Help needed!

I found a memory stick of porn at my partners house and confronted him about it. He said he was sorry and promised he would stop after seeing how distraught I was. Although there were videos and photos from before the time I was in a relationship- there were videos in the year I have been with him. I was distraught- I felt disgusted, insecure and not goodenough. I then hid this memory stick in a place where I would know if he had moved it. (I know psycho but when you lose all trust for someone you end up playing detective!) anyway the memory stick was moved so I had a look and of course, he’d downloaded more and photos this time! I sent him a photo showing him what I had found and said ‘it’s over’ and that’s where he admitted he’d got a problem. I just had to leave- I was repulsed at his actions and lack of care and respect for me. He then threatened to take pills and end his life etc and me being scared of this told him I stick by him and he needs help. He willingly rang therapists etc and has an appointment for 26th March. But the battle I go through trying to stay strong and positive until then when I’m fuming and distraught and repulsed is killing me. We snap at each other all the time, me because I’m angry and him because he’s ashamed. I feel I can't leave him alone Incase he gets tempted to do it again. This is not a-life! I work as cabin crew on short haul flights so I am gone between 7-20 hours a day! My anxiety when he’s left the room is through the roof! I’ve tried talking to my friends but their boyfriends do it and they say it’s normal and guys need ‘variety’ but I-am NOT happy with it and the fact my boyfriend knows this but chose to carry on and lie about it makes this a different story. I’m close with his mum so we both told her about it and although she’s disappointed she said she would help but now he feels he can't see his parents he’s so ashamed. Surely if he loved me he would have stopped when he saw how broken I was?

I just don’t know what to do. He’s told me I can’t cry infront of him because it makes him feel bad and will only make him worse. So I’m to cry and rant in my own time (which is never because I need to watch him 24/7)

I’m driving myself insane. Help!