Hi I started on Sunday

Discussion in 'Women in Reboot' started by 19conquer, Oct 24, 2018.

  1. 19conquer

    19conquer Fapstronaut

    I'm 19 years old and I was raised in a Christian home where masturbating was not accepted. When I was very young I didn't understand it was a bad thing until my mother, just told me to "stop playing with myself." So since then, whenever I'd masturbate I thought I was very very weird and a terrible person for doing it. However, it did keep me from any chance of teenage pregnancies

    However when I masturbate, I often feel huge anxiety that people will find out I was maturbating. But Porn was definetely NOT something I was doing until I turned 18. I got a little addicted at first, and would keep watching until like 2 or 4 AM, but then I for some reason just decided to stop watching it even though it was really REALLY tempting. And That is weird for me because I have an addictive personality. I guess I stopped watching it early enough though that it hadn't taken it's full hold on me, so I honestly thank God for that, because I know I couldn't have done that on my own.

    So now, I feel that if I stop masturbating all together for a while, I will have less social anxiety, and I can spend more time on important things like school work , and exercising, and language Learning. I also think this new confidence will help me find a boyfriend, because I haven't dated in 3 years. Although, I am enjoying my free time as a single woman. Sometimes I wonder if I want to date right now even, but that is a whole other story for another time.

    I don't think masturbating is wrong, (I'm not using the term schlicking because is just awful sounding to me, and slightly triggering.) but I do believe it should take up a very small fraction of my time, and not as much as it does. So my first goal is to go 30 days without. And possibly more time than that if I still feel a huge urge to do it again, and I don't feel recovered. I've been clean since Sunday. Yay! I'm noticing how often I get triggered though, but I just laugh at it, because really, it is a funny situation.
     
  2. GhostWriter

    GhostWriter Fapstronaut

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    OK, young lady, answer me this. Just one question. If you wanted to stop, could you successfully stop for at least 90 days without any PMO activity at all? Most of us don't think masturbating is wrong. It just has a propensity to wire our brain in such a way that we become dysfunctional human beings. If it interferes with life, it's a problem.
     
  3. 19conquer

    19conquer Fapstronaut

    Hey, @GhostWriter See, I don't know if I can go 90 days. I've gone 10 days a year ago, but I wasn't signed up with this site, or particularly determined. I don't think I'd struggle terribly with just 90 days, but then again, I've never even tried so I really don't know yet. I haven't had much trouble yet. However I'm not going to get cocky yet since it's only been roughly 3 days Wish me luck!

    And as for the masturbation thing being "wrong" I don't believe it's wrong like I said before, but since I'm currently still living with my parents, I would still subconsciously feel guilty around my entire family because of what she (my mother) taught me, and that translates into my social confidence I think.
     
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  4. GhostWriter

    GhostWriter Fapstronaut

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    So here's the deal. If you think you're not addicted, then 90 days will be no problem at all. If you can go 90 days, then do it and we'll see. But if you are compulsive in any way, you'll do like you said above; go about 10 days before you can't go any further. Make sense? It's not an indictment. It's pointing out whether or not you can actually do without it versus whether you will succumb to it. I certainly hope you can do without it and it isn't a compulsion. I wouldn't wish this addiction on anyone.
    And trust me on this, as a Christian, I know first hand that an overwhelming number of them also masturbate too because they are compulsive in doing it. But the key word you said here is "...guilty..." Make certain you manage the guilt, shame, and embarrassment surrounding your masturbation. It cannot live without empathy. Look up Brene' Brown, and watch some of her videos.

    Last, I want to address your youth. You are at a very crossroad in your addictive behavior in that your frontal lobe isn't fully developed. As such, you have the unique opportunity of a lifetime to nix this and solidify it in your brain such that you are almost guaranteed complete remission with little chance of a relapse. I would love to see you take advantage of this unique opportunity to eradicate it permanently.

    OH, and good luck.
     
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