teen years and my 20s were ruined by PMO and my psychological problems. Only now, in my late 30s, am I finally healing from the trauma of my early childhood, and building a meaningful relationship with a woman whom I love deeply. There's always hope.
     
    iñaki and BioDegradableLuke like this.
  11. lonercub

    lonercub Fapstronaut

    72
    84
    18
    Thanks all of your sharing your life stories.

    I am feeling this more lately too, and the regret can be so much that it can act as a trigger for me. The thing is, I did not blame porn for everything before. And I still highly doubt that if I had never watched porn that I would have a girlfriend in high school. Not being able to get the answer to that, and it's uncertainty, drives me mad with the "what if" questions I put myself through.

    The thing is, there were always people who had girlfriends in high school and there were also many that hadn't. Are we to suppose that all those single people in high school were suffering from PMO?

    In fact, contrary to what I'm thinking now, I used to think that the guys who had girlfriends than, must be so into girls that many considered that these "boyfriend type guys" in high school spent most of their time thinking about girls and that included watching PORN. Porn would spur these guys in high school to get a girlfriend. So it also seemed more logical that the shy, insecure guy, would be more busy with the studies and spend most of his time with friends and family as opposed to girlfriends or watching porn.

    The truth is, I don't remember porn being much of a problem back then as it is now. Back then we didn't have high speed internet. I also remember I came across porn when I was in high school year 2. And even then, it was dial-up. It was a real hassle to get online and connection speeds were low and you didn't have the access to porn videos as is available now. It was mostly access to pictures. I think watching videos can be more harmful than pictures. Also we didn't have laptops so you wouldn't have the privacy anyway. Only very limited times when no one else was around or using the computer. So I find it hard to imagine that just an hour of porn every few months might have caused all my social anxiety in high school.

    If I can deal with the reality of why things happen to be the way they did in high school, and gain some clarity over it, maybe I can stop blaming myself for all of it.
     
  12. -GameOver-

    -GameOver- New Fapstronaut

    4
    1
    3
    Not in high school, not in uni, not in working life.
    With this misery it isn't going to change from my side.
     
  13. Senso repair

    Senso repair Fapstronaut

    25
    15
    3
    I never had a girlfriend because I grew up in a country where friendship or any connection with a female was prohibited(illegal) outside of marriage zone. However, I am 21 years old now and I am still single, but sexual thoughts never leave my mind which the reason why I end up here. I am not addicted to porn or masturbating, but I want to control my sexual desire toward hot girls. Sexuality is a trap either you will dominate it or it will ruin your life senselessly.
     
  14. BioDegradableLuke

    BioDegradableLuke Fapstronaut

    32
    25
    18
    No thats not true. That sounds that sexual desire is something very bad but its actually human instinct and totally normal but can of course grow unnatural if something is unbalanced in mind.

    What you said comes from religion and for me, religion gives just a wrong perspective and most things conrain sexuality are taboo because this and that.
     
  15. lonercub

    lonercub Fapstronaut

    72
    84
    18
    "I used to think that the guys who had girlfriends than, must be so into girls that many considered that these "boyfriend type guys" in high school spent most of their time thinking about girls and that included watching PORN. Porn would spur these guys in high school to get a girlfriend".

    What are your thoughts on this?
     

Share This Page