How I destroyed the emotional part of myself - and need advices to come back

Hello guys, I'm new to this forum. I would like to ask you for some advice because I'm losing myself for the last 3 months.
I have never had sexual problems before, even though I watch porn and masturbate since 12. Most of the time I was watching vanilla videos, sometimes I wanted to see something more hardcore but nothing too weird (threesomes, etc.). I also never treated porn as something personal, it was always some kind of stress relief and the way to fulfill my desires. I think it is necessary to add - I was always and I am still a jealous person, with a romantic view on the relationship and zero fetishes.
At the age of 17, I met a girl and fell in love with her she reciprocates my feelings and the years flew in a happy, romantic way with great sexual life.
The problem started now - at the age of 20, I and my girlfriend went to university - I'm in a different city now, but it is like 40 minutes distance between me and her so we meet twice a week, sometimes even more often. In the beginning, everything was awesome but in January 2019 things started to change because of my loneliness in another city ( have high libido) - I started to watch porn, too much of it and then I found cuckold, femdom videos. At first, I had no idea what was going on in there because English is not my native language and out of simple curiosity I wanted to find out what is the meaning of "cuckold". I found some website with weird stories of people calling themselves "cuckolds" and was pretty much disgusted of what I read. Now I need to mentions that I might have OCD because since I remember I had different kinds of obsessive thoughts, connected to religion, sexuality, my intelligence, my health, etc. but I was always able to defeat them after a short period of time.
I was so disgusted (never masturbated to it or anything) that I wanted to find out why people do that kind of shit and started to read their stories. I was feeling more and more disgusted and was trying to imagine myself in this situation. Finally, I defeated the thoughts and was happy till march.
In March, I was watching porn again and on the main website, I found a video of cuckolding. I did not watch it, but the title made me fear and imagine myself in the situation again. Days passed and I was more and more stressed out. I could not stop thinking about it, I could not even sleep or learn. Now it is June and I am not stressed out anymore. Even my libido came back, but there is one HUGE problem - because of all this stress and imagining me and my girlfriend in situations so hurtful to me I started to lose emotions. I can't love as much as I did before, I feel like I stopped caring about my relationships because of it. But I know I love her and want to finally get rid of those memories, stress and thinking about porn. I became a little addicted to masturbation - fapped 2 times a day, watching vanilla porn every day. Now I'm trying to give up on porn. And here is my question - do you think it will help me bring my old self back? My self-confidence, the feeling of love not only knowing about it, and full relief of thoughts about this porn? Is there any way to reboot my brain? I feel like myself only the first 5 minutes after waking up then well, you know... Please, help me

 

Well my emotions always were very strong. I felt I love her every day - my relationship was the most important thing to me. My life before was pretty normal I guess - learning, playing video games, swimming, trying to be fit, meeting friends, going on dates with my girlfriend. Basically, everything I wanted my life to be. And was masturbating only 3/2 times a week - that made me feel healthier. I am self-confident and never was afraid of talking about my emotions, showing love or sadness. I did not think about my life before - it just was, and I knew I liked it. Now I'm even more aggressive than I was.

 

Sounds pretty good - I will try for sure. To be honest, even writing here and the possibility to talk about my stress made me feel pretty much like before. I will stop the porn, always wanted to cuz always find even vanilla videos being a little disgusting and not natural.
I don't feel like I have any weird urges or desires - only stress I want to defeat. Thank you, I feel that if I stop thinking and watching and repeating the whole process I will be back myself pretty soon.