Has anyone ever overcome their sissy fetish? Update: SOME HOPE FOR ME

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Burundi24, Jun 14, 2019.

  1. Burundi24

    Burundi24 Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys,

    So I have never really read one single story of a person that really did sucessfully overcome his sissy fetish and led a decent relationship with an more or less ordinary sex life afterwards.

    I truly start to believe that NoFap doesn't really help people that actually have a sissy fetish. I mean you don't need to get rid of the fetish 100% but the goal is to have a normal, happy relationship with women.
    Most Nofap "sucess storys" related to sissy porn only involve a few positive short terms or are from persons that only suffered a really short time from the fetish.

    So is there a sucess story of a true sissy porn addict?
     
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2019
  2. Aibwen

    Aibwen Fapstronaut

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    I too suffer from this same fetish, I’m wondering too if anyone has overcome it.

    I used to watch hypno videos, crossdress, the whole nine yards and interact with other men on Grindr and even sniffies, looking for meet ups. Used to be so much worse during my drinking, but since I stopped it’s been better. Have to keep a clear mind to know what’s right and wrong.

    Stay strong.
     
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  3. _shariid_

    _shariid_ Fapstronaut

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    Hello,

    Before I answer the question, let me establish a few things:

    My situation:
    I too have this issue and I wonder the same as well, I have not gone as far as cross dressing or altering my body in any way, however, my sexuality has been all over the place and I know it's not in the right place: I have been attracted to girls ever since I was in elementary (yet the male genitalia turns me on); I have only dated girls and don't desire to date a guy at all (yet the idea of being f***** by a guy in p*rn turns me on). I want: my libido back, my sexual preferences back to normal, and an out (to which I'm sure many can relate).

    What's up with this sick fetish:
    I keep hearing that s***y PMO is like hitting rock bottom in the porn world, ((and it's true)), our minds are in search of the next big thing that can give us that dopamine rush, and s***y PMO gives us exactly what we're looking for: more extreme porn that's different from the "boring stuff", and with that, more dopamine.

    So, it is all fine and dandy that we have established this, however, the question was: is there really a way out of this sick fetish? The answer: yes, it is entirely possible, but how?

    The Rationale:
    Getting addicted to p*rn is exactly like getting addicted to a drug: you take some, you get hooked, you keep taking it, you need more, the drug your taking doesn't work as well, you take more, more doesn't work anymore, you need more extreme drugs, you get worse.

    Until you stop taking the drugs entirely.

    With this comes withdrawals, and that's the tough part: doubts that you're not getting better, that it's not worth it, and that you can't do it invade your mind.

    You must keep pushing forwards, you must free yourself, know what you're doing this for, know that you can get better if you really put your mind to it.

    I say this not only to you, but myself as I begin this 90 day journey, maybe I wont get better who knows?
    The idea of this is to get away from whats causing me the issue in the first place, and the hope is that I get better: I'm stopping the poison from spreading and hope to heal.

    That's my two cents.

    Best regards,
    - Some Random 17 year old

    P.S. I swear that I've read s***y recovery stories you've just got to look for them, and if you can't find one, become the success story.
     
  4. krdt

    krdt Fapstronaut

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    My guess is there is many people who overcome the fetish. Thing is, once you have overcome something like that do you think you're going to hang around on the forums?

    I think many move on and want to put porn including forums about porn behind them.

    I feel my TS porn viewing desires diminishing rapidly as I approach 30days.
     
  5. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    Probably if you're into this stuff there's not that much to heal.
     
  6. krdt

    krdt Fapstronaut

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    Please explain.
     
  7. Burundi24

    Burundi24 Fapstronaut

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    For how long do you have these fantasies? Dou really have sissy fetish or did you just occasionally watch TS Porn because it gives you an extra kick. This is a huge difference.
    I don't believe that there absolutely no real sucess stories out there if there were so many people who overcome the fetish. Yes, you probably wanna stay away from porn forumes but there should still be a few people who want to help other addicts by sharing their sucess story.

    Then why can you not post even one?
     
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  8. chapuleta

    chapuleta Fapstronaut

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    I have a inate foot fetish and na indulced femdom fantasy, so my femdom fantasy is getting weaker and weaker while im on PMO NoFap, but my foot fetish keeps alive on my brain. Do you know if your sissy fetish is inate or just indulced.
     
  9. Burundi24

    Burundi24 Fapstronaut

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    I think all fetishes are innate. Many people are watching porn daily without developing any weird fetishes. Porn can make you realize what turns you on or intensify a fetish but it rarely creates a whole new fetish.
    Maybe you try out a new category for a while to get this extra dopamin but if you're really watching a specific type of porn for a long period this fetish is probably inate.
    In my case I had a crossdresser fetish even before I have started watching porn. Due to porn this fetish escalated to something even more weird/extreme and became addictive but porn doesn't make people go fully sissy that don't have some kind of predisposition for this kind of stuff.
    I don't know how my sexual interests would have developed if I never watched porn. I think without porn this would just be an harmless little kink but porn even made me question my gender.
     
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  10. _shariid_

    _shariid_ Fapstronaut

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  11. Tiger uppercut!

    Tiger uppercut! Moderator Assistant
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  12. chapuleta

    chapuleta Fapstronaut

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    But i know i was indulced to femdom because i a lot of femdom porn stuffs are directioned to foot fetish people, where the actress act like Dominant femdom showing their feet and saying us to worship them because we are foot slaves. And i remember that i Always entered thaht vídeos because i saw feet on thumbnails, but on the vídeo there is a femdom scene with the foot fetish so my brain started to associate foot fetish with femdom. So i started like a foot fetish lover, and finished like a foot fetish slave hahahahahaha. Can you understand?

    I never go watch femdom stuffs directioned to chastity, cages, ropes, whips , feminization, these things are a real turn off to me. but if i saw a feet i was that all about the foot.
     
  13. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    I used to be into the sissy fetish, and now I'm over it, I'll give the (short) story below. (turned out long, sorry)

    I should also say as mentioned above, a lot of people likely move on and don't hang around to post how their life is going now. I'm still working on PMO, but the sissy stuff has been out of my life for a few years now.

    ---------------------------------------------------------

    My sissy years:

    Before I thought porn was a problem, I believed I was destined to live a sissy lifestyle.

    I cross dressed, joined sissy online forums, watched sissy porn, went to fetish nightclubs, only wanted to date women who would accept this (which was none I might add), and was slowly becoming interested in male encounters.

    So many things about this lifestyle didn't feel 'right'. I always had shame after an orgasm. And I had frequent changes in my desires and values.

    Every week I changed my life vision from extremely feminine (full body wax, living alone and dressing up) - to extremely masculine - (building muscle, always being dominant in interactions with women). Both were to compensate a lack of connection and meaning in my life.

    This turned into an identity crisis, and looking back was probably the pivotal moment where I researched my lifestyle and found NoFap.

    -------------------------------------------------------------

    My recovery years:

    Fast forward a few years with non-stop NoFap streak attempts (from days to weeks and a few over a month).

    Now my life has become a lot clearer. I didn't just minimise my porn use. I actively looked at my life, what I liked, and what I did not. And this is VERY broad. Diet, exercise, career, friends, what type of girls I like, what hobbies make me feel alive, this is all HUGE.

    Sexual fantasising should be kept to while we're in the shower just before having sex. Life is full of so many more important things to put our energy into! If you take one thing from this, please let it be that.

    While things are not right in our lives, we use porn to mask our emotions. I also believe we can get so lost in abandoning our goals and values, that we look to maximise our fantasies so they may become like a reality.

    This may be constantly paying for sex workers, always treating women like trash/or like goddesses, or trying to be this alternate personality as a sissy who has no real-world obligations or consequences.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------

    Right now:

    One thing I can say with a lot of certainty, is that I'm not certain of a lot of things.

    As I start to self-develop and depend less and less on porn to escape my problems, I notice many things in my life that I really want to change. It never stops, and it shouldn't.

    Hard to explain, but a lot of things we think are certain or just 'should be', will actually become a distant memory.

    Try not to look at sissy fetish as 'wrong' or 'right'. Instead, look at what you truly value in life, and if the time and energy put into sexual play time and fantasising is taking away from more valued activities.

    And for what it's worth - and some good motivation - when I am around women I no longer have a desire to wear what they are wearing. Seriously, I didn't think that desire would disappear but it did!

    Intimacy is a lot more fulfilling. I'm not asking or secretly wishing they will do A B C + fetish scenarios while I wear a collar... It's just natural desire and good fun. That said, some fetish is still desired, just nothing crazy, and it's not a big deal if it doesn't happen.

    It takes time, but imagine the man you want to be. Take actions today. And one day you'll look back and be glad you changed your path, I know I am.


    Ps. I know this is a huge post, but as there's not many 'sissy success' stories, I wanted to give a broad response. Please feel free to PM or reply here if you have any specific questions.
     
  14. _shariid_

    _shariid_ Fapstronaut

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    I have a question, has your libido and sexual preferences returned back to normal? I don't get aroused to girls like I used to, will this change? This is something I currently struggle with, and if I could get some perspective into as what to expect that'd be great.
     
  15. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    Yes for the most part. I'm 100% into women, and I have a stronger desire for the right women. I still need a good amount of time away from PMO though.

    It can give you a more balanced view of a partner too. A girl who comes across as a narcissist, pretty as she may be, is still not worth the effort. Whereas the old me would have paid for her expensive dates, put up with rude behaviour and considered myself lucky.

    Aside for time on NoFap, I think keeping busy is also key to adopting this mindset. One where you are basically happy to avoid excessive fantasising, avoid potentially disastrous partners, and put effort into good ones you meet.


    As for what to expect, I think it's best not to give it too much thought...

    What I mean by that, is that we use labels and expectations to define our lives and give us a sense of security. But maybe we need to let go more? Forget what you 'know' right now, concentrate on your core values and see what you think in a month, or in a few months.
     
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  16. Roady

    Roady Fapstronaut

    No matter what kind of femdom stuff you are addicted to. The mechanism is always the same:
    If you degrade yourself before a haughty woman, the arousal is your benefit. It's not de degrading that you become addicted to, it's the arousal it gives you.

    Question of course is why a man let hims seduce to degrade himself and make himself a slave.
     
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  17. EndOfTheRoad

    EndOfTheRoad Fapstronaut

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    You are maybe confusing "inate fetishes" with "very early traumas that make you vulnerable to such fetishes".

    Every sissy I've met, interacted with etc. when asked about their childhood or adolescence they admit that they had feelings of inadequacy (usually due to parents not knowing how to love them). If you add to that some feelings of not being manly enough because you can't get a girl or because you don't feel you are good enough as a man, then you have the right ingredients to be poisoned by sissy porn.
     
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  18. Burundi24

    Burundi24 Fapstronaut

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    I had a pretty normal childhood. I don't really think I had strong feelings of inadequacy and I still developed a sissy fetish. I had moments in my life where I didn't feel manly enough because I couldn't get a girl but this happens to alot of people and doesn't make them go full sissy.
    Saying that every sissy fetishist has some kind of trauma is just incorrect
     
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  19. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    It is correct, though the word "trauma" is too restrictive or too serious in some cases. Sometimes it's just being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Cross-dressing for example like you describe you had it, is part of gender identity disorder (not going to call it dysphoria cause it's not). So the sissy thing built up on that.

    Whether you had a specific identifiable trauma or just simple problems of relating to parents or even more neutral stuff like crossdressing once and liking it too much and nobody stopping you (which they should have), it all leads to gender identity issues.

    Which in turn will lead to sissy. But the basis of a sissy is a gender identity problem.
     
    Last edited: Jun 20, 2019
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  20. Roady

    Roady Fapstronaut

    You definitely speak out an important thing here.
    I personally believe every person on earth has early trauma's. One more than another. But nobody raise up in perfectly safety and love and care.

    Another thing is that the human is intended to walk away from his pain as it isn't there.
    Pain only will become visible in a very safe and light atmosphere.
     
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