Hey,i have 4 questions

I think getting more in tune with your body would help with your depression, try cold shwers, start off with ending your showers with 10 seconds of cold water and build up from there, next day you can do 15 or 20 seconds. no need to force it. but I would recommend increasing it over time and you'll be more in touch with your body.

Meditation is also a huge habit that will do wonders for you. It can be extremly hard at times, if you have a lot of shit to get through it will come up, but remember to breathe and it will pass

I've Fapped since maybe 13-14 so I didn't start as early as you, but I have PIED and I am confident it will be cured. since you were younger when you started it's probably deeper engrained in your brain, but you can become whole again I am sure.

Does this girl live by herself? I would greatly consider moving in to her if she does. you'll get away from the negative environment you're in right now, you could do whatever to get a job in the city with the girl and change your life for the better. Also if she lives with her parents I would still see if I could move in with her just to have a more healthy environment for your growth

If you know she won't make you happy in a relationship I am sure she could become a good friend and a stepping stone to a much better life.

I know how it is to live in a negative environment and no matter how Good you are doing it will still be greatly affected by the people around you. Also you'd probably get a much better relationship with your parents as soon as you move out.

Take a risk, what is there to loose?

Good luck I belive in you!

 

All I can say is good for you for taking the step. It sounds tough, but the bigger the challenge, the bigger the man you will be when you overcome it.

Hopefully more opportunities open up for you as continue on your path.

 

Hey bro!
Do you have friends? I think you're lonely and need friends to talk to. Some times relationships don't work out and you have to just move on. If you're able to work it out with her then that's great, but don't beat yourself up if it fails. Try talking to her about the possibility of moving in with her.
I have been in a situation when I was at home and not going out or meeting people, that had a very negative impact on me. I still don't have friends in and outside of college, so I understand your problem. But try to socialize if possible that will firstly, distract your mind from negative thoughts, secondly, keep you away from your parents, and third, it will give a sense of direction and may even help you find a vacancy somewhere.
I hope my advice was helpful.

 

You are such a beautiful person I've told you many times and I'll tell you again, you deserve much better baby stuff. but you have to go for them, because they will not touch your door, you can, you are a talented and very intelligent man. I love you so much liana

 

My flatline/depression started @ 20 days and ended @ 70 days

Your PE will resolve in time, but will take much longer than 90 days. Rather than think in terms of a number of days, think of it as a life-changing, life-long change in behaviour. After many months, the reboot will happen and you will gain all the benefits so your sexual function will normalize.

 

There's a good vibe in here, so I'll try and keep it running.

First...

I just want you to look at your current streak. 44 days. That is an impressive feat and you should give yourself a pat on the back. You're halfway to 90, and even if you don't magically reboot at 90 days, so what? You'll just keep on going. You've clearly got the willpower to get this far, so you have the willpower to keep on going. Doubly so given the mental anguish your parents sound like they've put you through.

I can't give you a specific time, day and date that these things will cease because there isn't one. One of the things you'll come to learn is that you aren't always going to feel great. Human moods are cyclical. What you will learn however is that these things do not last forever. As someone who dwelled in the pits of depression for a good quarter-century, I didn't think it would end. However, small moves I made improved things for me, and once it came to undertaking NoFap, I could see that even if I did feel crap during a reboot, or even afterwards, I already knew what that felt like, so I could be in it. I'd be depressed, but I wouldn't be 'medicating' with PMO.

However, that's not to say that there aren't guidelines of what others have experienced. Read people's logs, and their success stories, and while you may not have a mirror experience, you should see enough similarities that you can identify in your own journey.

This one I can respond to with a resounding YES! Again, I can't tell you when, but it will be a when and not an if. Sure, you've been fapping for a while, but you're still young and your body and mind can heal from the damage it has undergone. You may have times in the future when you might experience PE, but these should become isolated occurrences over time and if you life a healthy life, moreso.

This is a complicated question and I'm unsure exactly how to answer it. If she's not making you happy, you've at least acknowledged to yourself that relationship may not have a future. If you're a heterosexual male, you're likely to have cravings for women regardless of whether one is in your life or not. If you want to be by yourself, that's fine too. You can even do it without resorting to porn - you just find yourself a tiny place, earn your bread and spend the rest of the time working whatever it is you want, being it getting jacked, building World War Two dioramas or writing the great West Balkan novel.

If you want a woman in your life, that's possible too. I'll tell you now that if you work on making yourself and better you, the best you, then you'll almost certainly meet other women, other women who love and appreciate you for who you are. I've stayed in too many relationships for too long because a lifetime of rejection told me that I would never find someone else. I was always unhappy in the relationships, but could never leave because it was a woman who wanted to be with me. I settled too often for poor situations where neither of us was doing the other much good, and even the sex was dull at times.

So I want you to look yourself in the mirror, remember @Sychar's words to you above (she's good people), and understand that you're worth being you.

Okay?

You've got this.

 

I will consider this benchmark. Everyone is different but it is nice to have a map of the terrain.

 

I'm at 57 days and still hurting. It takes willpower to change, but everything you want to change, you can. Nobody says it will be easy! I got divorced after I came home early and found my wife with someone else. I found my soulmate during the divorce proceedings. Beauty came out of pain. The girl? Go for it! The job? Go for it.

I am 50 years old and have never, NEVER, found a group of better, more understanding people than here. Not military, nowhere. This forum is absolutely packed with great individuals. Use it!