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Hi, 48 yr old newbie

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Scisteve, Feb 16, 2017.

  1. Scisteve

    Scisteve Fapstronaut

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    I am a 48 year old male, using porn for close to 30 years. I know I've reached my "rock bottom" because my wife caught me, again! I have a great job and two wonderful boys, but when my wife said she felt as if I'd betrayed her and she was done and ready to separate, I knew that my actions had gotten to the point that I need to reboot. I have chosen to quit because I now realize the fantasy that I have been living and I want to re-establish a closer relationship with my wife and family. I've done some reading and recently came across NoFap. I'm reading Eckhart Tolle, the Power of Now, to help with my reboot. I am not my brain, I am not my history or my story. I am striving to live in the now and not spend my time obsessed with either the past or the future. I do yoga and I meditate and I've recently started doing Crossfit (to occupy my morning hours with something other than porn. and I do love it, the Crossfit, not the porn). I've spoken with a therapist and I need to heal myself first; my wife, obviously at this point, is dubious of all my actions. I keep telling her I will prove to her my commitment to recovery. I'm just hoping there might be some worthwhile support for someone like me on the NoFap web platform. I don't know what rebooting parameters are, but at this point I've been 26 days "clean", and I don't want to return to my old behaviors.
    Thanks to anyone who will listen...
     
    D . J . likes this.
  2. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    Thank you for sharing your story and welcome to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and not judge you.

    What are your current strategies for combating the enemy called PMO?
     
    Deadlihood likes this.
  3. Scisteve

    Scisteve Fapstronaut

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    I am working to retrain my brain, and "watch" my thoughts as they happen. I've been listening to an audiobook called Breaking the Cycle, by George Collins. He presents a lot of great techniques to retrain and prevent harmful and destructive sub-personalities or "addicts" within my brain from ruling and guiding my behavior. One exercise is to turn on the lights in the ampitheater of my brain to confront my porn-addict sub personality and ask myself "what else can I do?" instead of PMO? I am doing more yoga at home now, instead of sitting in front of the computer.
     
    LakeMichigan likes this.
  4. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    Deadlihood likes this.
  5. LakeMichigan

    LakeMichigan Fapstronaut

    I think you have some solid foundation coming in to this. I encourage you to start a journal here

    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?forums/ages-40.21/

    try to make an entry as often as possible I suggest daily in the beginning and it will give you accountability without judgment and you will gain more skills over a period of time.
     
    D . J . likes this.
  6. Deadlihood

    Deadlihood Fapstronaut

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    Welcome! Good luck...
     

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