Homosexual thoughts only when watching porn

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by ricardoquaresma, Jul 5, 2018.

  1. ricardoquaresma

    ricardoquaresma New Fapstronaut

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    I'm a 25 years old male. When I watch porn, I mostly desire men in these films, I think of myself as the women in these porns. But it happens only when I watch porn, in real life I'm completely heterosexual. I guess I subconsciously accept the weakness and submissiveness in me when watching this films, maybe it's an escape from difficulties and responsibilities in real life.

    However, I don't watch any gay porn, I watch only heterosexual porn which contains dominant men, but I dream myself as a woman in them. But I don't like watching gay porn. And when I ejeculate, I regret what I have done, and continue my daily life as a heterosexual man.

    I didn't have any homosexual experiment. And, I haven't been attracted any men in real life.

    I suspect this feelings are because of watching porn. Of course I desire men in porn and that means I'm bicurious at least, but I didn't desire any men in real life, and I don't like watching gay porn. What do you think, I didn't desire any men in real life because of I'm not actually bisexual and it's only damage from porn OR I'm not attracted men in real life because I deny my bicurious identity, I'm obsessed in this subject so I resist my urges for men in real life?


    I'm starting no porn adventure nowadays by the way. Also I've found a tiring job and I'm going to start in after 1-2 weeks, I will go to gym, read and socialize more than now, so I will try to be busy with real things.
     
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  2. ak47_uk

    ak47_uk Fapstronaut

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    First things first, you need to stop watching this filth. As its warping your mind so much that your even thinking about having sex with a guy. I think take a step at a time and the first thing would be to reboot
     
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  3. Hi Ricardo,

    To me it sounds like it's very likely to be P-related. I'd say give the no pmo a very good and deditaced try and see where it takes you.

    When we masturbate, in a way we have sex with the same sex as it is only us there. This combined with porn can create a lot of confusion and fantasy, I think. And it is good that you've caught and realized this now, because you can do something about it and limit it.

    I think you have a great idea to really see what's going on there. Besides more external activities, I would also advise you to think of some internal
    activities: meditate, observe and try to understand what is happening in your thoughts, feelings and emotions. Basically, try to really understand what leads you to pmo, what thoughts and patterns are at work.

    And then also see if those thoughts and images show up during the day. Don't be obsessed by searching for them (or stressed for having them), but pay attention to yourself, how you are, what you are doing and why you are doing it. In a natural but focused way.

    I think we can get into this mess ultimately because we go along the flow and don't question ourselves. So, ultimately knowledge and discipline can get you out of it. But do give it a good try. I think it's great that you've spotted it.

    Wish you all the best!
    Pau
     
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  4. Well this may just be damage from porn because you say you only feel this way when you watch porn, and male porn stars are mostly cast with the same features. Good looking, muscular, defined, abs, etc.

    I have had the same outlook in a way, so I’ll share my experiences. I never really had a homosexual urge or desire to be with a guy when I was younger and in high school, and I know that I did not watch gay/trans porn until later after I had homosexual experiences in real life. I’m not saying “go out and get with a guy and see what happens”, but if you have no desire to seek out being with a guy in real life then your fantasies should not subject you to a label. When I had those experiences with guys and transpeople it was more of a lust and sexual urge of release, never feeling my heart was into and would be afterwards.

    I would say your bicurious. If you were bisexual you would want to push your limits in real life and have no problem doing so if the moment we’re to arise. If you do not like the way these feelings are having an effect on you, then stop watching porn altogether and the thoughts will go away.

    Although there is absolutely nothing wrong with homosexuality.
     
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