I first watched porn in 2012 and it just went downhill from there. 6 years I have been fighting this monster and just when things are looking up, I get backtracked.I used to just MO before then but I still hated it. I want a life that's PMO free. I think part of the problem is that I have never opened up to anyone about it. Always kept it inside due to the shame. I come from a religious background, christian to be specific and it's just the thought of opening up to someone without the fear of being judged or seen as a deviant. I have known about nofap for close to a year or longer and It's encouraging to see people aiming for a better life. Am too paranoid about posting things online but after last night, I decided something's got to give. So created this post to put it out there in the universe that I have a problem with PMO. Thinking about talking to one of the pastors at church tomorrow. Just blurting it out and saying I need help, will see if I have the courage. Am so pissed off coz I didn't get much sleep either and I am working on grad school applications. Wasted time watching porn instead of sleeping so I can have more time for my applications today. This thing is really destructive. I believe having a positive attitude goes a long way and I have been working on mine. Suffered from low self esteem and negativity growing up and I am working to change that. I don't know how often I will post on here. But today is a brand new day and I will live it to the fullest.