Hello

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Ogamisword, Feb 11, 2014.

  1. Ogamisword

    Ogamisword Fapstronaut

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    I am a new member of NoFap.com, my friend sent me this link

    What made me want to start a NoFap pledge was because of my issue with my erections.
    Around the end of January I was about to have sexual intercourse with a woman for the first time in my 24 years of being alive. before we were dating I was constantly masturbating and looking at porn on web sites like that of 4chan and xnxx, the night that I thought was supposed to be my breakthrough in losing my virginity ended in terrible embarrassment when I failed to gain an erection. the worse being of it all that my date began to have doubts that I was attracted to her and began to question my sexuality. To add insult to injury on her she then asked "maybe your not attracted to me", my mind went blank when I said what she told me without even thinking.

    I went through this deep depression after that, I was eventually so traumatized about that night that I couldn't get an erection for a few days,the good thing coming out of that is that I began to exercise more and immediately stopped viewing pornography, I came up with an idea why that happened, I exposed my brain into something new, something that I wasn't aware accustomed to, I guess that night was a blessing in disguise, my porn viewing is at a minimum and I masturbate like only three times a week but I'm concerned about my sex drive because just recently, my date and I are back to talking and it looks like she wants to maybe date sometime soon and I want to take NoFap seriously for the big night.
     
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2014
  2. Soul Cage

    Soul Cage Fapstronaut

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    I'm sorry you're having a tough time. Thankyou for having the balls to share that man, deep respect. Though I guess there's nothing like a wake up call such as this to bring yourself out of old habits. First off, the best thing you did was to join this community, welcome! This is the beginning of the end.

    This is great news, she must be into you if she is coming back for more, hope things continue to improve. However the worst thing you can do at this point is build yourself up for the 'big night' you need to get that out of your head, all that sort of anticipation is going to build up your own expectations of yourself and how imperative it is that you perform successfully.... the consequences of that? You are going turn up in the bedroom with heightened stress levels and the fears from what happened last time.

    When the mind is stressed it naturally shuts down its sexual mechanisms in both brain and body. Animals experience this too as it is a system that has been in place since more primitive times. When the brain senses that it is threatened (ie. stress signals) then it withdraws from it's reproductive systems because it sends the message that 'there is danger' now is not a 'safe' environment for reproduction or indeed bringing up young (this is why women have trouble getting pregnant if they are under stress or trauma)

    My advice is forget it, just forget the sex, if it happens, go with it, just don't tell yourself that's what is going to happen. The best thing you can do now is make sure you do not PMO between now and your date! and get yourself a counter.... http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?4430-To-ALL-Newbies-The-Virtues-of-The-Counter-!!!

    Sorry for the long scientific shit, just thought it might help. All the best to you, Be strong.
     
  3. Madrileño

    Madrileño Fapstronaut

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    For me it has been a total revelation looking not just at what's going on in my mind (I was well enough aware of that) but WHY? Go to Yourbrainonporn.com if you haven't been there yet and look at the science behind what you're going through. I guarantee it's an eye opener. Then you can begin to fight back.

    Hope you find it as helpful as I have!

    All the best with the process...
     
  4. MysterMagi

    MysterMagi Fapstronaut

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    Last year I went through a situation very similar to yours. One of my exes (when we dated we were very sexually active) came back into my life and, long story short, we ended up fooling around. Unfortunately, due to my porn use I was unable to keep an erection (at first) and she thought I was disgusted by her. Several months later we started hanging out again and we ended up having sex again. This time I was maybe two to three weeks into my NoFap quest and was able to keep an erection. Unfortunately she was done before I was so that was a big let down (but that is normal for the two of us). So, in my similar experience NoFap has helped. NoFap also made the sex much more intense, which felt amazing. I say give up the masturbation and stop looking at porn and see what happens. You could be redeeming yourself for that first failed experience. What have you got to lose?
     

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