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Has any introvert in here try meetup social website?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by JensonIknora, Aug 3, 2018.

  1. JensonIknora

    JensonIknora Fapstronaut

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    I would like to meet new ppl to expand my social circle. Problem is I am not really good at socializing with others, especially with strangers. However, I come to a point in my life where I seriously need to start to meet more people, to get myself with more activities.

    I just wish I am like those guys who can talk about anything when meet with strangers, and maintain that.

    Please advise. Thanks
     
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  2. vitatertot

    vitatertot Fapstronaut

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    Start going outside to places for any and all reasons. Go to the grocery, movie theater, whatever. Just be in social places. Then start saying hello to cashiers, clerks, workers, whatever. When it seems like it'd be weird not to it's a lot easier to. Then start asking them how their day has been. Don't be weird about it, just work at it. Push yourself a little until it becomes natural and a habit. You'll find it's easier when you don't PMO. Social anxiety goes away slowly. Then, find somewhere to be involved in. Go start martial arts, rock climbing, something active and fun, that you can go to routinely. Anywhere that you routinely go to, you'll start to get to know the people that go there. Are you in college? What age group are you? (Don't need specifics, just so I can know what place in life you're at. Socializing is way easier when you're in college btw.)
    Good luck man.

    And don't use social media meetup sites. That's kinds dumb and defeats the purpose of developing natural social skills. No hard feelings though.
     
  3. I'm not sure if you know what you're talking about. For example, they're not "social media" meetups.

    I've been to a few meetups and they were fine. One was for playing games such as table tennis / ping-pong. Another was for board games, another was for couchsurfing, another was just a general meetup as far as I remember.
     
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  4. vitatertot

    vitatertot Fapstronaut

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    My bad lmao. Mistype there, bt i thoght yo were talking abot dating apps. Yeah that seems totally fine. Btw my keyboard is bsted atm.
     
  5. JensonIknora

    JensonIknora Fapstronaut

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    I am working adult. 28 years old. I generally think meetup is a a good site where I can get to know which activities to join. But I want to beat my social anxiety. Especially in a big group. Somehow I feel that what I said isn't important and I will get embarrassed about it
     
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  6. vitatertot

    vitatertot Fapstronaut

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    yeah it's tough. How long have you been doin nofap? You'll find that after a few weeks you have strong urges. You can either give into them, or they essentially force you to be active. Use that energy and go do things. Talk to people. Don't sit at home. How in shape are you? (Extremely, In shape, average, out of shape, overweight?) If you're in decent shape, consider joining a martial arts studio. Takes up a lot of time, get to know people, and normally plenty of girls. If overweight, join a gym. Start doin some cardio, work your way into strength training. Find ways to improve yourself in a space that is in public, so you get to know people. At work, take extra time to ask people, not just girls, start with guys if you're uncomfortable, and just ask them how they are doing. Like in a sincere inquisitive way. Show that you care. Great conversation starter. Just consistently make small talk one on one with people that you're acquaintances with, talk to clerks, etc. . . say hello to random people on the street that you make eye contact with. It's a process, work with small stuff, then as you get more natural at just meeting new people, and nofap will help with this, start arranging stuff. When you're starting stuff people come.
     
  7. P-Free

    P-Free Fapstronaut

    Yes, I have tried MeetUp.com and it's awesome. I've joined a few groups and am meeting some very friendly, welcoming people. Best of luck to you!
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  8. I'm an introvert. why would i do that ?

    and also it don't matter how big the 'SOCIAL CIRCLE', larger the circle, more waste time running around.

    No matter who small the circle is Quality matters. Even if it's only you in that circle.
     
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  9. vitatertot

    vitatertot Fapstronaut

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    Gonna be straight with you man, not true at all. As you quit your addiction you'll find that so many of your antisocial "introverted" tendencies were just your addiction taking over. Being introverted means you RECHARGE on your own, not that you're antisocial. Everyone, and I repeat, EVERYONE needs community. It's how we get through life, and without it, you quite literally will go insane. Don't believe that lie that you don't need people because you're "introverted". Quit porn AND masturbation for several months and then see how you feel about it.
     
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  10. Mfsx4dm2

    Mfsx4dm2 Fapstronaut

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    Couchsurfing also has events and can be good, especially if you live in a big city. Often attendees are travellers passing through, which can be good practice if you find socialising hard as: 1) you may feel like there’s less to lose and 2) small talk will be easier. “Where are you from?” Etc.

    If you really want to expand your circle, only focus on 1 or 2 people at each event, chat to them all night and don’t be afraid to ask for their numbers, social media or whatever. Don’t wait to be asked. Then try to arrange to meet up with them again, first at another meetup or couchsurfing event and eventually outside of that I.e “fancy meeting up for a beer next Tuesday”?
     
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  11. Mfsx4dm2

    Mfsx4dm2 Fapstronaut

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    I’ve found as I’ve got older and have more stories/life experience/reference points I find it easier to talk to strangers. It’s not something that can really be forced and it may seem obvious but some topics that tend to come up with brand new people are:

    -Work (what do you do?)
    -Home (where do you live?/where are you from?)
    -Surroundings (what do you think of this place?)
    -Sport (playing and watching)
    -Politics (avoid debates and focus on themes)
    -Music

    Also, do some research into active listening, people like to be listened to and enjoy being asked for more details. Take a genuine interest in other people’s interests and ask follow up questions rather than reverting to telling your own stories :

    -why do you think that? what led you to that opinion? Do you find a lot of people disagree with that?
    -how long have you worked there? Are you ever tempted to leave?
    -which football team do you support? How come, is that a family tradition?
     
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  12. JensonIknora

    JensonIknora Fapstronaut

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    Yes man. I find it mostly my life is revolving around my work, and also my workout. None of this is really that interesting. I do agree as we aged, we tend to have more stories to tell, as that's experience.

    Thanks though
     
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  13. Very true... :)
     
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  14. Mfsx4dm2

    Mfsx4dm2 Fapstronaut

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    What I do for a living isn’t that interesting either but some people’s jobs are. Ask questions and actively listen then ask more questions. People like talking about themselves.

    Also if all you’re doing is working and working out I assume (possibly incorrectly) that you have a bit of money in the bank. If so I suggest for your next trip look into a group tour of somewhere or combine it with an activity like a group long distance bike ride. In this environment people are often in the same boat and conversation will naturally flow around the activity you’re doing. It won’t solve all your issues overnight (nothing will) but it is a proactive step towards meeting new people and becoming a more interesting person with something to say.

    Cheaper options include: book clubs, joining a sports team and volunteering.
     
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