I'm 19 years old and I was raised in a Christian home where masturbating was not accepted. When I was very young I didn't understand it was a bad thing until my mother, just told me to "stop playing with myself." So since then, whenever I'd masturbate I thought I was very very weird and a terrible person for doing it. However, it did keep me from any chance of teenage pregnancies However when I masturbate, I often feel huge anxiety that people will find out I was maturbating. But Porn was definetely NOT something I was doing until I turned 18. I got a little addicted at first, and would keep watching until like 2 or 4 AM, but then I for some reason just decided to stop watching it even though it was really REALLY tempting. And That is weird for me because I have an addictive personality. I guess I stopped watching it early enough though that it hadn't taken it's full hold on me, so I honestly thank God for that, because I know I couldn't have done that on my own. So now, I feel that if I stop masturbating all together for a while, I will have less social anxiety, and I can spend more time on important things like school work , and exercising, and language Learning. I also think this new confidence will help me find a boyfriend, because I haven't dated in 3 years. Although, I am enjoying my free time as a single woman. Sometimes I wonder if I want to date right now even, but that is a whole other story for another time. I don't think masturbating is wrong, (I'm not using the term schlicking because is just awful sounding to me, and slightly triggering.) but I do believe it should take up a very small fraction of my time, and not as much as it does. So my first goal is to go 30 days without. And possibly more time than that if I still feel a huge urge to do it again, and I don't feel recovered. I've been clean since Sunday. Yay! I'm noticing how often I get triggered though, but I just laugh at it, because really, it is a funny situation.