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Honesty, disclosure, and openness.

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Deleted Account, Jun 11, 2017.

  1. My BF rarely says what's bothering him or voluntarily admits his wrongdoing at first, especially what he considers "shameful behaviors". Often I have to drag it out of him *by force*. When I want my BF to talk, I basically have to have some kind of an ultimatum ready to serve, otherwise I won't hear anything of any substance. He just offers such obvious, vague answers, that I could have easily answered them myself... with more openness and honesty at that. He admits or changes ONLY if or when he realizes he has no other option, it seems.
    I am tired of constantly having to ask for details of his addiction, be it the current state of his progress, or the past happenings. I fear he is not taking my ultimatums very seriously, because it seems I learn new stuff every time I ask, and often the new information is proof that he lied in the past. I guess he doesn't know me well enough. When I say "This is the last time you get away with making me feel like this", I really mean it! I am tired of trauma, betrayal, lies, hiding, cowardice. I want to live with a MAN, not a scared little boy.
    I realize his behaviors may be due to some unresolved childhood trauma of his own, but he won't even try to help himself there. Every resolution he makes seems to take ages to take root. He procrastinates with every aspect of his life, including the healing of his PA. For now I believe his counter is what it says, but the healing needs to be much deeper than just not watching P. That's a first step and I command him on that. The honesty, courage, openness - that is a lot of work, and for now he is not doing enough of it, in my opinion.
     
  2. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    This sounds like my partner. I practically have to lose my mind before he will do anything! I ask nicely many times but he does not hear me. It's like he tunes out anything negative and he too had childhood issues. I get a lot of vague answers and I don't know. I often times think I need to follow through and walk away. I would encourage him to read some posts from men on here whose wives did leave and how they wish now they could fix it.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.

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