Here I go

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by lichburger44, Apr 20, 2019.

  1. lichburger44

    lichburger44 Fapstronaut

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    Week 1, Day 1:
    I'm 21 years old, in my final year of university. Have never had a sexual experience before, spent my entire high school in the library working hard to get into this dream university of mine. Everyone in high school talked about how easy it was to get action in university and I bought into the fantasy. But when I came here, I realised I had poor social skills and couldn't talk to girls no matter how friendly they were. I got really shy around them and behaved really arrogant to hide this. All my friends were getting action and making fun of me for being the only one who hadn't done it. I turned to porn to take the edge off the fact I was sexually frustrated, lonely and felt worthless - if it was so easy, why was I failing? Things just got worse because the guys began spreading word that I was still a virgin. I couldn't go out with one of them drunkenly laughing about it in public to a girl. My confidence took a huge dive and I began to think I would never have a healthy sexual experience. So porn became a way for me to deal with stress of any kind and I took to abusing it - sometimes I'd skip social events or cut classes short to go back and lock myself in my room for multiple sessions. This just meant I wouldn't get any action going forward - I'd be too anxious to talk to them, and then I'd get made fun of and I'd turn to porn and the cycle would repeat. It's my final year now and I realise now I have a clear case of PIED, and I noticed on previous unsuccessful attempts to reboot my general anxiety went down and I was able to focus better after the first week or so. My social skills are getting better, I'm working on my confidence, I'm learning to ignore the guys who make fun of me for my virginity - I've realised that there are many better things that define you as a person. Understanding this, I want to kick my addiction so I can have healthy relationships and be in a better mental state going forward. Hopefully this thread will keep me accountable and motivated. I'm aiming for a 90 day no PMO and will try to update it where I can.
     
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2019
    RightLane likes this.
  2. drac16

    drac16 Fapstronaut

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    If it makes you feel better, know that I'm 29 and still a virgin. To hell with what the world thinks. I don't let the world dictate when I should have sex; I am the master of my destiny.
     
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  3. RightLane

    RightLane Fapstronaut

    Hey man, welcome to NoFap.

    I'm also a virgin and a college student. I'm just finishing up my first year though. I joined about two months ago, when I was sick and tired of PMO and realized that this was going to ruin my college experience, not to mention my life after college. I'm glad that you found NoFap too, although I wish for you that you found it sooner. I have no doubt you will find your way out of this addiction, as I sense you have found PMO addiction to be ruining of your life. I think in order to kick an addiction, you most always have to come to an end of yourself. I am behind you all the way on this fight to be free.

    I would advise you to log daily here on NoFap. Consistency is key to fighting any addiction, and PMO is no exception. Post daily on a journal here. Post daily on your profile. Also, I would highly recommend joining a challenge. There are 3 day, 30 day, 90 day, etc. challenges, all of which are helpful. Choose one that is challenging and yet achievable. This will help you take your addiction one day at a time. Finally, I would highly advise you to take time to encourage others in this fight. This is extremely helpful for you in your fight, and is also very helpful for others.

    I wish you the best. Fight hard!
     
  4. lichburger44

    lichburger44 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, I appreciate that. You're right, there are greater things that define us than our virginity, and as long as we achieve our own personal goals, we shouldn't care what others think. I've started weightlifting and my goal is to lift a certain amount by the end of this year. NoFap helps free the time to do this. Good luck on your journey
     
    drac16 likes this.
  5. lichburger44

    lichburger44 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your kind words and support. I regret not finding out about NoFap sooner as PMO has caused many negative effects to me, but as the saying goes: 'The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.' I'm still grateful that I managed to find this now while I'm still young and have few responsibilities. So I had better get on this journey now rather than in my 30s, 40s, 50s, etc when I will have more responsibilities. Yes, I think posting more frequently would be a good idea to hold myself accountable, thank you for your suggestion. I have started weightlifting now to fill the gap filled by PMO, hopefully I will make progress. Good luck to you in your fight as well!
     
    RightLane likes this.
  6. lichburger44

    lichburger44 Fapstronaut

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    Week 1 Day 2: Hasn't been easy to quit pmo cold turkey. My mind is so full of dirty thought and in the past I would have locked myself in a room with a laptop and settled the problem. But I can't now. The extent of my addiction is clear - I can't sleep properly at night because of these thoughts, and during the day I can't focus on my work. All I can do is resist. I've tried no PMO before, lasted approximately 3 and a half weeks and I know the first week is always the toughest hurdle. After that, you get better at managing these thoughts because you've started other hobbies to distract you and then the flatline kicks in at some point. During that period, I read many books and went to the gym pretty consistently. I wish I hadn't relapsed, but it gives me hope that if I made it to 3 weeks and filled my time productively in that period, I can make it to the 30,60, 90 day mark this time in the same productive way. Until then, I'm looking forward to the end of this week when things will get easier.
     
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