How did your submission fantasies stop ?

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Joe92, Mar 24, 2019.

  1. Joe92

    Joe92 Fapstronaut

    Hello brothers,

    Yesterday, I asked on my profile if there are stories of men who had submission fantasies that has gone away. I'm currently having some, and I'm questioning myself about this. I thought it is a rather common thing to experience and that I could have more testimonies making a topic on this forum.

    I haven't always had these submission fantasies. However, I escalated to this kind of porn after long porn use. I don't use porn for about 100 days (just 1 relapse) now, but these times I have some of these fantasies by myself. Though, I feel like I don't really experience pleasure with it, only a quick relief of anxiety. I think I'd not like it in real life.

    For I think these are linked with the fact that I currently don't feel comfortable in my manhood (no stability, work, sense of being a protective figure, money issues...), I'd be interested in hearing some of your stories about these and how you stopped having this kind of fantasies, if you had.
     
    Last edited: Mar 24, 2019
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  2. Freddiefox

    Freddiefox Fapstronaut

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    I don't think that occasional fantasy popping into your mind ever completely disappears. What does happen, over a time of staying away from porn, is these things start to fade as our mind gets back to our normal. The genre has less of a hold on you and your tastes can even recede to what they were before. In time your mind, being stronger and more stable is able to handle these random things that pop in better and sort of brush them off and move on to something else.
     
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  3. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    When I am fantasizing, I open my eyes and look around my empty room so I return to reality.
     
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  4. Joe92

    Joe92 Fapstronaut

    Actually, I wasn't talking about NoFap challenge and how to deal with fantasies or urges.

    I think the nature of fantasies are directly linked to unconscious forces that we have to deal with, and that it can change. That's why I'm asking if some had SUBMISSION fantasies for a while and then it disappeared. I'm wondering what changed in their lifestyle or psyche for this change to happen.
     
  5. AncestralWarrior

    AncestralWarrior Fapstronaut

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    The fantasies are still creeping around my head, but crushing it at the gym and making social moves keeps my head in the game. What's your MBTI? See what activities might help you and boost your productivity.
     
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  6. Joe92

    Joe92 Fapstronaut

    I don't know what MBTI is
     
  7. AncestralWarrior

    AncestralWarrior Fapstronaut

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    Ohhh, here we go. It's essentially a scientifically-backed approach to personality types. MBTI determines that every person belongs to one of the 16 personalities. You find out what is your MBTI and discover some stuff about yourself.

    https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test
     
  8. Joe92

    Joe92 Fapstronaut

    Nice ! I am a Mediator according to the test ;)
     
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  9. AncestralWarrior

    AncestralWarrior Fapstronaut

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    INFP? Neat. Now go read about it and see what you can make of it. MBTI has changed my life and gave me clarity.
     
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  10. Septimus

    Septimus Fapstronaut

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    I have had fantasies of being dominated for many years, and of course, in connection with porn, I fed that fantasy in many ways. Having spent the past two years gaining greater freedom from porn and fantasy, I can say that these fantasies still have their attraction, but they don't govern my life the way they used to.

    To answer your question -- namely, how did I get away from them -- I would cite two things. First, simply staying away from porn and erotic stories made a huge difference. Second, one of things I have done is to take time to analyze just what these fantasies mean to me. The more I think about what lies behind them, the less power they have over me.
     
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  11. Joe92

    Joe92 Fapstronaut

    Thank you ! I'll take a look at it.

    Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm actually working on it in therapy and I feel I've already gained power on it. Admitting to myself that it has its attraction on me was quite hard to do, but it helps a lot. I feel there is a lot of things that can explain the resurgence of such fantasies : our family patterns, our place in the hierarchy, self-esteem, ways to deal with guilt and shame etc, etc...
     

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