Hi! I'm definitely a sloth, and I'm finally admitting that I'm addicted to porn.

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Definitely_A_Sloth, Jan 26, 2019.

  1. Definitely_A_Sloth

    Definitely_A_Sloth New Fapstronaut

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    So yeah, as per the title of this post, I'm definitely 100% totally a sloth. Don't give me that look.

    Anyhow. All joking aside, I created this account quite awhile ago, and then promptly forgot about it. Since then, I've tried to quit porn on my own multiple times, and have each time failed after less than a week. I'd then try again, only to go five more days and then fail. My reasons for wanting to quit are probably nothing incredibly special or unique--I want to have a healthy, normal sexual relationship with my girlfriend. My reasons for failing repeatedly are probably also nothing to special. Boredom is the primary problem I run into, especially on weekends when she doesn't come over (she's finishing her senior year of college and I'm in my first year post graduation).

    Here's a bit about me. I'm a 24 year old software developer in the shipping/trucking industry who works on developing custom applications. I'm a nerd who plays quite a bit of D&D, Magic: the Gathering, and various PC games. Currently, I'm working on attempting to lose some weight to help me with body image issues that I struggle with. I have the greatest, most understanding and patient girlfriend in the history of the world, and I really want to do right by her and work through my addiction to porn.

    I won't be doing a hard mode reboot or anything, as I do still plan on being intimate with my girlfriend. That being said, my first goal is a simple one: 30 days with zero PMO. Once I hit that mark, then I'm going to aim for another full 90 days after that, with the ultimate aim of continuing on past that point.

    Anyhow, if you have any questions for me feel free to ask! I'm just happy to finally be comfortable admitting that I'm struggling, and am ready to seek help and a community where I can receive said help, and help others as well.
     
    Walk_it_out likes this.
  2. Walk_it_out

    Walk_it_out Fapstronaut

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    Nice post man good job..really good for you to admit and reach out like your doing. You know those 5 day streaks are still really good .It's progress and you are trying. As long as you don't stop trying I believe you will succeed bro. I notice momentum starts to build as we go and our streaks get longer and we get stronger. So be encouraged! Keep going and be happy with all your progress because it seems with most people's stories it's a gradual build. Glad your here!
     
    Andy Dufresne likes this.
  3. Retentionman

    Retentionman Fapstronaut

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    Good decision, welcome. My little advice would be, zero excuses, commit fully from day 1. Don't "hope" simply fight to achieve it and be sure about your potential
     
    Walk_it_out and Andy Dufresne like this.
  4. Kcolrehs

    Kcolrehs Fapstronaut

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    Hey @Definitely_A_Sloth!

    Welcome to the forum and congrats on taking the first step, that's always the hardest. It's great to see that you're commited in taking this seriously. All the best to an awesome recovery. Feel free to ask if you've any questions, happy to help!
     
  5. Ra's Al Ghul

    Ra's Al Ghul Fapstronaut

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  6. Andy Dufresne

    Andy Dufresne Fapstronaut

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    Welcome! Joining this forum is a great 1st step. Beating this is about taking responsibility for yourself and control of your life.
    And sometimes you need to admit the problem and ask for help to achieve this. So well done.
    This isn't a linear process, I've had some set backs since joining 3 months ago. And yet I've made so much progress overall since then.
    My advice is to identify all the emotional (boredom, excitement, anger, anxiety, sadness etc) and environmental (time alone, smart phone access, pictures etc) and devise a strategy to deal with each one. Like an anti-porn toolbox you carry round with you. Loads of good materials and suggestions on this site I've found.
    All the best!
     
  7. Aware

    Aware Fapstronaut

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    well congrats on taking the first and most important step. I would suggest that planning to eliminate sex with your girlfriend is a mistake, and is unnecessary . I'm going to suggest a path for you that you might find deepens the relationship you have with your girlfriend (and her with you)

    Porn is the enemy here, not the loving relationship (and yes orgasm) you have with your girlfriend. I've been married for 30years. The process I chose to break my addiction to porn over the last week, has in a matter of days also improved the relationship with my wife.

    so.... with all that....

    Very first step in breaking your addiction to porn is to understand the science/biochemistry, around what is going on in your brain when you get an urge to watch porn.

    The cravings and urges are nothing bad about you, they have nothing to do with you as a person. The urges and cravings are not some outside mystical force. They are well known, well understood, chemical reactions in your brain.

    If you understand the science behind the urges and cravings, then you begin to understand the problem. When you begin to understand a problem you begin to solve the problem

    You sound like a really smart and resourceful guy, so I have an idea. Lets use that exact same science to reverse the process.

    If you are interested, its a two step process

    1) Understand the science behind the urges and cravings of porn addiction
    2) Use your knowledge of that science, and a few simple techniques to manage the urges so they are less intense, less frequent, easier to ignore, and eventually go away all together.

    Again if you are interested, as first part of step #1 (understand the science) I would suggest watching these two 5 min videos, and in the order presented. After that I'd like to hear your thoughts about them. (honestly, I would watch the second over and over until you basically have it memorized, this will be helpful in Step #2)


    If they resonate with you and you'd like to learn how to apply them when the urges/cravings hit (the second video introduces that), then please come back to thread and ask, and I'd be glad to give you step-by-step on whats has worked for me. You can beat this addiction.

    - The urges and cravings are not bad.
    - You are not bad for having the urges and cravings.
    - You need to understand the science behind the urges and cravings and then you can control them vs them controlling you.





     
    Andy Dufresne likes this.
  8. Kingfisher

    Kingfisher Fapstronaut

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    Hey,

    Welcome on this great site.

    Good luck on your journey :).
     
  9. Definitely_A_Sloth

    Definitely_A_Sloth New Fapstronaut

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    Hey, thanks for all the info! I'd definitely be interested in chatting a bit more--I won't be able to watch those videos until I get back to my place later tonight, but I'll be sure to give them a watch when I got back!
     

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