Hi there, I`m rebooting!

Hello everyone! My name is Chris. I`m 20 yo. Aviation student. A shitload of studying all the time I want to stop PMO`ing. Recently I`ve lasted around 6 or seven weeks. Then a relapse and. Few more days off and so on. So today I`m starting new streak that will last forever I hope. If you`d ask why, what is my motivation... I`d say is pretty ugly habit. I don`t want to be involved with that. Many reasons. Too many to write about them now. One for sure is that I`m definetly feeling better while om off my habit rebooting. I`ve experienced that recently as i wrote up there. But at least till now there always was some trigger stronger then my power of will to make me relapse. I hope it was the last time. Wish me best of luck and maybe write some of your own tips. Looking forward to participate in this group. Love the way we call ourselves Fapstronauts xD brilliant

 

Welcome to nofap and good luck. By the way, 6 or 7 weeks is pretty good, nice job

 

Yeah it was nice. It felt great and i was almost sure that It`s gonna be easy to continue. Actually when i decided to quit this habit at first it was bit easier then I thought it should be. Maybe becouse I really set my will power at it for real. Or I wonder if this is normal that It was easy. I didn`t felt very much lust to PMO at the beggining. I`ve got triggered from time to time but I could handle It. Till one night. Anyway it`s a new start all over. As for these three days that are passing to me it seems easy once again. I hope that i would get a bit longer reboot now. And for sure after that I would like to handle the triggers from time to time. I guess You all know that feeling you get when you`re triggered. It`s like You think how pleasent it will be to PMO just once. How do You handle that. I would take some advices becouse i know it`s gonna happen quite a lot during that reboot.
I have one more thought. During christmas when I was with family at the table the talk went from singing christmas songs to quitting smoking... And my uncle said something that hit me. He quit smoking 7 years ago. He said that he still sometimes gets a thought of how nice it would be to smoke a cigarette. It`s the habit like everyone. If You quit a long time ago do You still get that?

 

It doesn`t seem normal to avoid that that`s the way today`s world is made. I don`t think that TV ads or something like that is a trigger. It`s rather a lack of self control. During my streak recently It wasn`t a problem. It would be weird if we tried to avoid watching ads. Or what about movies or TV series. It`s normal to watch them. As long as You don`t persue any desires that this image wakes in You.
Right now I`m once again feelin like it`s easy. While I`ve made my call to stop PMO, have some will and desire to quit that habit, and a lot of studying to focus on, rebooting goes really smoothly The hard part is going to keep myself aware of my goal, and to stay strong when I`ll forget about It and get triggered.

 

I see there's nothing going on. Maybe this thread is boring and no one want's to post here or maybe I should. So i keep going. I have a lot of studying now. Lots of exams in near future. I stopped using netflix but It didn't keep me out of wasting my time by scrolling Fb or insta haha I guess I`m only determined when the deadline is close. I`m going to change that. Good thing that I'm holding on to rebooting program I`ve had a few triggers and thoughts that I could use some PMO, but It wasn`t anything strong enough to put me on the verge of relapsing. I`m good, positive. I hope it will stay like that. I have to study more and i need to improve on managing my time. Anyway It`s great that I`m not wasting my time for PMO It's a big plus.

 

Did a relapse around three days ago so I`m setting my mind to start a new streak. It`s a bit pity. I thought that one wa going to be the last. My one more problem is that when I relapse I do it many times before I decide to quit. And once more it was the same. Wish me luck. I`ve got to think about it and learn something from it!

 

1 day. Today I was at the university almost all day, then I studied. So no any particular thoughts on my habit. I`m gonna get some good night sleep becouse I`m tired. Yesterday I watched some videos from Universal men on YouTube. I can recommand that. I`m gonna use his Reboot regimen pdf. I think that can bring some changes into my life. I would try to write down maybe more about my reboot journey. Stay tuned and feel free to reply here. Nice to have your support.

 

Today wasn`t as much productive as I would like, but it was good anyway. I had one trigger I started thinking about porn. But i realised fast that It wasn`t what I wanted. It was my emotions. I think that`s the way to last clean for a long time. To be selfaware. I hope tomorrow i would learn something more! I hope You too are doing great. Any fapstronaut who reads, feel free to leave your post in here! I`d try to write anything down once a day so it gets to be a real journal.

 

Ok,I relapsed shortly after. Didn't manage next trigger.

 

It`s unbelieveable how the mind seems to turn off when I`m triggered. Thath`s the thing to work on. How not to let myself get driven by emotions and sexual desires

 

I want to leave here some of my motivations of why i want to quit porn. Today reminded me of how serious this habit is. I realised that the urge to PMO is turning my brain off. It`s really like being a drug addict.

One more thing is that I cant believe what shit I`m able to watch. I mean these girls must suffer the time they`re filming this. It`s not plesure and love but mostly pain. Even when the girl shouts "Yess! Don`t stop!" they`re feeling pain. I`m ashamed I watched that. There was a time I wouldn`t even glance at porn of any kind. I was even avoiding any kind of lingerie ads that used to show up while surfing the web. It made me think "ohh, something`s wrong with my adblock." And now I`m at the point when i masturbate to "rough fuck by bbc videos". I started to watch porn really late. I was 18. Before that i felt like it was a real shit. I avoided that. But with the time being I was more and more curious. It started with edging. Watching some "hot pics". Then nudes, and then trying to watch some real porn. I was amazed. Wanted more. I thought i would try to masturbate without an O. Then I got into PMO. And here I`m about two years later.
This habit makes me feel like I`m doing something that`s terryfing in my moral view. More about supporting the whole porn industry. There might be many abuses, sex trafficing. And I`m giving my demand for that becouse I`m watching porn. All these girls, no matter what`s the reason they`re doing that. It`s a tragedy that they`re in this buisness. The fact of using it... It`s egoistic, it pulls me out from God, it makes me waste a lot of my time. It`s a escape from my responsibilities.
I want to quit this habit, and not only that. I want to change my life. Start living it the way I would admire myself. Don`t get me wrong, not all of my life is rubbish, but some things i really don`t like. Porn, poor productivity, unconsistency... These are qualities I would like to change. So I could tell that I`m really living the life 100% the way I admire. And I know It`s always gonna be a process. But It starts today. And I wanted to remind myself these few things. I want to be a man who avoids porn as if it was burning (in some way it is). So that`s one thing actually more about making things the way they were about two years ago. And one more thing is to make some positive changes in the way I`m living my life. Becouse many days If I were someone else just looking at the guy exactly like me I would probably think "what a lazy piece of sh**! He`s capable of more then He`s making of his life". And I want to change that.

 

I thought that It was more then just two days, but yes. It`s only two. I regret my relapses. It reminds me of the streak of around 45 days I had in november. If not that relapse maybe It all would be different. And this thougt anyway is kind of positive. Becouse it can motivate me to keep going. And I`m sure this time when I`d reach that point. I would keep that in mind and keep going. I guess my 90 days will be during spring, so it`s a nice time to make some changes in life. I just imagine that till the time I`ll complete my reboot there will be many more things turning around in the right direction. I won`t have as much styduing as I have right now so it would be easier to develop myself in any way! Actually I have my last exam in around two weeks. The next stage of my engineering studies would be easier. Now it`s really a lot of studying so keep your fingers crossed for me to pass my exams! Best regards! Don`t ever give up

 

Today I feel a lot of stress. I have another exam day after tomorrow. I`m still waiting for the results of the one I`ve taken on monday. I`m glad that I wrote these posts above. It`s a reminder of why I have to keep going. Today I`ts really hard to focus and I have to study. I`ll give my best to change that.

 

It starts to be weird to write these posts when no one responds. Feel free to give me feedback if You have any advice.

Feeling some urges from time to time. But I`m able to see them as result of the stressful time I`m having. I know that I don`t want to get back to PMO. When I feel trigerred usually I`m able to do some self talk and let the sexual desire go. I hope it stays this way.


I know this time will pass in few days and any kind of selfdevelopment will be easier. Right now I`m trying to give my best at studying. Which doesn`t go as planned. It`s damn hard to focus and keep going on one task for a longer time. I hope that tomorrow I`ll be lucky to pass the one I`m taking. And lets hope that I`d be able to stay sharp on studying for the last one that I`m about to take on monday. Keep Your fingers crossed.