How damaging is fantasy to recovery?

Yes dude I have the exact same thing. This is my theory. If I fantasize during the day I find it sets me back but there is this weird thing in my recovery that whenever I go to bed I am sort of in a half sleep where my mind starts fantasizing in an almost unconscious state and my libido starts to lift up and I get horny. I actually find that this half sleep fantasizing feels quite healing for my brain like it is re wiring and typically those sexual thoughts feel more natural and healthy. I'm not fantasizing about a screen but it feels rather like a natural fantasy which i believe is actually really healing, at least it feels that way. Porn image fantasizing is definitely bad though.

 

All i know is that i have consciously and sub consciously had sexual fantasies all throughout my previous reboots to some degree. And regardless of what i was thinking the healing process remains the same. Around 64 days I feel like I am more a less healed. Morning wood back, harder erections, less trouble with ED etc... It does feel like re-wiring. Because you are not acting on your thoughts. No PMO so it is a lot closer to how its supposed to be. You see someone you are attracted to you think about them a lot. What you would do if you were together. This makes you horny and turned on. And if you are lucky and you have your anxiety under control maybe you will talk to this person and it leads to something real.

 

Hmm... it's a tricky question. If I were to make an educated guess, I'd say that fantasizing to porn imagery only strengthens those neural pathways that you're trying to get rid of. The more you fantasize, the more those pathways are strengthened (or maintained).

I've been very successful in using mindfulness techniques to curb my urges (though I'm only at a week so far, YMMV). Whenever I realize that I'm fantasizing, I simply notice and sort of non-verbally acknowledge what I'm doing. I've found that simply noticing can split some of my brain's energy into two separate thoughts, which gives me back some control.

 

don't forget that at least some degree of sexual fantasy is natural. no one can get rid of it forever. as long as you try not to think about it for too long you should be fine