Here Because of Impotence

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by muterabbit, Feb 13, 2018.

  1. muterabbit

    muterabbit Fapstronaut

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    So I had been single all my life until last August at the age of 32, when my 21-year-old co-worker started texting me late one night, at which point she surprised the hell out of me by revealing that she had basically had a crush on me ever since she started working with me two years ago, despite being with two other guys in that time. I was nervous as hell, but I told her I had been interested in her from the start as well. Neither of us were particularly comfortable talking in person, so we chatted almost entirely through texts.

    I tried a few times to ask her out on a date, but she was never able to work up the nerve to say “yes”. About a month later, way late at night, she sent me a text asking me to pick her up. I thought I was just giving her a ride home, but we wound up talking and making out near the office at her friend’s apartment complex. We kind of beat around the bush about having sex, but eventually we wound up in my bedroom.

    It was a pleasurable experience, but I didn’t exactly lose my virginity, not in the truest sense, anyway. I wasn’t able to become fully erect, and my erection just wasn’t lasting. I reached orgasm from pleasuring her, which was awesome, but I was really disappointed that I wasn’t able to have legitimate sex with her. Not only do I feel like I let her down, but I had been waiting ages to have sex with a woman, and it just didn’t play out the way I had hoped.

    After telling a friend from grade school about my partial impotence, he told me he wanted to meet with me, saying he thought he could help me out with my problem. We met for coffee, and he told me about a video he had seen on YouTube called “why I stopped watching porn”. I had already been looking up all sorts of stuff to help with my partial impotence, but I was feeling skeptical about the whole “NoFap” thing. When my friend told me he had been having the same trouble with his equipment, I thought “Alright, what could it hurt?” It’s probably going to be a long road ahead for me, because I’ve been jacking off to porn like multiple times a day, pretty much ever since I entered puberty about 20 years ago.

    Anyway, I’ll be alone on Valentine’s Day, because my co-worker quietly broke up with me, absolutely no reason given. I also happened to be driving by when she was sitting really close to another guy, probably the same one who smeared her lipstick when she went on her break a week or two later. We’re basically on friendly terms, but it still blows my mind that not too long ago she told me she loved me as we were “having sex”, and now she goes back and forth between being friendly and giving me the cold shoulder. If you just want to be friends, then say it, and I’ll drop any lingering hope of getting back together, which only exists because you didn’t say a damn thing when you broke up with me.
     
  2. Septimus

    Septimus Fapstronaut

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    Welcome, I'm glad you're here. I'm sorry about the break up. If I can help, let me know.
     
  3. muterabbit

    muterabbit Fapstronaut

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    Thank you.
     
  4. Full ahead

    Full ahead Fapstronaut

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    Welcome! There is a lot ahead, lots of good things to come.
     
  5. muterabbit

    muterabbit Fapstronaut

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    Thank you, and I’m certainly hoping for good things.
     
  6. Hey @muterabbit ,

    I'm just a normal ordinary member. No moderator super powers and no special insite. I share my ESH (Experience, Strength and Hope) of what works for me.

    Just another warm welcome and a heart felt hello. This community has helped me so much.

    What worked for me was "working" it. It took hard work for me to complete a hard reboot (No pmo) for 120 days, then move into a Sex Positive mode.

    First, reading the literature published by NoFap itself along with reading journals.

    Then, doing the work. Writing in my journal and replying to introductions and other's journals.

    Finally, but not least, getting involved with the fellowship. I found it on the forums, but also in people's profiles. The forums tend to be longer posts, where the profiles tend to be more "conversational".

    That is what has worked for me. I like to remind myself that this community was here waiting for me with the lights on when I arrived. Now, I have to do my best to be there when someone comes to the community.

    --> L

    PS:

    One of the ways I got involved with the fellowship was by reading some really great journals. Reading other's stories with their victories and even defeats is a big part of my program.

    Once you open a journal, click "Watch Thread" in the upper right of the page to get alerts when new posts are made. Here are just a few:

    @Iron Patience - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/155794/
    ---
    @ludwig525 - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/155658/
    ---
    @Dragonnlife - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/136148/
    ---
    @weddingnails - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/155372/

    There are many more, and you can discover them on your own. But, these are great places to start.
     
  7. muterabbit

    muterabbit Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for the welcome and thank you for the advice.
     

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