How I failed the school to real life transition.

Towards the end of my schooling career I felt, for the first time, that I really belonged. I was a House Cpt and a Valedictorian in my graduating year, and although I wasn't particularly popular with students, I was accepted and had strong relationships with my teachers. In my Valedictorian speech I told everyone that when graduating and starting your life, no one knows what they want to do yet, but the worst decision is no decision at all. I did not take my own advice, I want to Uni for 2 weeks, decided the course wasn't for me, deferred and worked a casual job up until now. My fitness schedule went to shit, I spent days at home achieving nothing, my social circle got caught up with new Uni friends and I have been feeling the worst I have ever felt in my own life. I am unfit, I have created bad habits and I have such little resilience currently because I am so frustrated with my life choices. I have put off job applications and social events because I feel that with my current life style, I am not good enough. My life right now is working a few days a week at a restaurant. I failed the school to real life transition. I really did, but here is what I learnt:

-You need something to look forward to in life. If you arent working towards a goal, you dont have any trips or activities planned and your just sitting around, your going to feel like shit. You need to have a sense of accomplishment in your life or be working towards one, or your not going to value yourself.

-I need structure to function. I miss having to be up at 7am in order to get ready to school. I would stay at school from 8am-5pm every day studying. Now it doesn't matter if I get up at 11am and go to bed at 1am. I have nothing in my life that needs the structure, my working hours are only small 5 hour shifts which I can always fit in. My day is no longer filled and I am left to my own devices. Which usually means Youtube and Netflix for the day. How boring. This year I have achieved absolutely nothing. Meanwhile I have a younger brother doing his senior year and an older sister finishing a degree. I wish I was as productive as them.

-The longer you leave it, the harder it is to do it. I have put off an application for police force all year. Now, when I sit down to fill out the form, my application sucks. I have no community involvement in 2019. My application would be 10x stronger if I had done it at the start of the year. Now, knowing how weak my application is it is discouraging to even sit down and start writing, because I know how much of a joke I feel like. It is demoralizing. Don't put stuff off, do it whenever you can while you can. Make the most of your opportunities.

-The more you do, the more energy you have. I feel tired, I wake up and I feel tired. I sit at my computer and I feel tired. I go to be tired. I don't do much with my day though. I have recently gotten back into working out and the first thing I noticed is the energy that it gives you. One small change in my lifestyle and I wake up with more energy. Keep yourself busy and active and you will have more energy than if you had just rested all day. Weird how the body does that.

-You can't appreciate the highs without the lows. My life is pretty shit right now. My life was pretty sweet last year. I think it is important to experience your range of emotions so you can appreciate the good and bad feelings respectively. When I get my life back on track and I am feeling good and accomplished again, I will remember this year, I will remember how bad I felt, and I will appreciate my happiness that little bit more. It's a learning experience.


My game plan for my life now is to get my applications in for everything I want to do, fill my life with things to look forward to, sport clubs, hobbies, social events and volunteering are all things I am working to get more involved in. I still have 4 months left of the year, and I can go into 2020 with a life that makes me feel satisfied at the end of the day. I am the only one that can make that happen and I am going to make that happen. Wish me luck and let me know what you think. Thanks for reading