Hello

I'm sorry you're having a tough time. Thankyou for having the balls to share that man, deep respect. Though I guess there's nothing like a wake up call such as this to bring yourself out of old habits. First off, the best thing you did was to join this community, welcome! This is the beginning of the end.

This is great news, she must be into you if she is coming back for more, hope things continue to improve. However the worst thing you can do at this point is build yourself up for the 'big night' you need to get that out of your head, all that sort of anticipation is going to build up your own expectations of yourself and how imperative it is that you perform successfully.... the consequences of that? You are going turn up in the bedroom with heightened stress levels and the fears from what happened last time.

When the mind is stressed it naturally shuts down its sexual mechanisms in both brain and body. Animals experience this too as it is a system that has been in place since more primitive times. When the brain senses that it is threatened (ie. stress signals) then it withdraws from it's reproductive systems because it sends the message that 'there is danger' now is not a 'safe' environment for reproduction or indeed bringing up young (this is why women have trouble getting pregnant if they are under stress or trauma)

My advice is forget it, just forget the sex, if it happens, go with it, just don't tell yourself that's what is going to happen. The best thing you can do now is make sure you do not PMO between now and your date! and get yourself a counter.... http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?4430-To-ALL-Newbies-The-Virtues-of-The-Counter-!!!

Sorry for the long scientific shit, just thought it might help. All the best to you, Be strong.

 

For me it has been a total revelation looking not just at what's going on in my mind (I was well enough aware of that) but WHY? Go to Yourbrainonporn.com if you haven't been there yet and look at the science behind what you're going through. I guarantee it's an eye opener. Then you can begin to fight back.

Hope you find it as helpful as I have!

All the best with the process...

 

Last year I went through a situation very similar to yours. One of my exes (when we dated we were very sexually active) came back into my life and, long story short, we ended up fooling around. Unfortunately, due to my porn use I was unable to keep an erection (at first) and she thought I was disgusted by her. Several months later we started hanging out again and we ended up having sex again. This time I was maybe two to three weeks into my NoFap quest and was able to keep an erection. Unfortunately she was done before I was so that was a big let down (but that is normal for the two of us). So, in my similar experience NoFap has helped. NoFap also made the sex much more intense, which felt amazing. I say give up the masturbation and stop looking at porn and see what happens. You could be redeeming yourself for that first failed experience. What have you got to lose?