How do you handle ghosting?

You could drop her a text stating how her abandoning you is affecting you. Tell her how you want to share each other's feelings and you just need a closure, if she's ending it.
Edit: The key here is to be gentle and not scaring her away. You need to assure her that she can have all the space she needs in your discussion.

 

If you want to burn the bridge, DO THIS ^^^. It is way too early to be talking like this, you're not even in a relationship.

This is what I do:
1.) Accept she's probably moved on, found another guy locked down, lost interest, OR she is thinking about hanging out with you again after she's less busy. Either way, I don't mind, she's hasn't won me over yet and I have a ton of other stuff I need to do.
2.) If I *REALLY* want to see her again, I'll ping her anywhere between a week or three weeks later, just picking up wherever we left off. "Hey XYZ, you been keepin out of trouble?" and if she responds you can text her a few more times before pitching a date.
3.) If she accepts: Perfect, ghosting handled.
4.) If she gives me the runaround, or no response, I move on: Perfect, ghosting handled.

Forget about thinking it's "cowardly", women have a lot of BS, from simple drama... to outright physical violence and rape from men they reject. Have some compassion for women that ghost, you don't know what they've experienced.

I recommend having high Standards, not Expectations.

 

Why don't you just call her? If you want to talk to her now, call her now, you don't need to wait for ages, this is playing games. If she doesn't pick up the phone, try again later, if she doesn't react at all for days, move on. May be you will hear form her at some point, may be you won't.

I am sustainably dating a woman for the first time in a long time at the moment, and I notice again how irritating, strange and exhausting texting often feels. I don't see how anybody would voluntarily choose to text instead of call, other than cowardly shying away from direct confrontation or just doing it because everyone does it or to fix one's constant need for attention. Communication in texting is flat and empty, and you even communicate slower. The shift from calling to texting is more a regress than a progress in communication technology. The only positive aspects are that you are independent of the other person's availability, and you can do it anywhere without disturbing the environment, plus group chats. Just some general remarks on texting.

So, what is more important: Getting the answers or making this work? I suppose it is the latter, as you can still get the answers later? So, why don't you just try to see her again and make sure the two of you have a good time? You don't have to confront her with the situation. I agree with @primaljade that without knowing the reasons, you should not jump to quick conclusions. And again, you can still ask her about it when you are about to start a relationship.

 

From what I can tell, you've had a bit of correspondence, a make out, and you guys hardly even know each other. We're talking about someone you haven't even had sex with, let alone a relationship. If she's been your gf/wife for a year than yeah, ghosting is a shitty thing to do.

Don't sweat the small stuff.

Too much calling, not enough meeting, can scare girls off. No idea how much you were doing.

1.) Texting is way easier for logistics, especially in loud environments. You can do it anywhere, (almost) anytime.
2.) I'm not gonna chit-chat with some stranger, I'm going to arrange a date.
3.) A lot of girls let it go to voicemail (since they're afraid of talking to strangers on the phone) then they'll *text* me back. I'll skip the step.
4.) I can review exactly what I write before I hit send. With voicemail, there's risk of making a stupid vocal mistake that you can't edit/fix.
5.) Texting is what girls do these days. I make it easier/more comfortable for them to communicate.
6.) I use it to ensure I correctly, reliably setup all logistics, and minimize mistakes. I don't wonder and think to myself: "Did I say 8 or 8:30?", "it was at this place right?", "did I say one thing but write another?", et cetera.

I reserve phone calls for women that I'm in a relationship with, OR with new girls that I won't be able to see for a week or two. But even in that case, I use Skype, not phones.

 

If she hasn't texted or called you in 72 hours, she's just not that into you. Don't waste your time with her and move on.

 

U said its happening more frequently? Tbh often women want one of two answers to that question. Either ur really into em or ur not lookin for anything serious. Stop with that im open to anything bs. It doesnt work. Maybe someone or a movie gave u the idea it makes it sound like ur an easy going guy or the girl can choose but it doesnt work like that. Be decisive. Want good things and dont be afraid to ask for it. Even if u get rejected , u know clearly what was not on the table and why.


In regards to women ghosting. Look up the psychology of ostracizing. When a woman ostracizes you, seemingly for no good reason, most people dont have the necessary mental tools to deal with that. Hence the need to ask online. the answer to that is very little anyone here says will change that much for a while. U have to be secure in yourself (not egotistical just secure and aware) alternatively u can confront the girl and find out if u did something wrong.

Ima be really honest with u. The assumption is that many women aren't thinking dumb, shallow or crazy thoughts. A lot of em are. Women are picky and will make decisions on things that arent in ur control or actually part of reality. Just last week my gf almost broke up with me for non reasons. 2 days later she even apologized and admitted she gave me flaws I did not have. And my gf is relatively sane compared to most women lol. This isnt me bad talking women btw, i mean evolutionary / psychology wise thats how it is.

Women often do this for control. Who knows how u triggered the need for it but all u can do is improve and move on.

 

This is incredibly common, so don't sweat it. You can always ask for feedback, but don't expect it, and don't necessarily trust it either unless you've known her for a long time.

Feedback from strangers is going to have a lot of noise. Some girls are batshit crazy, some of them are not crazy but still have wierd emotional baggage, some of them are drama queens ready to berate you for this that or the other thing, some of them are normal but don't really know you (and may modify/lie about their feedback accordingly).

Plus, few girls are even able to tell you what you *should* have done in order to get into a relationship with them. For example... If a salesman fails at selling you a car, then he calls you later and asks "how could I have sold you that car at the price I wanted?" then what are you going to say? Well, you don't live in the world where he sold you the car, so you can only guess.

Some women's tastes are so personal (maybe she doesn't like beards, pointy elbows, liberals, chubbiness, skinniness, too many muscles, who knows) that it's silly to try and accomodate to it. You could accommodate, and then have that backfire when the next woman with the opposite taste comes along. None of these things are "wrong", they just "are".

Dating girls is NOT a competition. Sure, it is gratifying to date and have sex, but you haven't *won* anything from it. Well...maybe you can think of it as winning, but you have to be super detailed and comprehensive in what "winning" means, which goes way beyond notchcounts or girlfriends.

From a personality standpoint I recommend working from the inside-side out: Figure out your mission and goals first, and put them as your primary objective. Talk to tons of people to enhance social skills, see a therapist if needed to check behavior and such. And of course: NoFap.

From a physical standpoint I recommend: Finding your sartorial style, getting/staying in decent (not perfect) shape, shower before dates.

From a "gaming" standpoint: Provide very specific scenarios to other seducers, ask them how they would respond (don't tell them how it worked out for you yet) and see what *they* would have done. Then you can say how it worked out, and compare what they would do versus what you did.

 

i am a girl. did she stop texting or replying you?

 

Hi,

I lived a similar situation lately, except I was already invested deep with this girl: we met through a student association and spent 2 weeks during the holidays "studying" together in the empty offices of that association. No sex, just cuddle and talk and kissing... it was fine, but I got attached and was wanting more. Then courses started again and she completely ghosted me out of her life. We continued to see each other in the association, but she wasn't speaking to me any more than to the other guys of the team.

So I did the mistake of confronting her on that. I see it was a mistake now, but only because I did it, I learned from it... Needless to say it ended bad.
First she told me she needed time and space. So I gave that to her, and she took plenty...
Then she told me that it would not work out, that she liked me but was afraid of getting attached to me... well I already was, so I didn't understand.
Finally, after my insistence, erratic behaviour, not knowing how to handle this between us, she told me that we had never been "together" and that I had to let it go.

Anyways, all that to say that confronting her on the matter will most likely make you feel like the one that is attached, dependant on her and thus needy... even if it's not the case. My advice would be to move on, let her come back or go away if she wants.

Don't run after her, 'cause that's what she's probably testing unconsciously... maybe she thinks she doesn't like you, but when she sees you're not chasing her, suddenly gets attracted to you again... who knows...

Hope it helped ^^' o/

 

Well I am not always wanting people to call or text me everyday but If I haven't heard from say a girl I am wanting to know better . I follow a simple plan I wait a few days then I reach out in a phone call if I don't here back in say 3-4 days I might send a text if they don't respond I DELETE THERE NUMBER MOVE ON during those days that I am giving them time to call or text I am out talking to people who my be serious and not into playing childish games.

 

Ghosting is a clear statement that the person is not interested. I wouldn't waste a single text message on a ghost. I've been on both sides of the coin and it's a rude yet very clear statement, But don't take it personal. Just move on and find someone else.

 

“Some girls would even have the nerve to hit them up a couple months later.“

This is a great opportunity to give them another chance, don’t ruin it by burning the bridge or being bitter.

 

Great advices! Seems like you have a considerable experience getting ghosted and play by the book. It just happened to me for the first time, although I hear it's an epidemic, and left me a bit disoriented, because it came out of nowhere, when I was under impression this was going to be a long, serious relationship. All your advices are valid, but I made a mistake of not recognizing what's happening soon enough, and reached out with a few texts the following week. Those texts didn't really warrant a response if she didn't want to respond, and weren't overly sentimental. I know that ED/Reboot issues played a huge role in this, so wondering if you think there is any chance of reviving that in any way, or should I just cut my losses? She was obviously a special one since I'm still thinking about her, but I do have a bad aftertaste following this whole experience, so not even sure I want her back now. It was just so abrupt and unexpected...

 

I think ED/reboot is a veg minor role. The major role is simply stong desire mixed with over-expectations.

You can wait a few weeks to prove you’re not going to incessantly pester/stalk her, then ping her with something totally unrelated to dating. Preferably something funny that she reminds you of. If she bites, then you can restart. I rarely bother doing this, maybe 2% of the time I’ll give it a shot.

If she texts you within those few weeks, you’re good to go of course.

If nothing, move onward.

 

I would listen to:

This guy, he's talking sense. Advice can only come in generalisations not Universals but generally, going so serious so soon will likely scare her or creep her out. At least it'll put her in a situation where she will see only two options: ignore you or try to let you down gently (which will nonetheless make you feel crappy)
It's nothing to do with abstinence but don't pin your hopes too much on one person, even if she's great, until you're further in and she's starting to ask you about being exclusive etc.
Try to adopt a mentality of abundance and remember that you're a great person with a lot to offer and if she ain't the right one to appreciate it, then her going her own way is taking you one step closer to finding the one who does.