Hey Guys I had 2 sessions with my therapist, he diagnosist me with HOCD. I have it since 9 Months now. My porn history started with Soft Porn and naked girls, than feet and at least i escalated to cuckold, tranny, incest and a kind of Bi porn. My HOCD ( if it is hocd ) all started with a Video i saw only, where a sexual expert tell that cuckolds are gay or bi. Then i questioning myself am i gay? And analyse my whole past for evidence i am gay. I masturbated to gay pictures and gay porn and compared with straight porn. I always get a hard on if i watch straight/lesbian porn or naked women. At the gay porns the most time i didnt get hard and i dont feel aroused. But there are few times i came very hard and was really aroused. I also dont think that i suppress my arousel or something, because everytime i check myself i try to get a hard on, no matter if i see women or men. Because i dont want to lie myself. If i closed my eyes and fantasize about sex with a women to kiss her and f*ck her i get hard, but with a men this fantasize makes nothing for me. I dont know what this all means. I also read something about the 2D:4D Ratio and i have a high digit ratio, what means i am gay. This could be true but there is a voice in my head that tells me you only like girls. Someday i think and tell me yeah you are gay, but there is the voice that say i am straight. I get really aroused by women. At the mans only a few times and then comes the anxiety again and i test myself. I dont know if this is hocd or denial. The Fact that i always get a hard one on girls, dreaming about them, had crushes on girls, the voice in my head and heart show me that i like women. But the fact that i have been aroused few times at the gay porn, my digit ratio, since this all started i look at boys on the street or naked breasts of boys in the restroom or in sport to see if i like it, makes me great anxiety about my sexuality. PS: I am 20 years old and english is not my narrative language, so i am sry if my grammar is that bad it looks like.