Heirs' June "Stop the Autopilot" Challenge thread

Hi brothers and sisters, this is day 1 of this challenge and day 2 of my new streak.

First part: To break my routine I used this day to fix my aspect. I have been ignoring my hair and beard, and since it starts to get hot I shaved myself in the morning and I will go to the barber in the afternoon to fix the hair aswell(been thinking to a new cut, still not sure of what to do). Will surely look better after!

Second part: So, after lunch I felt strong urges and I jumped to the bed, it is something I sometimes do to escape the laptop(I use it not only to relax but to study aswell). While on the bed, I thought how to calm down and the new challenge of the Heirs popped up into my mind. So I used that time to concentrate my thoughts on the situation. Studying more I am more hungry, and I feel more tired, and have less time to do my workouts, or just walk outside. Believe me or not, I really have to study a lot if I want to pass my tests, and that require to use a lot of time being alone and using a lot of energies(which is a very good reason to save them up). But my body and brain remember the old habit, which took place just in situations like the one I am living lately.
I have to demonstrate to my body that I can study better by not PMO'ing nor MO'ing, and that I do not need to do that thing. Not easy...

Will try to hold tight during the evening and the night, I am considering to study in a place where there are more people or out of my room, that would probably help with the urges, but at the same time I have to keep the same concentration.
Well, hope you are doing well!
AVE

 

I made my bed, impeccably so not just a throwing your blanket on it type thing, as soon as I woke up. I think this is my third day of doing that, so it is still out of the ordinary.

(Will post 2nd part later in a separate post and do one post per day starting tomorrow)

 

Hi @TheAVExperiment, you are doing a great job.
I suggest that you avoid laying on bed when you get depressed or with urges. It may be counter productive.
I think that your last suggestion is the right one: stay surrounded by people, do not be alone.
When I have an urge and need to study I go to the library or to some coffee shop. You cannot PMO there (unless you want to spend the might in jail, lol)
Keep on fighting
Fercho

 

Yesterday evening I left my office earlier instead of staying late as I usually do.
I drove to the beach and had a nice 30' walk and practice 25" my Tai Chi routine while the sun was setting.
It gave me the calm and peace I was needing after a complicated day. In the past, i would have looked for peace in the "sweet wings of PMO". And of course I would have ended up much more depressed than before. During my Tai Chi practice I felt in peace with myself as i have not felt for years. I am usually to hard on me, I always want to achieve more and more. I got to 12.5 months PMO free, but instead of being satisfied I would also want not to have any more urges or temptations to get back to escorts. I need to learn how to accept that I cannot be perfect, this also damages my relationship with my wife.
I got back to my house relaxed, instead of laying on bed and watching TV like a zombie I decided to sit down next to my wife and read while she is studying.
This helped me sleep much better at night too
Keep on fighting
Fercho

 

6/01
1) (I'm still at work but...) once I get home, I will use my apartment complex's facilities and go for a short jog and do some lifting. *flexes muscles*
2) I've been thinking about how shitty I've actually been to my fiancé, with the lying to hide my PMO habits and how I am the man that I always had so much contempt for-sneaky, duplicitous, apathetic. Instead of dwelling on me being a Douchebag Dave, I have concluded that I can't change how I've been in the past, but I get to decide how I act in the present. I get twinges of guilt but I'm going to work on simply changing my actions little by little and working toward becoming a man of integrity, strength, kindness and selflessness.

 

You are right @Blahblahnomorefapping , we trend to look back and regret all the shit we have done as addicts.
I behaved so many times as a prick with my wife, I neglected her and did not pay enough attention, plus I hired dozens of escorts and hooked-up with almost 100 guys in shitty and dangerous places.
Should I forget? No, because I want to stay aware of the damage I can do if I am back at PMO.
Should I regret all my life? No, because I need to look forward into the future, and don't lose my time crying for my past mistakes.
Keep on fighting
Fercho

 

Sun be Praised ☀

Mundane Muttering:

I ran 5 miles in solitude and quiescence through the vibrant lush wood and marshland (kinda reminds me of the marsh in the episode of The Last Kingdom I'm on) which served as time alone, time unplugged. I also biked 20 miles round trip to the trail I ran on. As I was finished running I tried to chase a young cycling enigma who whipped past me as I was coming out of the wood to my bike. A horde of boy scouts on the bike path slowed me down but I managed to overtake the horde, alas the enigma had vanished. He must have taken a side road out to the river road now that I think about it.

Sorry this muttering is kind of shallow but I assure you they will deepen, and perhaps become revelatory to an extent by the end of the month. I realized I run faster and feel lighter without any electronics on me. I don't really need a boost from music to fuel a run. Still use music as fuel for a strength session, but no more podcasts or music on runs. I also realize I use my phone too much throughout the day and getting into the forest will serve as time unplugged, reharmonizing with my mind undistracted and absorbing the fresh Qi of nature.

I sit for a half hour morning and night but nothing to report from this morning, my insights tend to come during times outside sitting meditation actually. So please excuse this mundane muttering, I will try to sit in quietude next time, however running can be very meditative.

 

Nice. Tai Chi on the beach sounds fantastic! I started practicing Qigong outdoors, definitely nice to practice outside.

Also your other post, never forget the past, but we don't have to regret it for the rest of our lives, thank you. It eases my mind.

 

1. I have no idea what to do with my time to shake things up. Watch a new Youtube channel maybe? >.> I don't have much of an imagination.

2. I don't like thinking, it makes me feel alone but alright I'll try doing it for 15 minutes. I just hope things don't get too dark ;-;

 

Sign a brother up!

Part 1:

I've been wanting to wake up a 6am for a while now, complete stretches and listen to some music to start the day. So this will be my pledge.

I'm getting my best friend on board, we're going to call each other in the morning and make sure we both set up, sequence of the habit will be, alarm, shower, call, breakfast and then stretches.

Part 2:

I pledge to 15 minutes of mindfulness mediation before bed.

 

I'd like to sign up for the challenge. I believe that NoFap, to be successful, has to be coupled with a challenge to become a better all around person. I, previously, had the most success with NoFap when excercising, and focusing on bettering myself. I am glad that I found this group and look forward to the June challenge.

During this challenge I will reduce my drinking to only weekends. I will also work out at least 15 minutes daily. I have used medicines in the past to treat anxiety. I will also give up those meds. (Please consult with your Doctor if you would like to do the same.) I do not want to be hooked on any substance to feel comfortable. I will also wake up no later than 6:00am during the week. (Later on the weekends) Finally, I also pledge to take 15 minutes or so to pray, meditate and reflect.

I look forward with the challenge and accountability. My longest NoFap, no porn, in the past 10 years has been 2 weeks (14 Days), so if I successfully complete June, I will have completed the toughest challenge (PMO wise) of my adulthood.

 

The lovely June challenge.
I actually forgot today marked the beginning of June. It's very easy tobget swept away by whatever life puts out in front of you. Ironically I forgot about the challenge to. But, today I did something new, unconsciously I just realized. We are prone to words, it's human nature, that's fact. Fish stinks, that also seems to be fact. Unfortunately, not everyone loves fish the way I do, and a little annoyingly, my parents give me a lot of fish for lunch. My friends never liked the smell, and it always bothered me. But, I guess I can't starve. Usually when they express theirs stance on my fish, I'd get very annoyed and defensive. But, today I just kinda chilled out. Over all today, I was able to control myself and that is a freakin' blessing. Cheers to a subconscious challenge complete for day 1.
As for the 15 mins, I'll do it right around now. I honestly prefer the shower because no one will disturb you as you think. But, showers are also dangerous places, so guard up today.

 

Day 1

Part 1

I am in a transition phase of my life as I just graduate college and I am spending the summer in a town I haven't lived extensively in for over 12 years. So I may have a lot of things I do that go against autopilot. Today I helped my parents clean out a dead lady's house. I got to keep some Calvin and Hobbes books and a shotgun! I am not that into guns, mainly because they are expensive rather than political reasons, but I am excited to get one for free! Also, I hung out a mall by myself today as a I waited for my car to be worked on. It was weird going into shops by myself, especially Yankee Candle, but I did. I am more than confident in my masculinity lol. Even if I did buy tropical car scent things. Tomorrow, I plan on doing a lot more organizing of my room as I settle in for two months of living here.

Part 2

I took 10-15 minutes in my car as I was driving to just sit and think. No music or podcast, just me reflecting and praying. If you read the last post I did in the Heirs, you will know that I just went through an intense weeklong quasi romance. It's complicated, but I was able to do some good reflections on what I learned from it today.

Stay Strong!

 

Part 1 walked to the store instead of taking my car it was a nice change
Part 2 after my wife went to bed I sat in the middle of the bed room and just focused on the events of the day what I did right and what I can do better

 

If they do get dark don't be afraid to talk about them that's why we are here to help

 

.part1:
.instead if just cleaning my room, I cleaned up the living room as well, changed my music.
Part 2 will be coming soon.
One question though, can I use this thread as a monthly journal?

 

Day 2 of the challenge.
Day 3 of my streak.
Part 1: Today I changed my morning schedule, usually after I wake up I use the pc to browse some web and basically it take time before starting what I have to do in the day. Not this morning: I watched 2 of my favourites motavional videos (15 minutes total), and after those I started to study right away instead of waiting the time for the gym to open up. So I managed to study 45 minutes before leaving for the gym thanks to that change.

Part 2: Was feeling some little urges again after lunch(I think that eating could be correlated to those, still not sure), and I was tired too beacuse of the workout(could be related to this aswell). I decided to do my 15 minutes meditation to calm down, but after sitting I could not handle it and jumped on my bed, I fell asleep(getting old LOL). Anyway I do not regret that and you know why?
While weaking up my mind, I was still sleepy and I had this strange view in my mind, it was a strong light, everything was white and a face came out of the light, it was me(!!!), near some trees. Not the present me, it was more like the future me, with a great body, smile and trustworthy(a good person). The future me smiled at me and took my hand like I needed to get up again, and he told me "do not worry, everything is gonna be fine, just go on and do not surrender". What a feeling, never had a vision like that...and never had a vision of myself in that way.
I woke up with this feeling of renewed strenght that I was actually thankful to have slept 45 minutes instead of meditating for 15, so yeah, will try those 15 minutes again tomorrow!

I am gonna be my best future me, no matter what gets in my path! Hooah!