Has anyone accomplished no ogling? How long did it take?

I stopped having libido when my ex-girlfriend left me so I have stopped staring at women a year and a half ago.

 

The method of "bouncing the eyes" detailed in Everyman's Battle is indispensable in this regard. It is a huge help to combating this issue. The first look is sometimes out of our control; but the second look is *always* a choice. Make a better choice instead. Look somewhere else.

 

As for how long it took -- After a lifetime of ogling, you can train yourself to use the bounce method if you use it consistently for 2-3 weeks. They are very challenging weeks. But the habit does not need to make many months to achieve.

 

In The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida, there is an interesting point about ogling or finding women attractive. He basically says to realize that there will never be a time where he doesn't find other women attractive. It is a natural response. Deida says to inhale the energy and let it inspire him in such a way that he feels that the world is blessed to have beauty but that's it. He also says not to let the energy get caught up in swollen fantasies or appendages. I think this mindset helps a lot. I personally have a Gf and when I see other girls that are attractive, I simply notice them and let go. I don't feel any guilt or shame about it though.

 

I’m late to this thread but I think ogling and noticing beauty are teetering on a thin line and if you’re insecure, both behaviors look the same. It sucks to see your partner “notice” attractive members of the opposite sex but I’m sure they also notice attractive members of the same sex too. Your eyes distinguish beauty as an autoresponse.

If you see a pretty girl or a handsome man, he saw them too. It’s not a question of character until they begin desiring them. Of course one should be respectful when they’re in the company of their partner so they don’t rouse suspicion.

 

I do really like that expression: bounce. No lingering. No second thought about it.

 

This may be something to think about with the book Every Man's Battle.

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2017/06/every-mans-battle-is-wrong/

 

I agree with the shortcomings of Everyman's Battle. It does put too much of the "blame" for PMO on women. This is entirely false. PMO is the responsibility of each man who is tempted by it to address.

While it would be silly to say that literally every single man has a struggle with lust, I think the stats on P use bear out that it is the majority position. Most men do. Again, this is not the fault of women. At all. P exists because there is a demand for it. That demand skews very heavily male.

I recommend the "bounce method" and mention Everyman's Battle because that is where I first encountered it. This practical technique is very helpful. My recommendation of this technique is not meant to be a blanket endorsement of everything posited in the book.

I should have made this more clear. Thanks for providing me the opportunity to do so!

 

A return to morality in the world would also include a return to female modesty. Many eschew this as unacceptable, but it stands nonetheless as a part of the truth. It isn't a matter of force, but a matter of acceptance in the reality of nature and what is required of men to remain clean. That being said, it is especially difficult for men who have fallen into errors with lust, and then that isn't the fault of immodesty at all. However, with the rampant pornography of our times, we must realize that lust has been a problem for nearly every male in the digital world. Modesty would go a long way to help the world be a better place, as well as eradicating pornography.