How I used Meditation to end my addiction...

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Lookinwards, Sep 11, 2019.

  1. Lookinwards

    Lookinwards Fapstronaut

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    The heading sounds a bit cliche right? I know it does and there are several stories on internet on how meditation has helped people get off all kinds of addictions in the world and my story might be just one of those but the addiction here is p*rn of course - so I thought I will share my story.

    I won't be exaggerating if I say I was a pervert and I did things online which I shouldn't have and consumed p*rn in industrial quantities. My fantasy world was really messed up with all kind of evil things in there. I consumed porn for over 13 years and it was pretty regular. I do feel terrible about the time I wasted but I feel even more sad about things I did online for the chat 'partners'. I am married man and my wife doesn't know about this. She is definitely the most amazing woman I know and I lied to her so much in the past because of my addiction. I tried several times to quit though but I always failed and in the past six months this got me worried about my love life (with wife) and also my career because I was spending so much time online on p*rn.

    In June 2019, I went for a 10 Day Vipassana Meditation course. This was my second 10 day course btw and the first one did not help me much with quitting p*rn. TBH I wasn't even serious about quitting when I did my first course. The desire to quit p*rn was definitely there in the second course. There are lots of articles online about this Meditation so I will not go into more details.

    After the 10 day course I was back at home and I made it a point to practice Vipassana Meditation two-hours everyday - it was really hard in the beginning but now I am able to do it. During the course, the teacher said:
    "An addict takes a drug because he wishes to experience the pleasurable sensation the drug produces in him, even though he knows that by taking the drug he reinforces the addiction." and therefore through meditation I learnt:
    1. To be aware of my cravings for p*rn and not react to it - so no chance of relapse anymore
    2. How to observe these sensations and train my mind to not react
    3. Observe the triggers and not react to them

    This has been a winning formula for me. I didn't have to go for a run and say to myself "I am a strong man" because that is only at a conscious level, so there is a possibility of relapse. In my case - I was training the subconscious mind (through everyday meditation) to not react to cravings or triggers. Most of the past two months - I have been at home (alone), with high speed internet and all the access to p*rn I always had but now there is no going back.

    In case this interests or inspires anyone, feel free to get in touch and we can chat. I wish you all the best.

    Be Happy.
     
  2. lirider

    lirider Fapstronaut

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    Is meditation just clearing your mind? I did an app, found it kind of annoying and turned it off.
     
  3. Oxyd_

    Oxyd_ Fapstronaut

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    Do not use apps or guided meditations. Those are full of affirmations and sentences that your conscious mind will keep rejecting because you don't believe in them. Furthermore they're are distracting because the point of meditating is to be focused and concentrated. And you can't concentrate if an app keep popping up different affirmation after different affirmation. You'll get lost, confused and annoyed.

    My method: Sit on the floor, cross the legs with a pillow under you. Place your hands on your knees and position them in Gyan Mudra ( This mudra is performed by touching your index fingertip to the tip of your thumb while holding your other three fingers straight. ) It allows energy to flow better and improves concentration and place the tongue on the palate ( roof of the mouth )

    Next, breath in an out using the Wim Hof method for about a minute or 2. This will calm your body and mind allowing you to relax. Make sure you're conscious about the spine because people tend to lean over. If you feel leaning over get back and straighten the spine again.

    Use a word or a single affirmation alligned with your breathing. As you exhale you think of the word " Flower " or any other word. It should have a neutral meaning. Positive one is ok but definitely not negative one. Do this for 20 minutes in the morning and at night before going to bed. With time you won't even need the word and you'll just sit the observing your body and feeling the energy flowing. Good luck. let me know if you gave it a try and found it useful
     
    RobbyGo36 likes this.
  4. lirider

    lirider Fapstronaut

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    Thank you so much. Everyone says meditate...but how? One thing I don't still get is concentrate and focus on what? Nothing? I'll start with your suggestions tonight. You are totally right about the affirmations....
     
  5. Lookinwards

    Lookinwards Fapstronaut

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    I wish you the best. It is best however, to learn from a teacher. Meditation is like gymming - technique is everything. In our distracted worlds, it is not easy to calm mind just by focussing on respiration if you have never done it before. Prior to my Vipassana courses, I tried to learn it on my own but never succeeded. We all are different though, I hope it works for you. I constantly keep in touch with a friend who is doing meditation for several years and he is clearly way ahead of me on the spiritual path. When you meditate and you progress on The Path, you will have so many questions...how will you find an answer to them if you are doing it on your own or through an app? That is something to think about. Metta to you my friend.
     
  6. lirider

    lirider Fapstronaut

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    Very good advice. Thank you for taking the time. Metta to you....
     
  7. countdown

    countdown Fapstronaut

    Meditation is helping A LOT! Essential, I would say.
     
    Lookinwards likes this.
  8. Rishabh king

    Rishabh king Fapstronaut

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    I would like to know how you were able to deal with urges personal you can message me
     
  9. Lookinwards

    Lookinwards Fapstronaut

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    Hello there,

    Once you start looking inwards and start to walk on The Path, you become more aware of your passions and urges. This is just one part of it. The second part is that with practice of Meditation your sub-conscious mind learns not to react to these urges. That is how you win :) If you want to know more, see this Tedx Talk by Eilona Ariel :

    This will help you understand.
     
  10. Oxyd_

    Oxyd_ Fapstronaut

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    The method I've described you is how I started. Focusing on breathing doesn't help me whereas the word or affirmation yes. An example of affirmation " I'm free, it doesn't matter any more " . As I inhale I say ( mentally don't speak ) " I'm free " I exhale I say " It doesn't matter anymore ". On and on and on till a point where I don't need it anymore then I stop and just observe. It is imperitive that you don't fight or try to change the thoughts that normally arise. Your brain can't stop thinking cause that's what it does. The only way to stop thoughts is to either be brain dead or physically dead. You let the thought come in, regardless positive or negative and you just observe it. This is where people get frustrated cause they're all like " Duh but my brain keeps racing I can't stop it ". I'ts not meant to stop. The more you practice sooner the thoughts will stop having meaning because you've disconnected the emotion from it. This will take time and you can't feel discouraged by it. The more you push forward the sooner you see the results. It's also extremely important that you meditate in the morning. You can always find time in the morning. You get out of bed as the clock rings and you sit on the floor. There will be days where you'll feel not doing or you'll have that voice in your head saying " Nah bro, stay in bed it's comfier" . That's where you jump out. 20 minutes in the morning, 20 minutes in the afternoon and 20 minutes before going to bed. If you can't during the day due to the nature of your schedule , at least do it in the morning and before going to bed. Consistency is key so do it every single day. Do not meditate if you had alcohol or full stomach. Whenever I go out for drinks I don't meditate because it is pointless, but since you can't go out every single night for sure you'll see results if you discipline yourself during the week.
     
  11. twistedshadows23

    twistedshadows23 Fapstronaut

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    Meditation has been helping me so much. If you can learn to stomach the guided ones, they are very helpful. I use the calm app and meditate every day. I credit every single day of my success to meditation.
     
  12. lirider

    lirider Fapstronaut

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    This is so helpful. Finally, a "procedure" to begin with. I like how you point out how you might start to observe and do not try to fight or change your thoughts. Observe and disconnect... My mind is a racer. Mow the lawn, clean the shower, that pretty girl at work...Thank you so much for sharing.
     
  13. Chappo030891

    Chappo030891 Fapstronaut

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    dude your post is fucking legendary! So inspiring! Keep it going man!
    great stuff!
     
  14. Oxyd_

    Oxyd_ Fapstronaut

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    Happy to help dude.

    I felt like clearing that out for you because you seem to be stuck in the same old premise that in order to meditate you have to be thoughtless. That doesn’t happen and won’t never happen unless you’re like a super sage that can meditate for days on end. Meditation means focus, concentration. We overthink and have thoughts crippling us 24/7 because our brain is like a child on sugar. It is always active and the more sugar ( emotions ) you give it the worst it becomes. Meditation stops that and you’ll see resistance from your brain to it because it will be craving for that. But then you say :” fuck that noise “ and one day without you even noticing you’ll be present in your daily routine without having thoughts and emotions piggybacking you and messing you up. But like I said: consistency consistency consistency. That’s the key.

    Cheers
     
  15. Oxyd_

    Oxyd_ Fapstronaut

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    Word bro

    Since my teen years I’ve always known the benefits of meditation but like an ignorant I’d do it once in a while and then would get frustrated because I wasn’t seeing results. So I’d quit. Now I’m 33 and for the last month I have been meditating every day 40 minutes to 1 hour ( split between morning afternoon and night) and I’m starting to see it’s benefits. I feel that I don’t overthink or get my emotions to take the best of me. One example is when playing videogames, in this particular case Battlefield 1. I’d get super frustrated and rage if a round wouldn’t go so well as I was used to and now I don’t even care. I feel more focused and present and my skill has definitely improved. Same thing at work and other aspects of life. I’m not getting easily triggered as I used to. Another example: I cycle to work every morning and today I was already somewhat far when I realized I had left my wallet at home. In the past I’d say 4737373 times “fuck my life “ and would feel the rage coming up and consuming me. Today I just said :” fuck it let’s go back “ smiled and effortlessly went back without thinking about or even feeling mad.

    Meditation + nofap + cold showers are definitely doing wonders

    Cheers
     
  16. TIMMY0110

    TIMMY0110 Fapstronaut

    This video explains why and how meditation helps
     
  17. Xander_

    Xander_ Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    I am 100% with this man, this is the method i used consistently with every urge, and now i am at 150+ days. It is possible, all that is necessary is a proper strategy.
     
    Lookinwards likes this.
  18. twistedshadows23

    twistedshadows23 Fapstronaut

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    Good deal man, meditation is really just a change in your mindset. I like the example you gave about forgetting your wallet. It’s not some magic pill that fixes everything but it helps you practice acceptance and letting go.
     
  19. Lookinwards

    Lookinwards Fapstronaut

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    Wow :) I just completed my 60 days today bro
     

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