how i lessen the blow of relapsing

Why would you want to lessen the blow of a relapse at all? The negative feelings are one of the biggest motivators to not relapse again. If you make it feel less bad then the you make the relapse less bad, do you want that?

 

It's not about wallowing in self-pity. It's about having the right focus. Making a list with all the things you will do after a relapse has the same issue like this guy from another post has, who always used to travel by foot, train, or even plane when the urges hit. You're sending a subconscious message to yourself that you're expecting a relapse from yourself. Otherwise you wouldn't need a plan. Well that should tell you something important about yourself: that you still believe porn belongs to your life, otherwise you wouldn't want it so badly.
You should focus on changing your beliefs about porn rather than focusing on how to minimize the damage that come from your beliefs. In fact, the worse you feel after a relapse, the higher the chance that you can use those bad experiences as fuel to change your beliefs.

 

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So why don't other people who usually don't watch porn, watch porn when they feel bad? The answer is not "because they aren't addicts". It's because they don't believe porn has any value in the first place. You on the other hand do believe that.
Meaning you don't binge because you feel bad, you binge because you think it's a good thing to do period.

 

I relapsed after day 69. I feel absolutely terrible. I am honestly worried sick about the damage that I have caused my body over the course of these past 10 months, and was wondering if you could recommend any practices to rebuild the energy? Thanks in advance!

 

Thanks a ton, and I wish you all the best in service. I didn't serve per se, but I attended the military academy at West Point for two years where I went months without relapsing. I believe I would relapse 6-8 times in a year long period, only during the breaks. That was when I wasn't aware of nofap. I believe that your discipline will naturally solidify when you join an organization such as that, and I hope that you only see good changes

 

First thing you need is understanding. You need to understand why you relapsed and why you feel terrible, because that seemingly contradicts itself.
The reason is because the you that wants to quit and the you who watches porn are not strictly speaking the same entities. They are subconscious forces that have their own beliefs and goals and "drive" you to do certain things. Of course your consciousness always has the final say because you have free will and can decide what "urge" you act on. But the psyche of a human isn't a singular thing that wants one thing at a time, like a machine, we don't work like that.

So one side of you is urging you to quit porn, because it recognizes it's bad for your life in the long-term. That's the conscientious you. Your Jiminy Cricket from Disneys Pinocchio if you've ever watched the movie. That's the you that leads you to feel terrible after you relapse, because from it's perspective you done something that's really bad.
But why did you do it in the first place? Because you lust doesn't agree with Cricket. Your lust thinks porn is just great and belongs to your life, because all your lust wants is to get off. And it knows porn to be a great way to do that.

Don't worry about your past mistakes, what's done is done. But to be hopeful, enthusiastic and full of energy again to move forward, you need to be able to trust yourself. To trust yourself you need to align the beliefs of your lust with the beliefs of your Cricket (I know it sounds a bit silly, but this is based on solid psychology and I hope the Cricket metaphor makes you understand). You need to give alternatives to your lust, because put yourself into it's shoes, in it's world porn is the best thing it has, if you take that away it maybe doesn't have much or anything left (depending on your relationship status). So you need to convince your lust that porn is too expensive in terms of cost and result and that it can get almost the same results with masturbation to fantasy and way way better results through sex. You have to make your lust understand how low quality porn is, you have to destroy your delusions about it. Become really aware of all the negative consequences of watching it.

Within a couple days to weeks of hard thinking you can change your subconscious beliefs about porn and you'll be free. How do you know you're free? You don't have any serious thoughts about PMO anymore. Your urges will be reduced to a whisper rather than a shout in your face. It will feel easy to no watch it because you don't think that it's good any longer. Your lust and Cricket want the same thing regarding porn, your beliefs become aligned. Now you can trust yourself that you won't relapse again. That will give you all the hope and energy that you need to move forward.

I've tried to condense a really complex subject matter into a few paragraphs, so if you have questions don't hesitate to ask.