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How Jesus cured my Femdom Fetish

For Fapstronauts who are disciples of Christ

  1. emanuel.ericsson

    emanuel.ericsson New Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys,

    I want to tell my story about how Jesus saved me from my femdom fetish. First of all sorry for my bad English :)

    I am 28 years old. Like many of you I had this fetish since childhood. In my childhood I didn't have any access to internet so this fetish remained in my imagination. But when we got an internet access BOOM! Millions of femdom porns that I could enjoy. My fetish got weirder and more extreme. What is the most extreme femdom porn you have seen? I have seen them all! I don't want to mention them to enable triggers. I am telling this to show you I understand you and I'm not someone who developed this fetish by porn, I had it when I was a 5 years old child without any access to porn. I even played some soft femdom games with my childhood friends ;)

    When I was 17 years old I found the most extreme femdom porn movies and stories that messed my mental situation badly, too heavy for a 17 years old boy. I told myself I can't continue like this anymore so started to see Psychologists. One of them prescribed me medicines that made me worse. When I was using his medicines I was so angry and mentally unstable and nothing changed in my fetish. I tried everything else, consulting, meditation, forcing myself to watch normal porn. But each time I failed.

    My fetish got worse and worse until I read about internet porn effects on mind and body and I found yourbrainonporn---com. I tried to stop watching porn but it leaded me to a worse path: Edging! There were times that I would watched porn for 6 hours! (yes 6 hours of non-stop femdom porn watching) without ejaculation.

    Year ago I accepted Jesus as my savior. Jesus showed me that he doesn't want me to be a slave, he doesn't like my addiction and he has come to save me, but believe me it was still so hard. I couldn't resist femdom porns. I prayed so much, I read Bible every day I asked Jesus to save me from this fetish. Sometimes I won and I could resist it for few days or even weeks but then again...

    This got worse when I found a girlfriend and could persuade her to try it with me. We started by playing mistress / slave rules in chat. At first she was disgusted but after a while she liked it. She liked the power and influence she had one me.

    IT WAS A HELL! In one side I was happy that now I can experience my fetish with a real girl and in the other hand I was disgusted by it. I felt like a crap each time we did it in chat (We didn't find the chance to try it in real world because God saved me before that). I didn't want to be humiliated and dishonored. Also it was against of what God wanted from me. Sorry my English is not so good to descibe the feeling I had but I'm sure you understand this contradiction.

    Jesus showed me that this girl should go out of my life. It was hard as hell! For 20 years I have this melting desire to be slave of a girl and now God says you must not do that! But I managed to do it. I obeyed Him and never lost my faith and kept praying and obeying God as much as I could. There were a spiritual path that takes so much time to describe but in shortly this is what I did:
    1. I prayed to God everyday
    2. I read Bible everyday
    3. I saw movies about Jesus like Passion of Christ and The Bible mini-serial, I really suggest last one to see how faith can save you.
    4. Each time I lost to Satan and femdom fetishes I backed to my heavenly father. I prayed again and asked Him for forgiveness and saving me.
    5. I obeyed God as much as could.

    And few days ago the miracle happened! I went to a femdom porn website that I visit normaly for newest femdom porns. I felt I don't like them and something in me rejects them. At first I thought it's just one time thing. Same happened next days. This time I thought maybe I got an erection problem and I lost my libido. but then I visited to a normal porn website and I was excited! I ejaculated to those normal porns few times with pleasure! no force, full pleasure! I know it's still a sin to see porn but this is a great sign that I'm cured!

    From that day I have little desire to go to femdom porn website but I'm excited about normal sex. I still have temptations and Satan tries to back me, I even watched femdom porns few times but it didn't took so long and I stopped it soon and asked God for forgiveness. It's not as strong as always, very very weak desire!

    I never experienced this before! I had this fetish for 20 years and there were no time that I didn't want it. I always had excitement and energy for it. Now I feel freed, saved. I don't see myself as a slave anymore. I'm free! Jesus saved me and made me a free man.

    Guys! my friends! who everyone that this fetish has ruined your life. I was there for 20 years, to the point I was confident there is no chance and I should live with it forever. Like you, I tried anything but It didn't work. Like you, I felt like a crap anytime I ejaculated to those porns. Like you, I said to myslef thousands times that I won't watch it again but I did.

    But guys there is a good news for you: Jesus died to save you from this chain! Yes for you! Jesus loves you and wants to save you. Jesus understands you, knows your pain, knows your fetish, he doesn't judge you, he has come exactly for people like you! He says "I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance". Yes, believe it: Jesus died on cross to save a guy with femdom fetish like you and me. Jesus don't see you as others, a weird guy. No! He sees you as precious as his son. YOU ARE NOT A SLAVE, YOU ARE HIS SON! Slavery and femdom fetishes are just chains that Satan has attached to you and Jesus can break them. He believes in you and If you believe in him he can save you.

    After watching thousands of femdom porn movies that tell you "you are worthless, you are slave, you are weak, no woman loves you, you have no honor and etc" you may believed those words but Jesus doesn't think same. He knows you are worthy (Worthy is the lamb), you are precious, you are strong and he truely loves you. Your enemy is not Femdom Porn. Your enemy is Satan who enslaved you with this fetish. Everyones has its own chain and this is yours. But Jesus died on cross to save all of us from our chains.

    And At the end here is my advise: Obey God and he'll move! My miracle happened after when I had to choose between my girlfriend and God. Guys, believe me it was hardest decision I made in my whole life but I obeyed God and he saved me.

    If you guys had any question I'd love to answer.
     
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2019
  2. Dudes_manrod

    Dudes_manrod Fapstronaut

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    I am very happy to hear you have found some strategies to success through your faith my friend! What I appreciate about your story as well, though, is that you list some PRACTICAL steps and habits that you found beneficial.

    While not everyone on this forum may attest to a personal religious belief, or may find their personal spirituality through a different medium, your testimony provides some valuable wisdom that others can put to use in their life.

    My takeaway: it is not enough to simply say "i don't wanna fap anymore, so i'm just not going to! I Will be different this time!" or even in your case "I love God and Jesus, they will protect me! Now I'll never want to look at Porn again!".

    You took PRACTICAL ACTION. For you, reading the bible daily (aka meditating on practical wisdom) and prayed to God (consistent self-reflection and attention to your spiritual health). Regardless of our individual flavors of spirituality, I believe these are healthy habits that have evidenced success in your life!

    I wish you the best!
     
  3. 4DCreator

    4DCreator Fapstronaut

    I also had to leave my ex-gf which was the most hottest woman on this planet. Some people would pay her millions to get her and I had her for many years while all my sexual desired were met in full.

    I am now addicted to her even after 2 years of not being with her anymore. I also believe that the universe will save me from these sick thoughts of vivid sexual fantasies of reality which I have experienced with her. I can clearly see that she was sent by daemon as she was like a doll and I could do anything with her that was on my mind.

    Some guys would definitely appreciate such an experience at least once in a lifetime but trust me it can fuck you up so badly 100x more than porn itself. It will probably take me years to become sort of "healthy" and not dependent after such an experience.

    Well done to you. You will see if that happened forever or only for some time. I wish you a happy life.
     
  4. Retentionman

    Retentionman Fapstronaut

    Whatever works for you man, congrats
     
  5. Woodcutter74

    Woodcutter74 Fapstronaut

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    Similar experience I had with the last woman I truly desired two years ago. But a dream I had of Jesus two days ago changed my way of looking at the past and must now change my ways of habits to have a better life now and forever.
     
    Andreas77 and 4DCreator like this.
  6. overclocked

    overclocked Fapstronaut

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    Hallelujah! I never asked Jesus for advice on quitting porn (maybe I should have), but I'm pretty sure he hates porn and femdom :D
     
    Andreas77, Orest and Woodcutter74 like this.
  7. Woodcutter74

    Woodcutter74 Fapstronaut

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    Never asked advice to Jesus myself or ask God to help me with my porn addiction. When I quit for 68 days straight, I put faith in myself instead. But as I said the dream I had of Jesus and then my ex girlfriend that I still strong desires was somewhat a revelation what I must do to quit porn while changing my mindset. If it was God's way of telling me to quit porn for good, I thank him for doing so.
     
    overclocked likes this.
  8. Can relate to your experience (not with Femdom but porn generally), in my case the demon just came out one morning and I never felt any urge to visit a porn site ever again. But flee from sin completely... and fill your heart with the things of God. God is able to deliver us completely.
     
    overclocked and Woodcutter74 like this.

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