HOCD - it really helps if you quit this porn shit

Hi guys.

I haven't been here for a while. But during my HOCD, that took my sth like 5 years of my life I used to seek for a words of support and hope and now I think I can bring some to you. On my personal example. And I think that somehow I owe you this.

I don't want to make another very long story. Anyway, when I was 23 something started to change, like it was hard for me to be turn on by girls in real life, only porn was still doing it for me. Harder and harder types of porn. After time HOCD thing started. Remember, if you are looking for hardcore types of porn, for a heterosexual guy gay porn is something like totally "hard", "weird" and stuff like this. And this is what your brain could enjoy when being bored by years of other "lighter" stuff.

Anyway, few months ago I finally managed to quit porn for three months. It felt better, HOCD stuff was fading, although not deleted from my brain totally. Than in a stressful peroid, for perhaps a month porn came back and almost imidiatelly HOCD stuff was back there, pretty much as strong as before. But now again I didn't watch porn for like 2 or 3 months and it feels much better. I dont have strange urges, pannic attacks that I want to kiss another guy, have sex or stuff. Or at least I have much much less of these. I more find it kind of funny or sometimes I am angry with myself that I brought my brain to this point so now I must "repair" it.

Well, this shit ruined 5 years of my life creating so called HOCD but actually it did shit to bigger part of my life, as I started to watch porn when I was 14. I don't really belive that in 5 years or so I will feel totally pure, with crazy sexdrive for girls like when I was 16. But I totally belive I will be good, with no shit in my head. Having great sex with my beautiful girlfriend and simply be happy with this.

Also, I dont know if this case is applyable for all you here stuggling with HOCD. Stories may be different, as we all are. This one is mine and now I see clearly what kind of crap is porn. Should be banned as drugs, simply.

Be strong guys and quit this shit because it is worth it.

All best for you,

 

It kinda complicated neurosis stuff but in simple words - the state of mind where a guy (can be lady also) who always was straight suddenly feels and fears of "turning" gay. And it can really ruin nice part of somebodys life, anybody who has been there can admit it.