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Hey everyone advice pls

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by HEYDAR, Mar 6, 2017.

  1. HEYDAR

    HEYDAR Fapstronaut

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    Hi ! I need advice on how to deal with gf when you have so much things to do and lack of time to spent for ur relationship. Well its not that actually . I spent substantial amount of time with my gf but she keeps saying that im not paying attention to her or never looking for her . Really?? (1000 times) ..now it has come to a point where she is just ready to break up and i dont even have a clue what i did..any advice?
     
  2. Dutchman19

    Dutchman19 Fapstronaut

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    It's all about the little things that communicate to her that she is special to you. Making an extra few minutes to simply ask her about her day, and actually engaging in what she talks about. To be fair, some people, male or female, just make drama or are just seemingly hell bent on not being happy. Only you can tell what the case is for your relationship, but I'd start with clear, loving communication
     
    HEYDAR and HopefulChristian like this.
  3. PostiveChange1974

    PostiveChange1974 Fapstronaut

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    So... what my friends and I always say to each other... "Crazy people be Crazy." Another one I love to say to my friends, only one way to win at the game of 'crazy', and that is 'don't play'.

    That is why we 'date', and don't just marry right away. You can care for someone, and it still not work. Do what you can, care, communicate, and if it isn't enough, then it is what it is. In short, you should try, but a relationship should just 'work'. When it doesn't, don't try altering yourself dramatically to make it work. You can make new habits, but you shouldn't have to become someone else to fit a partners idea of a relationship. Sometimes, life's priorities doesn't let us connect.

    There are those that crave intensity. They love 'love'. Not the actual caring for another person, but the intense feeling of connection and the actual idea of romantic, and how giggly bubbly the feeling makes them. They are high maintenance. They will also be ones to create storms of loud and intense arguments, so they can produce both the highs and lows of 'love'. While some do take care of these people and find it rewarding. It's a rough challenge. These are people that feel that they are one step from breaking up, but don't think they could live with that. It's called a co-dependant relationship.

    My best friend is dating a woman. She is 30. She has had some very bad abusive experiences in the past. She wants to be with him every minute. The moment he actually has to go do something different, she gets all pissed and feels like he is only treating it as a temporary relationship. (and threatens to break up, because 'he isn't in it all the way'). In this situation, he can't do more than he is doing. It's her that is insecure, and it is she that is projecting that onto him, instead of dealing. While he is giving his all, there is a very real danger that she will just run him out of steam one day, and he will just stop caring, because it's too much work.

    In a healthy relationship, there needs to be enough space and confidence where each of you can be strong alone (happy), and have your own interests. And then you can come together enjoy together without projecting all kinds of false ideas and needs on each other.

    In any case, it sounds like you are having a hard time. Do only what you can, and take confidence that sometimes it just won't work, and it's not you or her, but life that took your path in different directions.
     
    HEYDAR and HopefulChristian like this.
  4. whoa.
     
  5. HEYDAR

    HEYDAR Fapstronaut

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    Tha
    Thanks man
     
  6. HEYDAR

    HEYDAR Fapstronaut

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    Thats really helpful! I will take into account and i guess thats the only way
     

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