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Height Insecurity - Finding a Mate

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by empowerednow, Jun 13, 2016.

  1. empowerednow

    empowerednow Fapstronaut

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    I'm a short guy (5'6). From where I live (Philippines), this is the average male height. Does height really matter immensely to girls? What if I move to the States/Canada/Australia where guys and girls are a lot taller?I have to admit I'm insecure about my height. Nevertheless, there is nothing I can do but embrace my "shortness".
     
  2. New Life Mantra 333

    New Life Mantra 333 Fapstronaut

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    Firstly i would say yes a guys height does matter to "some" women, im a short guy and have had problems with my height too, ive had everything from women calling me a hobbit to laughing in my face when i asked them out etc, ive had ex-girlfriends who stopped wearing heels because they didnt want to look taller than me in photos or out on a date, ive even had an ex-girlfriend who bought me boots with a bigger heel/sole than usual to make me look taller, needless to say this was very embarresing and made me feel like a total loser and it really affected my confidence in a major way, i was left feeling like i had nothing to offer the world of women and i became very depressed about it for a long time,

    however i do not feel bad anymore because i have realised why woman have an issue with a guys height and most of the time its not really their fault, its not that they are really shallow or mean women its just that they have been brainwashed since birth by the media that men have to be "tall, dark and handsome" the "big tall hero" etc everything from movies to advertisments always depict the male as taller than the female, even the plastic figures on a wedding cake the man is always depicted as being taller, yes it is wrong and yes it is highly annoying and at times very insulting, but unfortunately thats just the way it is and it is also a womans preference etc, they have a right to be picky as do men have that same right,

    but i didnt deal with it very well and i did the "wrong" thing by letting it get to me too much, thats why i want to tell you that you "must" embrace your shortness immediately and just be yourself ! the height of a man does not determine his value and the height of a man does not determine his ambition, intellegence nor fighting skill in battle, most of the greatest warriors of all time were short men as they could roll upon the battle ground like a deadly cannon ball where as tall men fall like clumsy trees! just look at 5/7cm Bruce lee i dont think i have ever heard anyone on earth bring up his height whatsoever in conversation, his skill,determination and personality made him the great hero of the world, the last thing people think about when thinking of him is what height he was etc, because his personality and his undying will to be true to himself made him a giant in everyway!

    i wasted so much time feeling bad about my height that i actually let women who were very interested in me pass by, i was so depressed and angry about my height that it effected my personality and instead of being myself and proud of myself i was really down and felt not worthy and i can still remember my friends saying "dude this girl really likes you, why not ask her out" but i was too caught up in thinking "im a loser, im short, she doesnt really like me" etc my confidence was so low it ruined many a chance with many lovely women, so please dont do this to yourself, because even though height may be a factor to "some" women it doesnt mean that you cant find someone who sees you as the hero,

    women have to go through so many shallow guys too before they find love, remember that women come in all different shapes and sizes too and an equal amount of pressure is on them to be "socially beautiful" if you think being a short guy is bad you should check out some of the stories about really "tall women" they have a bad time also trying to find love etc

    at the end of the day i would ask you to remain confident and proud of yourself and remember that your height will only hold you back if you let it, so dont let it ,enjoy your life and be proud of the person that you are, "some" women wont like you or find you attractive but that doesnt mean all women wont, plus if a woman is that shallow anyway then she probably isnt good for you in the long run, let these women go with the "tall men" and keep an eye out for the women who best suit you, short guys can have types and preferences too, just be yourself and choose wisely who you would like to fall in love with!

    above all else confidence and personality are the most important things to women, height may be a factor to some but confidence/personality is king!

    peace!
     
  3. Ekhangel

    Ekhangel Fapstronaut

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    Why not just find a short...ish girlfriend? Women aren't all that tall anyway.
     
  4. Ahddub

    Ahddub Guest

    Hey I know its kindof shallow but hey I dont mind the cheat

    I got height insoles. They slip into your shoe and add two extra inches

    I am 5'11 naturally now I am 6'3 with my boots and 6'1 1/2 with adidas high tops

    But Im a rogue soo I dont mind trickery in life :) In D and D they would call it chaotic neutral? I forgot all the alliances :p
     
  5. empowerednow

    empowerednow Fapstronaut

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    Your words of encouragement undeniably boosted my morale. I can empathize with you on the notion of "not being good enough for a girl's taste" because of our small stature. I guess it is the fear of being rejected which exacerbates my insecurity. I will most definitely keep your anecdote in mind.
     
    Mixtec and New Life Mantra 333 like this.
  6. empowerednow

    empowerednow Fapstronaut

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    That could probably work, but it may just backfire once girls suddenly find out that you're faking it, haha.
     
  7. unnatural_20

    unnatural_20 New Fapstronaut

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    I know at least one married couple where the girl was about an inch taller. So there's hope? Every time I hear this on reddit, there are plenty of girls that say "I don't care!" and some girls that say "Sorry, but I do care". But in the end, I think insecurity more universally unattractive. *shrugs*

    I think it's true neutral if you are doing it just to help yourself, chaotic neutral if you do it because "screw social convention!". Although IMO alignment is stupid.
     
  8. Ekhangel

    Ekhangel Fapstronaut

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    So, don't you feel awkward when you happen to take your shoes off before strangers?
     
    Islanders190 likes this.
  9. Ahddub

    Ahddub Guest

    Not really. They hardley notice tbh. Once they get in there head I am this tall they often forget the 2 inch difference
     
  10. I read your post.I am a short guy as well.I am only 5''8 and I get a lot of shit from my friends for it.The funny thing is I have never heard another woman tell me ''I don't want to date you because you are too short.My advice is embrace your shortness,confindence comes from inside.There are lots of people who are short who have accomplished great things.
     
    New Life Mantra 333 likes this.
  11. JustinX

    JustinX Fapstronaut

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    New Life Mantra 333 likes this.
  12. ILoathePwife

    ILoathePwife Fapstronaut

    I'm 5 foot 4, so you're taller than me! My husband is about your height and height doesn't matter to me at all.
     
    Last edited: Jun 2, 2017
    New Life Mantra 333 likes this.
  13. yousuff

    yousuff Fapstronaut

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    I am also 5.6" and so skinny. I was so pensive about my height when I was freshman in university. I tried a little to be taller but didn't work out. I think my long addiction PMO has affected my height. I could have been 3 inches more taller if PMO never happened to me.

    Now I am just fine with my height. If someone accepts me the way I am I will be with them otherwise I won't waste my time to blame height.
     
  14. Rav70

    Rav70 Fapstronaut

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    I'm 5'7 boyfriend is 5'8 maybe 5'9. I like short and stocky. :)
    I've dated someone 6'2 before and it felt odd...
    Ultimately it's about you not your height!
     
    yousuff likes this.
  15. defapinator

    defapinator New Fapstronaut

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    I am 5'7" and I have dated in America, Australia and Asia. In America I'm short, in Asia I'm a bit above average. Your height will affect you in two ways.

    Firstly yes. Most women prefer a guy who is taller than them. You should accept this as one of the disadvantages you are working with, that is fine, everyone has strengths and weaknesses. You will win by downplaying your disadvantage and playing to your strengths. Your height will be most important during first impressions. Once a woman gets to know you a bit she may relax her expectations about it and start to appreciate you for other things like your personality (so have a good one). Statistically however couples where the woman is taller are rare so go after girls who are shorter than you. Favor meeting girls in situations where you're sitting together or online where your height is just a number.
    Secondly you are not going to get attention in public the way that a taller guy would. For instance go to a nightclub with a taller friend who doesn't look like Quasimodo. You will notice that he gets way more looks from girls than you do. The bottom line here is you have to compensate by approaching more girls and being more aggressive. Not in a creepy way, but you are going to have to be more assertive than your tall friend, and you're going to get blown out more too, so prepare yourself.

    So yes it's a disadvantage but honestly, there are ways around it. Accept that in certain situations you won't be the big dog in the room, and remember you can just register on a dating site and set your filter to girls who are at least an inch shorter than you, and it'll never be an issue.
     
    Islanders190 likes this.
  16. Islanders190

    Islanders190 Fapstronaut

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    I'm 5 7 i dated a girl who was 5 10 when I was 18. she said she didn't date guys shorter than her but I was probably the only one and will remain the only one she will date that's shorter. that was a big no no for her but I was the exception. since it ended bad with us she would play the short card with me when dissing me to her friends who became mine at the time. another girl when I was 23 was 5 6 but loved to wear heels she said how she doesn't like to be taller than her man. it didn't work out with us because I wasn't into her like that. but I'll admit height is a insecurity I have also. if girls reject me over height than we aren't a good match to begin with. if there going to turn me down based on height than it is what it is. but I would be lieng if I didn't admit height is something I struggle with.

     
    Last edited: Jun 2, 2017
  17. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    I'm 5'0"
    And my SO is 6'4"
    However my last guy was 5'2"
    I think that is just something that shouldnt matter.
    My personal opinion on height.
     

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