Help me make 120 days 42 yo

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by Peterdaly, Jul 31, 2017.

  1. Peterdaly

    Peterdaly Fapstronaut

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    Hi all

    I need some help ... Lots of help!!

    I'm a 42 yo married guy also a Christian

    Need an AP to regularly chat to and support

    Cheers
     
  2. maurice40

    maurice40 Fapstronaut

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    Dear Peter,

    I am willing to help you brother. I am 41, and married and Christian - so almost exactly the same as you.
    I can't promise I'll be any good as an AP, but my prayers will be with you and I'll try my best to support you. I am currently on 14 days - my best streak for about a year.

    I will share some of my story as we continue. The Lord bless you.
     
  3. Peterdaly

    Peterdaly Fapstronaut

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    Hi Maurice

    Thanks pal hope we can help each other I see your up to 16 days what are you aiming for?
     
  4. maurice40

    maurice40 Fapstronaut

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    Hi Peter,

    I am taking each day at a time but my ultimate goal is to never go back to porn. I've had enough. So I'm more than happy to aim for 120 days with you, and beyond!

    What I would say from the outset is that it is vital to be close to the Lord in all this. Without the Lord we can do nothing. Now is a good time to start getting real serious about drawing near to the Lord through prayer and through the reading of God's word (if you're not doing so already). I will be praying for you.
     
  5. Peterdaly

    Peterdaly Fapstronaut

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    Yeh agree pal gotta pray and talk to our lord for strength

    Before my last stint of nofap I went to a prayer meeting one of the guys there said... The lord wanted me to tell you this he is with you he sees your struggle and wants to help you it's important and he will help you

    After that I went over 120 days

    I didn't have the guts to tell the guy at the meeting porn was my struggle I did tell my pastor though a while later

    Maybe if we beat this we can help others also but gotta beat it first
     
  6. maurice40

    maurice40 Fapstronaut

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    This is the terrible thing about being 'hooked' on porn. It's almost impossible to tell anybody and receive a sympathetic response. If you said you were an alcoholic, people would at least have some sympathy. But porn, no chance. What a snare it is. It's the devil's master plan. So hard to resist and so hard to confess.

    I must add though, one thing I have learned during my latest stint, which has been my longest in about a year, is that the battle is not actually Me vs Porn. The battle is actually Me vs God. That may sound strange, but this is the way I see it. Every time I succumb to pornography, it is because I don't want to yield to God. I want my will and not His will. My recent 'success' has been because I'm finally yielding to God in everything. Absolutely everything. From the time I get up to the time I go to bed I ask the Lord to help me yield to him in all things. To put it simply, I no longer fight against porn, I yield to God instead.
     
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2017
  7. Peterdaly

    Peterdaly Fapstronaut

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    That's very insightful hadn't thought of it like that before

    I'm alone in hotel in Sydney this is normally when I'm vulnerable thankfully I'm tired and writing this also helps my resolve I'll get through this
     
  8. koalaone

    koalaone Fapstronaut

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    Hi Peterdaly and Maurice40,
    I would be happy to also be an AP with you guys. I have been on the journey for over a year and have been discovering what the underlying reasons for my failing have been, and maurice40 has pretty much nailed it in regards to yielding to God. It is so hard to resist and so hard to confess. Its been a tough 12 month journey of self analysis and discovery and my PMO struggle is one of the symptoms of the underlying problem. Even though I now understand the beast, the battle continues but giving up is not an option.

    If you like, I could start a personal conversation to as a regular AP and touch base regularly via Nofap.
     
  9. Peterdaly

    Peterdaly Fapstronaut

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    Hi Koalaone yeh agree Maurice got it in one yielding to God and controlling my thoughts is my aim here. I'm really working on watching my thoughts as they come and tipping out the bad ones questioning where they come from and bartering them away

    Found in the past when I'm low I fail

    I also find if I'm feeling too good I also fail

    Be good to set up a personal conversation as you suggest

    Thanks
     
  10. maurice40

    maurice40 Fapstronaut

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    Dear Brothers,

    I have bad news. I relapsed on Friday and have been wobbling and stumbling for the past few days. I'm just starting to return to my right mind.

    I made it to 18 full days (which is good for me) and I was already starting to struggle a little. Not a lot. Friday morning, everything was going well. But I work from home and so there is always that temptation particularly in the morning to stop working and do something else i.e look at porn. After all, I can make up the work some other time. Just like I've always done. And so I succumbed and fell.

    I maintain that yielding to the Lord is the fundamental issue, but in hindsight just taking one or two practical measures to keep me out of harm's way would have prevented me from falling. It's my phone that is almost always the culprit. The devil is so cunning. And I'm always so weak.

    Another thing has occurred to me in the light of my latest failure. I fell, and as always, I then stopped praying and reading the Word of God because I thought to myself, 'What good is it going to do? It doesn't work. It doesn't stop me from watching porn. It doesn't keep me from sexual immorality'. But again my attitude reveals another serious problem. Am I using the Word of God simply to get me off porn? Am I a Christian just because I want to be rid of this particular sin? My whole attitude is wrong. I should read the Word of God because I love God. I should live the Christian life because Christ has died for my sins so that I may be forgiven. If getting rid of porn in my life is the only reason I am a Christian, then I am greatly dishonouring God. I ought to love God for who He is and for what He has done for me. Even if I have fallen, I should have been up early the very next day seeking the Lord's face for pardon and being ready to praise him just as always. I hope this all makes sense. It just seems that my faith is dependent on my battle with porn. And that's not right. As I said before, the battle is Me vs God. Not Me vs porn.

    Well anyway brothers, sorry for the long post. Welcome @koalaone. As you can see I'm a bit of a mess at the best of times. But I will be praying for you and for Peter Daly. Sorry I haven't been there for you dude. I told you I'd be a useless AP. Please include me in any conversation you set up. The Lord bless us all.
     
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2017
  11. Peterdaly

    Peterdaly Fapstronaut

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    Hi Maurice do not be hard on yourself pal. We have all been there and you have done a brave thing in admitting the fall.

    18 days was an achievement in itself no doubt about so big pat on the back for that.

    I'll share this with you for your next run at it. Take your time and prepare yourself. Like preparing for a long journey take some time to get yourself ready it will take you much further.

    Gods smiling on you right now and he knows we all fail but through him we can do all things

    Just picture him smiling at you when you stumble just like you do when your kids have a good go and fall short

    God loves you pal
     
  12. koalaone

    koalaone Fapstronaut

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    Hi guys,
    Its good reading both your posts and I resonate a lot with your findings as to why we fail. I do personally believe it is Us versus God as the reason why we keep failing. It was like a month ago where I had this realisation that I've been fighting God for so long as I didn't wish to be morally accountable to God whilst being caught up in my PMO activities. It's a vicious cycle – if you PMO and misuse your sexuality, it jams your walk with God as you feel such a hypocrite and you don't read his word and you don't pray and this weakens you further. Also not adopting practical measures is the icing on the cake for a guaranteed fall so now I realise I have to have my mind in the right place to just have sufficient strength to walk the straight path.
    As I travel interstate often, I can feel before I even arrive at the hotel if I have my head in the right place to resist the temptations. The only times I have survived have been when I'm more in communion with God and have carefully planned how to keep myself busy during those quiet times. If I don't do this I'm sure to become shark bait.
     

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