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HELP HELP HELP please, advice needed from people in a relationship

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Salvo, Sep 12, 2017.

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  1. Sep 12, 2017 #1
    Salvo

    Salvo Fapstronaut

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    I have started rebooting, No porn at all from the 10th of August, and no masturbation for the last 6 days.
    I'm now so happy and I see SO many positives changes, and I'm really not about to give up.
    My fiance lives in US and I live in Italy for work, we supposed to see each other in a month time, but I keep reading about "Flatline".

    Because of PIED sex has never been great but it's getting better and I really don't want to disappoint her (even though she never complained I know that I only have semi erections most of the time even though I'm SOOOO in love with her) , so here are my two questions, please comment if you think you know the answer.

    1- Will I struggle to get an erection because of that flatline period ?

    2- Will that mess up my rebooting program

    Extra question: I never know if I should start counting the days from the last time I watched porn 10th of August or the last time I masturbated (thinking mostly about my beautiful wife)

    Ps: Just to give you the info, my fiance and I have been together for just a year and I've been watching porn pretty much everyday for 12 years :(((
    And here is some other details that I feel ashamed of but it makes me feel good to finally say it. I did take sex pills a few times just to have an impression of great sex and most of the time I had to think of porn while I was having sex with her to keep me going. It almost makes me wanna cry when I think of it.

    Please help, I almost want to cancel my trip just to make sure my rebooting program is successful, as I strongly believe it's changing me into the man I wanted to be
     
    Salvo, Sep 12, 2017
    Salvo, Sep 12, 2017
    #1
  2. Sep 12, 2017 #2
    Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

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    OK, no pills and I'd start your counter at the last m.
    But that's me.
    I'm a SO.
    Even if it was about your wife... If you used her for fantasy and not real life.. Then that's still linking her to P atm.
    OK so I'll link you to a thread here... I think that should help answer some questions
     
    Kenzi, Sep 12, 2017
    Kenzi, Sep 12, 2017
    #2
  3. Sep 12, 2017 #3
    Spiff

    Spiff Fapstronaut

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    @Salvo - You might be a mess for a while after a daily twelve year habit. Despite this, the only real solution for you is to just move forward, never look back. The flatline will fade away, your need to fantasize while having sex will fade away - but only if you really quit and quit forever.

    You're about to marry a woman you love - do the right thing and be faithful to her in your heart, mind, and body. I can tell it pains you what your addiction has led you to do - the only way out is to persevere, be steadfast and never look at porn again. It should make us cry that we ever fantasized about another woman while we were with the one we loved. Listen to your conscience, it sounds like its leading you in the right direction.

    I looked at porn for 15 or so years of my marriage - not only did I cheat my wife of my full attention and sexual energy, but I cheated myself of the opportunity to give those things to her. Don't make the same mistakes I did.
     
    Spiff, Sep 12, 2017
    Spiff, Sep 12, 2017
    #3
    Hopefulgirl likes this.

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