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how i lessen the blow of relapsing

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Deleted Account, Feb 25, 2019.

  1. So we all know when you relapse you feel shame, guilt, disgust, and shortly after depression kicks in, usually the day after for me is when it really hits if i relapse at night. So here i my routine for decreasing relapse side effects by i believe atleast 50%, and let me make this clear, i did not make this post so you can have an excuse to relapse, its just to help you if you do.
    1. so first things first, the state of mind you are in before the relapse will determine a lot about how you end up, if you are in a very good place, healthy, happy, than you will likely just wake up feeling kinda sick almost, not physically sick, but sluggish, not really happy or sad. If you are in a bad place when you relapse you will go to an even worse place.
    2. so the first thing i do when i relapse is go take a nice hot bath, i also go there when i relapse or do something i am ashamed of, after my first orgasm ever when i was 12 i went to the bath because i was so shocked i actually had one and i also felt guilty, so go to your safe place afterwords right away, hot water also lowers depression and it allows you a private place to think so thats why i love hot baths.
    3. after the hot bath i will take a freezing cold shower, as a way of disciplining myself, ofcourse i already take them daily but taking one when i dont feel like it is harder.
    4. SMILE!, i made a post about this earlier but smiling helps so much, it tricks your brain into thinking things are alright and good, so smile and think of a happy memory, do this when bathing also.
    5. now when i am done bathing i take out a piece of paper and identify why i relapsed, and i figure out how i can prevent them, do not let your brain fall into a bad place, smile and tell yourself you will not be depressed, that will just make life harder, instead you will work harder than ever to prevent another relapse and you will do it with a smile!.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 15, 2019
    boichy and RightLane like this.
  2. ZenAF

    ZenAF Fapstronaut

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    Why would you want to lessen the blow of a relapse at all? The negative feelings are one of the biggest motivators to not relapse again. If you make it feel less bad then the you make the relapse less bad, do you want that?
     
    AxBlaim likes this.
  3. because if you do relapse its absolutely retarded to make yourself more depressed than needed, i already feel like shit when i relapse and i dont intend to do it again, making yourself sadder than needed will only make it harder to pull yourself up again, it will actually increase your chance of chain relapsing if you feel worse than need be afterwords, atleast with my method i am in a stable enough mind to not do it again and work even harder. You can have fun following in self pity if you want.
     
    selfimprovement8008 likes this.
  4. hope this helps people.
     
    RightLane likes this.
  5. ZenAF

    ZenAF Fapstronaut

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    It's not about wallowing in self-pity. It's about having the right focus. Making a list with all the things you will do after a relapse has the same issue like this guy from another post has, who always used to travel by foot, train, or even plane when the urges hit. You're sending a subconscious message to yourself that you're expecting a relapse from yourself. Otherwise you wouldn't need a plan. Well that should tell you something important about yourself: that you still believe porn belongs to your life, otherwise you wouldn't want it so badly.
    You should focus on changing your beliefs about porn rather than focusing on how to minimize the damage that come from your beliefs. In fact, the worse you feel after a relapse, the higher the chance that you can use those bad experiences as fuel to change your beliefs.
     
    AxBlaim likes this.
  6. Eddie7

    Eddie7 Fapstronaut

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    I need to get a signature and I don’t even have 1 like. To get a signature I need a like. Someone plz like this post so I can get a signature
     
    RightLane likes this.
  7. the worse you feel the higher chance of binging.
     
  8. ZenAF

    ZenAF Fapstronaut

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    So why don't other people who usually don't watch porn, watch porn when they feel bad? The answer is not "because they aren't addicts". It's because they don't believe porn has any value in the first place. You on the other hand do believe that.
    Meaning you don't binge because you feel bad, you binge because you think it's a good thing to do period.
     
    AxBlaim and Freeddom_Taker like this.
  9. I have no idea where you came up with such crazy assumptions, listen bro we all relapse, the point of this post is to help you if you do relapse, you can have fun getting off on the negative feelings if you want, but i see no point in suffering more than necessary, the fact that people are even on nofap means they want to stop, they dont need to plunge into the deps of hell every time they relapse like you do.
     
  10. Ravefist

    Ravefist Fapstronaut

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    I relapsed after day 69. I feel absolutely terrible. I am honestly worried sick about the damage that I have caused my body over the course of these past 10 months, and was wondering if you could recommend any practices to rebuild the energy? Thanks in advance!
     
    RightLane likes this.
  11. First thing i recommend is what i said in the post, also you made it 69 days! that is no small feat, you did a lot for your body during that time period, yes you messed up but you do not have to keep messing up, do not go binge relapsing, that is when you truly lose progress and fail. Now is a good time to look at yourself and figure out what needs to be done, unless you are 100% wanting to quit you never will, you also need a higher goal i realized, unless you have something to strive for you will never have motivation to quit, its kind of like my smoking addiction i used to have, i am joining the navy soon so i had to quit, that was my motivation and goal, you need something powerful like that for porn. You need something infront of you to aim for, getting a girlfriend would not be a bad idea, when you have someone you want to please and be worthy of, you will go into overdrive and make sure you do not fail, so that is what you need, a big goal that is not far off, and something right infront of you that you can reach for and have a burning desire to reach.
     
  12. Ravefist

    Ravefist Fapstronaut

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    Thanks a ton, and I wish you all the best in service. I didn't serve per se, but I attended the military academy at West Point for two years where I went months without relapsing. I believe I would relapse 6-8 times in a year long period, only during the breaks. That was when I wasn't aware of nofap. I believe that your discipline will naturally solidify when you join an organization such as that, and I hope that you only see good changes
     
    BravelyKegger likes this.
  13. ZenAF

    ZenAF Fapstronaut

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    First thing you need is understanding. You need to understand why you relapsed and why you feel terrible, because that seemingly contradicts itself.
    The reason is because the you that wants to quit and the you who watches porn are not strictly speaking the same entities. They are subconscious forces that have their own beliefs and goals and "drive" you to do certain things. Of course your consciousness always has the final say because you have free will and can decide what "urge" you act on. But the psyche of a human isn't a singular thing that wants one thing at a time, like a machine, we don't work like that.

    So one side of you is urging you to quit porn, because it recognizes it's bad for your life in the long-term. That's the conscientious you. Your Jiminy Cricket from Disneys Pinocchio if you've ever watched the movie. That's the you that leads you to feel terrible after you relapse, because from it's perspective you done something that's really bad.
    But why did you do it in the first place? Because you lust doesn't agree with Cricket. Your lust thinks porn is just great and belongs to your life, because all your lust wants is to get off. And it knows porn to be a great way to do that.

    Don't worry about your past mistakes, what's done is done. But to be hopeful, enthusiastic and full of energy again to move forward, you need to be able to trust yourself. To trust yourself you need to align the beliefs of your lust with the beliefs of your Cricket (I know it sounds a bit silly, but this is based on solid psychology and I hope the Cricket metaphor makes you understand). You need to give alternatives to your lust, because put yourself into it's shoes, in it's world porn is the best thing it has, if you take that away it maybe doesn't have much or anything left (depending on your relationship status). So you need to convince your lust that porn is too expensive in terms of cost and result and that it can get almost the same results with masturbation to fantasy and way way better results through sex. You have to make your lust understand how low quality porn is, you have to destroy your delusions about it. Become really aware of all the negative consequences of watching it.

    Within a couple days to weeks of hard thinking you can change your subconscious beliefs about porn and you'll be free. How do you know you're free? You don't have any serious thoughts about PMO anymore. Your urges will be reduced to a whisper rather than a shout in your face. It will feel easy to no watch it because you don't think that it's good any longer. Your lust and Cricket want the same thing regarding porn, your beliefs become aligned. Now you can trust yourself that you won't relapse again. That will give you all the hope and energy that you need to move forward.

    I've tried to condense a really complex subject matter into a few paragraphs, so if you have questions don't hesitate to ask.
     
  14. good luck, and thanks, you to.
     

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