How do you permanently stay in the mindset that porn is harmful and must never be used?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by skaterdrew, May 22, 2019.

  1. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    I am in the this for the long hall. I basically want not using porn to be my new permanent lifestyle.

    But the problem with me is I am very guilty of forgetting how bad something is after I stop experiencing it's negative effects for a while. I basically become obsessed about things, and the things I am obsessed about I do well with. So the now I am very obsessed with stopping porn, I am very aware of it's negative effects, mentally and sexually. But I have been very aware of it's negative effects for a while now, and I have been very obsessed with stopping porn for a while now.

    The worry I have is the longer I am away from porn, the less I will experience it's negative effects, the less I could obsess about the negative effects of porn. The problem with me is when I am not obsessed and worried about something I usually massively drop my guard, I forget how bad something is. I am just worried this ever happens with porn. Maybe if I was off porn for so long and if I started using it again I would think it's ok to use it now and again. Because they say if your off porn for long enough and you started using it again the negative effects won't be as severe. That could basically trick me in to thinking it's ok to use it sometimes. I know it's not.

    So yeah I just want to always remain in the strict mindset I must never use porn.
     
    Last edited: May 22, 2019
  2. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    The stories of other people who have been affected such as in the book Your Brain on Porn or just on this forum is a good reminder.
     
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  3. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    Or look at the effects porn has on society and on women in the porn industry. Then it's not about your health but about making the world a better place. When you're feeling strong try Gail Dines book Pornland.
     
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  4. Tryingto

    Tryingto Fapstronaut

    This is something I struggle with too, @skaterdrew. I 'forget', then begin to think that one little peek might be okay, and then the whole cycle kicks in again. I've found the first thing to do about this is be honest - as you have - about this tendency.

    Then I try to have a number of reminder strategies at my disposal, things I can turn to when I realize I have 'forgotten' again. Some of these are:
    • come to this site,
    • go to a twelve-step meeting,
    • actively remember when my life is like in addiction,
    • watch addiction / intervention clips on youtube,
    • read addict stories in books.
    While by no means a perfect list, these each have helped me at one point or another.

    What might your list look like?
     
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  5. Tao Jones

    Tao Jones Fapstronaut

    I asked this same question to the older, wiser folks at a meeting one time. I was feeling good in my recovery but was mature enough to realize that I was getting complacent. Recovery and complacency seemed to go hand-in-hand. I wasn't sure what to do.

    They all said the same thing almost at the same time: "You help others."

    So, six years in, that's what I try to do, every day. I found this site about 8 or 9 months ago, and I have been active on here every single day since then. Helping others in their recoveries helps me in mine! Not a bad way to spend a life.
     
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  6. Survivalist

    Survivalist NoFap Moderator
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    Create a reminding paragraph. Lines of text that clearly states the mindest you want to adapt. Re-read that text whenever you feel to.
    It should start with something like this:

    "
    - I am reminding myself that porn is..
    - I am also aware that porn is..
    "
    Etc.. etc..

    Also quitting porn for its negative consequences alone, and disregarding the positive benefits that you are missing is something most do. The trick here though is to not do that; you should also keep in mind the positive benefits you will miss if you stay indulged in such negative activities. Go for the joy and not just run from the fire.

    * P.S these are just my personal opinions
     
  7. Blackjedireturns

    Blackjedireturns Fapstronaut

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    Hey man what's up thanks for sharing.
    I completely understand where your coming from , it's a tough mind state loop to get out of.
    You sound like you know yourself well and understand your weakness. This is gonna sound crazy but it sounds like you need a while lifestyle change. I know sounds drastic. Hear me out.
    Your mindset sounds set you understand the loop and how your brain can trick you.
    Maybe it's time to trick your mind.
    Change you lifestyle . Start with small things. You basically have to rewire your while kind you have to trick yourself. This is a terribly difficult thing it's not gonna be easy. But start slow love yourself and remember your in a battle with your mind.
    Good luck my friend
     
  8. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    1. You have to acknowledge and accept that watching porn is literal cuckoldry. You choose a girl you are sexually attracted to and watch her get f by another man while you're in the room with them, masturbating, while she is sometimes looking at you. Basically every PMO user that likes to think watching porn and masturbating is acceptable should masturbate in the room with two people fking, or else he's a hypocrite. Thankfully the world is not that degenerate yet and most men still acknowledge that this would be a disturbing behavior. It's one of the most pathetic behaviors that a man can do, really. It's complete and utter defeat and submission. What's also very funny is that you can't really distinguish between many "cuckold" and "normal porn" clips if the title doesn't tell you. Why? Because they're literally the same. If you want to really understand what's going on when you watch porn and masturbate, you need to search "cuckold masturbates" and see "images" tab on google. That cuckold is you.

    2. Even if you watch solo porn, it's still pathetic behavior and you should also apply the same standards as the previous example. What would you think of yourself if a woman came in your room, stripped for you and then you masturbated and she left without you even touching her? What would she think of you? It's also beta behavior.

    3. Masturbation is an abnormal act in itself as you're literally stroking dick and enjoying it. You are both the woman and the man. If you're a male, this should set off some alarms in your head and since it doesn't you have a problem you need to solve.
     
    Last edited: May 23, 2019
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  9. Targaryenn

    Targaryenn Fapstronaut

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    P. destroys everything.
    P. destroys our brains.
    P. changes the brain. Just like drugs and other addictive substances.
    P. seriously affects your personal life.
    P. will ruin your life.
    Etc., etc., etc., etc., etc.

    It is enough?
     
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  10. Pepa

    Pepa Fapstronaut

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    Hi,
    the first thing I see this is resistance...You dont accept, porn is here.In my opinion, the first step is to accept things like they are here.
    Because what you resist, persist...
    1, accept porn . It is here and unfortunatelly I think, will be here always
    2, accept your situation without resistance, this is old situation and you are not alone in it...a lot of other guys have it
    3, by accepting things you receive a new energy to solve the things
     
  11. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    Quoting one's own post is probably a bad sign! But I wanted to pop back because I found a great Gail Dines quote that may help too:
    (from https://twitter.com/FiLiA_charity/status/1070228819246768133)
     
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  12. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    visit this site at least 3 times a week and read, read read
     
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  13. CH3RRY

    CH3RRY Fapstronaut

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    It's about making your life so great that porn won't have a place in it. Once you start abstaining from porn, you should also start making your life better. Your life will keep getting better and as a result, you forget about your old habit.
     
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  14. ZenAF

    ZenAF Fapstronaut

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    I think you do it the same way as I got rid of my HOCD. Basically you first find out your own truth, which I'm sure you've done already and you came to the conclusion that porn is bad for your life. Now it's about trusting that conclusion. Which means when the urge pops up, you don't get into it and argue with yourself and go over all the reasons again. That just reinforces the pathways. Instead dismiss the thought as "I've already thought about this, I'm not going to think it through again".
     
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  15. 7evenreasons

    7evenreasons Fapstronaut

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    yea im reading this book right now... DEFINITELY CHANGES MY WHOLE POINT OF VIEW OF PORN. The industry really degrades women like that like sluts, and its all for money. what type of bullshit. NEVER WATCHING PORN AGAIN. THANKS>
     
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  16. Pity

    Pity Fapstronaut

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    This makes me sad although Im happy for you
     
  17. Tao Jones

    Tao Jones Fapstronaut

    I don't understand. What makes you sad about what I wrote?
     
  18. Fractured Mindset

    Fractured Mindset Fapstronaut

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    remind yourself of the misery you caused yourself.

    That little relapse rush isn't going to help you.
     
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