Hi everyone. I'm new.

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by chadrecovers1, May 17, 2019 at 11:30 PM.

  1. chadrecovers1

    chadrecovers1 Fapstronaut

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    Hi guys. I came here for advice, I'm really sad and frustrated.
    I've been watching porn since I was almost 13 or 14, now I'm 17 and since then, porn has been my only sexual interaction.
    As an expectable situation, my "taste" started becoming more sick though the years, slightly eating my mind and libido.

    I got my first girlfriend 2 months ago and we used to talk a lot about how will it be when we finally had sex.
    Well, that day was today, and I had problems to hold my erection, I barely could penetrate her some minutes, and that involving scratches, injuries and some hard stuff we turn on with, but without it I wouldn't have been capable of nothing. I've heard pornography is a natural erectile dysfunction drug. I want to leave it.
    She says she understands, it was my first time, but I can't avoid feeling really embarrassed.
    Any tips to leaving porn and getting turned on again with a partner?
    How can I start?
    How long will my recovery last?
    Please help me, people. Salutes.
     

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    Last edited by a moderator: May 19, 2019 at 4:36 AM
    Dakshinamurti likes this.
  2. Dakshinamurti

    Dakshinamurti Fapstronaut

    Tips: Educate yourself on the porn industry and how disgusting it really is. It is based on nothing but the propagation of sorrow and hurts everybody involved, from the actresses and actors right through to the users. https://fightthenewdrug.org/ is a great resource for this. https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/ is a great way to learn about what it's doing to your brain.

    The good news is, because you're young, recovery will be relatively swift. Even at age 32, I'm finding the changes happen quite quickly in regards to how I feel about myself and how I am viewing women... I was introduced to porn before I turned 10. It has completely destroyed me, but I'm already feeling a massive shift within myself now that I've identified the core trauma that occurred through being forced into sexua behaviour so young.

    It's an ongoing process though, you have to keep working at it. Aim to completely remove it from your life forever; you really aren't missing anything at all, particularly given that you have a partner. I'm confident as well that soon enough, you'll find that you don't need the rough element to get going; you'll naturally become more fascinated with your girlfriend just for who she is, which is the way it should be.

    You've already started, you've posted here and made a very courageous confession. Imagine how many dudes your age are struggling with this and don't have the strength to seek help.

    Length of time varies; depending on your personal history and the real, underlying reasons behind your porn use. As I say though, given that your brain is still developing until around age 21, if you stop now or reasonably soon, by the time you hit that age you'll be so far above pornography that you'll be completely averse to even the thought of it.

    Take care, keep doing good things!
     
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  3. chadrecovers1

    chadrecovers1 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you so much. Comments like yours is what I need. It's such a blessing having people in their willing to help others in sites like this, I hope I can pass through this soon and being as strong as you.
     
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  4. Sartis

    Sartis Fapstronaut

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    • avoid the opportunity to PMO (this should be your #1 tool)
    • integrate yourself in the NoFap community
    • have something to fight for
    • have something so important to you that it distracts you from your urges
    • get an AP
    • deal with your mental problems
    • undermine thoughts like "just one more time", "PMO is good for you",... (research socratic dialouge). For this you need to know exactly why you want to stop. Write it down.
    • reprogramming exercises (for example write 100 sentences why PMO is bad,...)
    • understand how addictions work
    • exercise & diet (liamrosen.com/fitness.html)
    • keep your hands off your private parts
    • do hardmode. It's easier
    • don't fantasize about PMO or S
    • don't look at girls in public
    • cold showers
    • avoid other forms of sensation overload
    • regular relaxation exercises
    • get friends/family
    • get in touch with nature
    • have routines
     
    chadrecovers1 likes this.
  5. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    Hi @chadrecovers1

    If you haven't already done so, please read the "Getting Started Guide" available on this site's (noFAP) home page. It includes answers to your questions as well as providing helpful advice as you get started on your journey of healing. Also check out the "Glossary" in the toolbar on the top of this page for definitions of abbreviations and terms that may be unfamiliar to you.

    Read, make a plan for your journey focusing on your goals and objectives - the reasons why you are pursuing noPMO (primary one may be to normalize relationships with your gf ...). Whatever your reasons and goals are is fine, as long as they are something you truly believe in and are willing to work hard towards. Writing down goals sometimes helps clarity of thought, so consider writing out your goals. Then think about what you will do to keep your goals fresh in your mind each day - reading your written goals at least twice a day as you get started is a good way to help remind yourself why you are here !

    There are more things, but for now this is enough to get you started. More later. If you have questions or concerns for which you can't find answers here, just post and you'll get replies !

    One day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
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