Have you heard of FANOS?

Tell her fucking yesterday, or you end up where I am.

 

Thanks for this. Some the concepts suggested here we're doing already including the daily check in, seeing where we both are, and of course the cuddling. A great reference!

 

I am sharing this information with a couple I am close friends with. I think this will help them out a lot <3

 

It is "struggles" fupornwife. I saw it when I was on the link for the original article For instance, with these two sobriety is not really an issue but the working towards a goal separately or together is a good alternate usage.

 

Bless your heart! I just got over one myself, I hope you get some rest and feel better as soon as humanly possible that quote is spot on too haha.

 

I like it lol Feel better soon lady!

 

Thank you so much for posting this info. A little over a month ago I read this info from one of you links and it has helped tremendously.
It's been about 5 weeks, that my husband and I have been doing FANOS. And it has been beneficial for us both. At first it was difficult because I'd gotten used to ignoring my feelings and trying to escape them. In all honesty I struggled with every letter of FANOS when we started. But it became this thing we did every night before bed, and I started looking forward to it. It has spawned so many amazing conversations, and I know more about the man I've spent the last 9 years of my life with. I can't sing its praises enough.
We did the cuddling for about a week, because when this began I didn't want be touched by my husband. During that week, with the help of FANOS, we were able to set touch boundaries and now 30 minutes of cuddling isn't necessary, we've worked out our own system.

 

This is my first post on the forum and while I should probably do an introduction post first, I just had to post here because I'm so excited to see FANOS! I'm an huge fan of using FANOS. My husband is a recovering PMO addict and we used FANOS several times a week right after disclosure six years ago. It was our "safe place" to talk about everything without fear of shame, judgment, or anger. We loved the affirmation part because it was a great reminder that our relationship was so much more than the addiction. I'm so glad that the word is out about FANOS! It rocks!

 

Question - when you say "if sobriety is no longer an issue", is that a possibility? Because that is where most of my uncomfortableness comes from. My spouse doesn't seem concerned at all about any form of relapse. When I ask how he can be so sure it will never happen again, he tells me he is never going back to that place. I get it, but, that goes against the whole idea of addiction. I guess what I'm questioning is can someone actually kick an addiction. It appears this way to me in my relationship, but, it goes against what we know to be true of addiction.

 

I haven't heard of neither FANOS nor scheduled cuddling until reading your post. I have promised myself quitting porn and not going back. I can already see and feel a huge difference in our relationship! My spouse too (she mentioned it this week). I'm afraid of talking about it with her. I think she couldn't bear to know I was using porn (I was disgusted of myself) for years. I am actually very ashamed of it...

Yet, I think that scheduled cuddling could very much benefit our relationship. I am really looking forward to it!! Thank you @ILoathePwife!

 

Thanks for your reply. I followed the link in your signature and read the posts. I believe you're right, I should tell her. Though I really don't know how, I am too much afraid of her reaction, I fell like such a coward. I promise I'll try soon.

 

Perhaps do some research on this forum and/or on-line regarding how to handle a disclosure like this? It's hard and horrid for both people, but there are ways to make it less damaging for her.

 

Thank you for your encouraging words. I'll do my best.