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How do i get my boyfriend to take care of my needs while he is flatlinging?

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by Deleted Account, Nov 14, 2017.

  1. he is only doing No PMO and that's pretty much his plan. What kind of reboot plans are there other than NoFAP?
     
  2. Queen_Of_Hearts_13

    Queen_Of_Hearts_13 Fapstronaut

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    @Angelus6698 Giving up PMO is just the beginning steps of recovery. Once PMO is out of his life, he needs to figure out why he got addicted, identify triggers, come up with ways to work through his urges, regain a sense of life (i.e. get back into positive hobbies), etc.

    For instance, my husband gave up PMO. Got into therapy (addressed root causes of addiction which went back to his parents divorce. He figured out his mom is his biggest trigger). Read up on addiction. Figured out his triggers (which are emotional states). Came up with ways to get through urges (like reaching out to me or a friend, or getting away from electronics, going for walks, drawing, etc.) We are doing couples books right now. He got back into hobbies, like working on his car, drawing, playing guitar. He gave up negative things in his life like excessive gaming, or any other avoidant/escapism behaviors. Started focusing on school more (and now is a straight A student, whereas during PMO he failed out of college). So making positive life changes that make staying in recovery possible.

    There are many ways to go about recovery, it's really about figuring out what works for the individual.
     
    Deleted Account, anewhope and Kenzi like this.
  3. He's actually already doing all that. He has started to work out much more and he has actually set up a goal for himself to get to a certain weight and train and is he is finishing his master degree this year. So those are positive things. We spend almost all our time together and we get along so well the only issue really is his lack of showing intimacy to me the way I want him to do it.
     
  4. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    Our plan is in my signature.
    But and again... I'm blunt.
    ... Men going through reboot it's advised that they do not have "man caves" or aren't allowed alone in them until after reboot (IE two hours shut off alone) because of the porn risk.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.

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