How do you even have a one night stand?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by fellowBrother, Nov 13, 2018.

  1. fellowBrother

    fellowBrother Fapstronaut

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    Okay so I have no actual intention of having sex before marriage, but I like to "feel" like I can. I have many girls who are friends, but as soon as i think of them in a sexual way I get socially retarded; like I stutter, and anxiety is beyond horrible. They usually see this, and look at me like a retard. How the heck do guys just have one night stands? Do you completely keep your mind off sex until the actual act? Or is my addiction whats causing this? I am a stud until i think about sex, it's so weird.
     
  2. djmotion

    djmotion Fapstronaut

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    Well when I have one night stands I tend to be flirting with the girl for a while then meet then fuck then move on to the next girl but it's a big issue for me at the moment and is one of the things I'm trying to quit. I don't think we keep our minds off sex cause we are trying to get it but guys who have one night stands tend to think about sex with the girl until they get it then start thinking about another girl.

    It's just nerves that is changing the way you act and porn addicts do tend to be more nervous around girls or people in general to be honest. I hear that people who have fully quit become more confident with people or speaking to girls but I've only gone a max of 17 days so far so I have no experience with it. Best not to have one night stands anyway so keep doing what you're doing and wait for marriage.
     
  3. MrNewday

    MrNewday Fapstronaut

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    Hi Brother,

    I think it’s normal to want to feel sexually attractive, and to enjoy it when we do. I certainly experienced that for a long time while working in bars, enjoying compliments from drunk women and flirting outrageously with them (which I’m told was terrrible for my work ethic). The truth of this is I was desperate to feel wanted, when I felt so insufficient. I felt ugly. I felt rejected. But, when I had women touching my arms and telling me I was handsome, I was a stud.

    As time went by, my nerves decreased and my ‘skills’ got better. I’d got better at meeting girls, attracting them, and sleeping with them. It didn’t make me feel better though. It’s highly damaging, unrewarding behaviour. Sex is exciting, and normally feels great- just like PMO did at first. I’m sure everyone on this site knows how damaging that can be, however, and casual sex is no different.

    Your choices are your own @fellowBrother, but just as the normalisation of porn consumption hides the damaging nature of addiction, so to is the glamorous appearance of the ONS. If you ever want to talk more or share, message me any time
     
  4. fellowBrother

    fellowBrother Fapstronaut

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    Hey thank you for the advice. You are very correct and wise
     
    MrNewday likes this.

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