Having a problem when home alone.

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Blackjedireturns, Jun 9, 2019.

  1. Blackjedireturns

    Blackjedireturns Fapstronaut

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    What's up guys I could use some advice about my current mental state.
    Ok so long story short I'm in a position in my life right now were I have decided not to go back to PMO ever!
    I have a ton of benefits from boost of self confidence and more energy and my face a skin feel younger and more motivated then ever to achieve my goals.
    I have noticed something though about my self when I'm home alone I seems to have no motivation to put my mind to things that I must . Most importantly my business.
    I think I might know why , see when I use to be home alone I use to indulge in my PMO for house and house but now that I dont do that I feel like I'm forced to not do PMO and it takes so much energy that I cant focus on anything else.
    I was hoppeing this feeling would go away but it doesn't. I'm 35 days in and 8 just want some advice on what I can do to be more productive when I'm alone at home. I have goals and things to achieve but I cant seem to motivate myself to put my mind to it ONLY when I'm home alone be6the old me we use this time to PMO.
    Thanks for the read guys
     
  2. properWood

    properWood Fapstronaut

    Hey there, the decision is good, you saw you have an addiction and you decided to get it under control.

    I could recommend a couple of things that you could do, and the most important one is to not force it. Your addiction came from a place of lacking something, you developed it to replace a need that you cannot fulfil or to cover some emotional pain that you avoid (it's not criticism, we all run away from pain).

    Am I safe to assume that being home alone was the trigger to your addiction? In that case, whenever you feel the urge, try to sit with it and notice the feelings and sensation in your body, stop doing any activity and just notice the feelings. They'll pass after a while. That will help your body overcome over time the emotional pain.

    The second thing I can recommend is to create a schedule with things you enjoy and things you need to do. Berating yourself to do something will only come with resistance. It's as if you'd have to negotiate with a child that's inside you: let's play, then let's do some homework and then we play again. So do something you enjoy, get a task done, then do another thing you enjoy.

    The more you force yourself into being productive, the less you will be. No one wants to be a slave, least does the child inside each of us that wants to play.

    Hope it helps!
     
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  3. Blackjedireturns

    Blackjedireturns Fapstronaut

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    Great tips my friend and yes being alone was my trigger so when I am my mind starts to remember all the things I would do alone. So it distracts me from doing those things. And I'm going to start doing that as of tonight just give myself small tasks at first then I'll build from their. I have decided to NOT pmo ever again I'm on day 35 might as well be day 3005 lol
    I really appreciate your tips and I think they will help.hows your journey going?
     
  4. WhiskeyNeat

    WhiskeyNeat Fapstronaut

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    I can relate to this. however, for me I feel like the adult within me wants to be done with PMO! But the boy inside me enjoyed PMO and still wants to do it. He doesn’t want to leave that behind. So when I’m alone and I have the time to do it it’s so hard to be disciplined enough to stay the course. I’m fairly new to this so I hope the adult in me can win those battles over time. Congrats on 35 days! Celebrate that!
     
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  5. properWood

    properWood Fapstronaut

    I recommend this:
    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/a-primer-on-dealing-with-negative-emotions.235876/

    The child inside you is seeking to escape some painful emotions.
     
  6. Pursuit__Of__Happiness

    Pursuit__Of__Happiness Fapstronaut

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    Keep hanging in there, my friend. Addictions are built over a large period of time. It's natural for you to feel that way. But slowly over a period of time, those old memories will fade away. Till then, you can think of bringing some change in your life, which could give you a sense of freshness. Maybe you could work somewhere else for some time or you could try a new activity or hobby, meditation, exercise, cooking, prayer...something that gives you some freshness in your life.

    One more point that I would like to highlight is ...focus more on what you want to do, rather what you don't want to do.
    This actually works. When we focus too much on things that are not working or negative, it tends to depress us further. On the hand, having a dream, a goal that really means to us, feels us with a sense of joy, a sense of satisfaction.
     
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  7. Blackjedireturns

    Blackjedireturns Fapstronaut

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    Thanks my friend for your tips. I think I what I'm gonna do is NOT work at home and when I am alone I gonna do something different I got a few books that I want to read and I'll think I'll start readying a few pages at a time.
    How are you going with your journey?
     

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