Hi everybody !!!

Hello everybody i'm glad to meet you.
I'm Bribri. I'm French and I have a porn addiction.
This my first message in this forum. I register few month ago but I decide to talk with the community after my relapse of today. I have a girlfriend she is awesome and she wanted me to do nofap. But at a point we failed in abstinence because of both of us. At the begining we were just kissing but we could'nt stand anymore. Yes. Today when we meet for the weekend we do have sex one time or two. On the week I can stand 5 days. After the first wetdream I always relapse has if it was an habits. It's like if I knew that I will fall. My personal record is 20 days. It was at the begining. When I do fap I'm saying in my head "anyway if it's not today it will be tomorow". I have a strong parental control on my computer and on my phone. But there is a bug that make me watch porn pictures on google image. So now i'm here. I was going better in my life. I know what I want to do later in my life. I do the good studies for that. I quit smoking, I quit drinking. I'm eating healthy (usually i'm vegan and no sugar but my studies obligated me to eat meat and sugar I want to be a cook. Sometimes I culpabilise about that). I'm very messy. My bedroom always go messy. I don't do sport. My next objectives in my life are : Doing my reboot. Be the best at cooking in my class. Overpass my fear of talking to stranger girl. Be ordered. Hang out at night and improve my recovering when i'm sleeping. What should I do ? Boycott sex with my girlfriend ? Sometimes my girlfriend give me preasure because she want me to be an alpha (which is normal !). Sometimes I'm great with her sometimes i'm just a frustrated small guy asking her to act to make me happy. Sex i think is a way to me to keep control of the relationship. I want to stay with her she's great. Intelligent cultivated and beautifull. But i'm affraid that she is addicted to sex (as me, and she say so!). And i'm also affraid she became cold as ice if we stop having sex for month. Should I spend money in a sport club ? Even if I know that it will be hard for me to keep going every week there ? What can I do to not be messy ? ??? Seriously. I always think it's because i'm messy that I can't improve myself. What can I do to not be lazy ? I don't want to relapse again. I don't want to be a beta. I want to be the best vegcook In the world. I want my girlfriend to be proud of me everysecond of her life. I want me to be happy all the time. Nice to meet you guys.

 

Thank you guys ! I have a lot of things to talk but many are not about nofap. Maybe about communication, selfcontrol, assurance, and all that stuff. I'll ask you. Thank you and see you !!