Heptapod Journal

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by Heptapod89Fr, Mar 1, 2017.

  1. Heptapod89Fr

    Heptapod89Fr Fapstronaut

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    Day 1 : Wednesday, 1st of March 2017

    I'm starting a hard mode in order to reboot. Big difficulties to find a girlfriend : can't hold eye contact, lack of confidence, not as attracted as I would like to be by beautiful girls and real sex.

    Game status : - ready to start -

    Moreover, I would like to stop smoking. I sometimes smoke one or two cigarets per day.

    And I would like to stop drinking coffee. I feel prisonner of coffee : as if I can't feel fully awake without this beverage. I hate this feeling.

    Today was not a very good day. I played three Starcraft games and this was the best things in my day. But I drank three coffees and felt bad because of that : unable to rest a little in the afternoon and very tired in the evening because the last coffee was at midday. I smoked one cigaret in the evening, because I was bored.

    I didn't feel temptation to masturbate. Good point.

    NoFap : 100% synchronized - Day 1 completed -
    Coffee : 3 cups ; failure
    Cigarets : 1 ; failure

    Tomorrow, I'm going to fight the need of drinking coffee. I want to feel free.
    And I'm going to make a wod at my crossfit box.

    I take this as a game because so do animals to learn how to survive. And nature has a lot to teach us.
     
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2017
    rskater205 likes this.
  2. Heptapod89Fr

    Heptapod89Fr Fapstronaut

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    Day 2 : Thursday, 2nd of March 2017

    I went to sport : I did a wod at my crossfit box. It was hard because of the few cigarets I had smoked since the last wod. But after the wod, I felt happy and in a better form.

    NoFap : 100% synchronized - Day 2 completed
    Coffee : 0 cup - 100% synchronized
    Cigaret : 0 - 100% synchronized
     
  3. Heptapod89Fr

    Heptapod89Fr Fapstronaut

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    Day 3 : Friday, 3rd of March 2017

    In the morning I went jogging during 20mn.

    NoFap : 100% synchronized - Day 3 completed
    Coffee : 0 cup - 100% synchronized
    Cigaret : 0 - 100% synchronized
     
  4. Heptapod89Fr

    Heptapod89Fr Fapstronaut

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    Day 4 : Satursday, 4th of March 2017

    I made several naps during the day.
    In the evening I watched a movie. I spent a good evening.

    NoFap : 100% synchronized - Day 4 completed
    Coffee : 0 cup - 100% synchronized
    Cigaret : 0 - 100% synchronized
     
  5. Heptapod89Fr

    Heptapod89Fr Fapstronaut

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    Day 5 : Sunday, 5th of March 2017

    I spoke to old friends today.
    I meditated during 10 minutes and hesitated to go to the movies, but finally, I didn't go.
    I would like to play more often to the computer but I have motivations problems...

    NoFap : 100% synchronized - Day 5 completed
    Coffee : 0 cup - 100% synchronized
    Cigaret : 0 - 100% synchronized
     
  6. Heptapod89Fr

    Heptapod89Fr Fapstronaut

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    Day 6 : Monday, 6th of March 2017

    I had an appointment at the hospital with a woman psychiatre and a nurse this day. I'm going to have several group therapies until june to speak about well-being when suffering from schizophrenia. In this topic, I haven't written it yet, but I suffer from this illness.

    What I find surprising is that, at this moment when I'm writting this post (on tuesday morning), I think back at the woman psychiatre and I really find her attractive. I think that it would have been impossible if I was still fapping. I'm very happy to feel that. I'm on the good way. :)

    Later on this monday, I saw the friends that I talked to on sunday and it was cool to see them again. But I didn't stayed very long because two of them were smoking in the room and I don't like the smoke. After that, my clothes were smelling a bit bad.

    NoFap : 100% synchronized - Day 6 completed
    Coffee : 0 cup - 100% synchronized
    Cigaret : 0 - 100% synchronized
     
  7. Heptapod89Fr

    Heptapod89Fr Fapstronaut

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    Day 7 : Tuesday, 7th of March 2017

    I wasn't very motivated.
    I went buying some food for my appartment.

    NoFap : 100% synchronized - Day 7 completed
    Coffee : 0 cup - 100% synchronized
    Cigaret : 0 - 100% synchronized
     
  8. Heptapod89Fr

    Heptapod89Fr Fapstronaut

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    Day 0 : Wednesday, 8th of March 2017

    Today I went to the crossfit. It was good.

    Then, this afternoon, I decided to masturbate. So I have to start my reboot. I had this idea that I smoked my last cigaret last wednesday, and that it might have been bad to my semen. So I decided to empty it.

    I'm not sad, because now, this idea is out, and I'm stronger to restart a reboot.

    NoFap : 0% synchronized - Failure
    Coffee : 0 cup - 100% synchronized
    Cigaret : 0 - 100% synchronized
     
    rskater205 likes this.
  9. Heptapod89Fr

    Heptapod89Fr Fapstronaut

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    Day 1 : Thursday, 9th of March 2017

    I went to the crossfit in the morning. It was hard. Outch !

    Then in the afternoon I played Starcraft with a friend.

    NoFap : 100% synchronized - Day 1 completed
    Coffee : 0 cup - 100% synchronized
    Cigaret : 0 - 100% synchronized
     
  10. Heptapod89Fr

    Heptapod89Fr Fapstronaut

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    Day 2 : Friday, 10th of March 2017

    I took coffee again today. Well, without it, I wasn't doing a lot of things...

    In the morning, I played several Starcraft games with a friend. :)

    In the afternoon, I went jogging 10mn.

    In the evening, I went to the theatre. :)

    Now, it is 4:27 a.m and I am so happy because I've just made a beautiful dream. I love dreams. This one was particularly magic. :)

    Have a nice day my friends,

    NoFap : 100% synchronized - Day 2 completed
    Coffee : 4 cups - 0% synchronized
    Cigaret : 0 - 100% synchronized
     
  11. Heptapod89Fr

    Heptapod89Fr Fapstronaut

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    Day 0 : Satursday, 11th of March 2017

    Crossfit at 4 p.m

    NoFap : 0% synchronized - Failure
    Coffee : 1 cup - 0% synchronized
    Cigaret : 0 - 100% synchronized
     
  12. Heptapod89Fr

    Heptapod89Fr Fapstronaut

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    Day 0 : Sunday, 12th of March 2017

    I masturbated again this morning. Moreover it's raining. I have no motivation and I feel lonely.

    Waiting for Morpheus to take me out of this f******* Matrix :D

    NoFap : 0% synchronized - Failure
    Coffee : 3 cups - 0% synchronized
    Cigaret : 0 - but I' m tempted right now :(
     
  13. Heptapod89Fr

    Heptapod89Fr Fapstronaut

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    Day 0 : Monday, 13th of March 2017

    It's quite hard. I feel very lonely this days.

    NoFap : 0% synchronized - Failure
    Coffee : 1 cup - 0% synchronized
    Cigaret : 1 - 0% synchronized
     
  14. Heptapod89Fr

    Heptapod89Fr Fapstronaut

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    Day 0 : Thursday, 14th of March 2017

    Argl !

    NoFap : 0% synchronized - Failure
    Coffee : 1 cup - 0% synchronized
    Cigaret : 0 - 100% synchronized
     
  15. Michaelfapson

    Michaelfapson Fapstronaut

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    Maybe reducing your coffee intake/amount, the amount of cigarettes you smoke per day might be a better solution? Or even focusing on nofap first then tackling the other issues along the way?
    Quitting too many things at once can lead to more temptation in my opinion and restricting yourself from 3 addictions/habits will result in a stronger relapse
     
  16. Heptapod89Fr

    Heptapod89Fr Fapstronaut

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    Yes, focusing on NoFap first is a good idea. :)

    It's harder to hit three targets at the same time ^^

    Thank you for your reply ;)
     
  17. Michaelfapson

    Michaelfapson Fapstronaut

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    I'm currently about to start quitting smoking but with the help of patches and I've cut out caffeine (for me it's easy) as it encourages my anxiety.
    One step at a time and we will see the light :)
     
  18. Heptapod89Fr

    Heptapod89Fr Fapstronaut

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    I have indeed seen that caffeine encourages anxiety for me too. In the morning, I want to feel awake so I say to myself, "why don't I drink a coffee ?", but then, at the end of the day, I feel anxious and tired, because I choose not to drink it after 2 p.m.
     
  19. Michaelfapson

    Michaelfapson Fapstronaut

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    Decaf? I've found drinking lots of water with caffeine can help reduce the wired effects. Hope that helps and good luck :)
     
  20. Heptapod89Fr

    Heptapod89Fr Fapstronaut

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    Day 1 :) : Wednesday, 15th of March 2017

    Well, it was a better day than the previous one. I suffer from a lack of dopamine (schizophrenia). On tuesday, I bought an electronic cigaret, in order to stop smoking cigarets, which are 95% more toxic. And this morning, after having made a good dream, I woke up happy.

    Nicotine makes that the brain produces dopamine (or something like that) so tomorrow, I will ask more about that to my psychiatre, and what he thinks about it. With cigarets, it didn't work, maybe because of the too toxic smoke (I can't stand the cigaret smoke).

    What else did I do today :

    - I received new shoes that I bought on Asos. I was very happy. They're white, I like white.
    - I played several coops on Starcraft : 3 victories in difficult mode. And 2 failures in the weekly mutation in difficult mode.
    - I ate with my parents and one sister and her boyfriend at midday. The meal wasn't very good but what mattered was to spend time with them.
    - In the evening I went to the hairdresser (new hair cut !) and then I ordered a pizza. I was happy because I saw two friends who work there :) And I wasn't expecting to see them.
    - I started a french film called Victoria, with one of my favorite actress. I haven't finished it yet. Don't worry, although there is a hot scene, I wasn't tempted to PMO.

    In the evening, I surprised myself to think by myself and I wrote this :

    "Interstellar : peu importe les épreuves difficiles que l'on traverse, car même au bout du trou noir il y a de l'espoir."

    Let's try to translate it for you my friends :

    "Interstellar : no matter how hard are the moments we go through, because even at the end of a black hole, there is hope."

    It is inspired from the movie Interstellar, because I listened to some tracks while eating my half-pizza. :)

    NoFap : 100% synchronized - Day 1 completed
     

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