Hahaha, 90 days no porn...again!

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by EarthDragon, May 4, 2015.

  1. EarthDragon

    EarthDragon Fapstronaut

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    So, as the title says, I've reached 90 days the second time as well. Unfortunately my MO counter is a bit behind as I tried to keep MO without P, but after 3 weeks I decided to give that one up as well. Well, to be honest my gf helped me with that decision...anyway. :D

    Just a few ideas that helped me:

    -Just because I have an urge, it doesn't mean that I have to do something about it instantly. Urges come and go. Do you remember every urge you had and didn't react to it? No you don't. That's it, they don't matter that much.

    -Just because I feel like shit it still doesn't mean that I have to do anything about it. Especially not PMO. I know it elevates the mood, and makes you feel good but there are like one billion other things that can do just that and they are more healthy. I have the right to feel shit. Just like the urges, they pass.

    (Frickin' culture trains us to act instantly on everything. Buy now, have now, consume now! If something hurts let's take pills by the dozen. Fix everything immediately. Wrinkles, body weight, feeling bad, feeling good, tech stuff, sexual urges, whatever. Man, it's just sick. No waiting anymore, no patience, no persistence...damn.)

    - Real life accountability partner from the opposite sex who never had problems with PMO (means: never really used it) and who cares for you and open minded enough to let themselves educated about PMO addiction.
    I admit you have to have some balls for this. You drag your shame into the light. Gives tons of power, for you don't want to disappoint someone who cares for you. Also it's better if the other never had pmo problems for their lifestyle can be an example how to live without PMO. Or in other terms what it's like not having pmo in your life and still living normal.
    Opposite sex is not a must, but helped me twice now. Also, good luck finding another guy who never or very rarely pmo-s. (I'm a guy as well.)

    I still have 10 days until I reach my best streak, but I'm still very happy with what I got. Stay strong people!
     
    feo1966, transmute, Dieu and 10 others like this.
  2. Limeaid

    Limeaid Guest

    A great post! I think it is very important to involve someone who has not been involved in PMO, whether it is a woman or a man because they can identify with how real sexuality feels and what it looks like.

    Congrats and keep going :)
     
    EarthDragon likes this.
  3. EarthDragon

    EarthDragon Fapstronaut

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    Thanks Limeaid. I see your posts everywhere and they are usually full of wisdom, care, empathy and encouragement. It's great to have you here on this site. :)
     
  4. themammothrept

    themammothrept Community Manager
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    This is why I am glad you are around, Limeaid. :)

    Also, EarthDragon, majors props for the 30 days! I really liked what you had to say about the culture. That's true. We are trained up in this social construct of instant gratification that we just go through our life bouncing from once stimulation to the next, always chasing happiness, never finding it. The account of humanity our culture gives us never gives us anything to do, but lets us chase after pleasure after pleasure, which just makes us slaves to our impulses.
     
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  5. Kurapika

    Kurapika Guest

    Very well-said! And congratulations.
     
  6. Limeaid

    Limeaid Guest

    @EarthDragon @mumchance Thank you both for the kind words! You have no idea how much they mean to me :). You both are an inspiration!
     
    themammothrept likes this.
  7. pmhappy

    pmhappy Fapstronaut

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    how do you create a new post, thread on this website can you guide me, im new, will watch your video, but plz help me, i can only reply as of new, how to create new posts/threads
     
  8. Limeaid

    Limeaid Guest

    Where do you want to post it? Find the appropriate section, open it and right on the top right you will see a blue "post new thread" button. Click on it and post!
     
    pmhappy likes this.
  9. pmhappy

    pmhappy Fapstronaut

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    thanks brother
     
  10. themammothrept

    themammothrept Community Manager
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    Sister, pmhappy.

    @Limeaid, thank you so much, you are an inspiration too. It is so good of you to take time out of your day to help us addicts. You are truly a helpful and compassionate soul.
     
    pmhappy likes this.
  11. Cooldude4

    Cooldude4 Fapstronaut

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    wonderful, congrats and keep it up
     
    EarthDragon likes this.
  12. The Silent Witness

    The Silent Witness Fapstronaut

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    novel insights ! Great !! Congrats...Keep going...
     
    transmute and EarthDragon like this.
  13. Abu X

    Abu X Fapstronaut

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    Hi Earthdragon, thats a top thread Thank you.
    A few words of wisdom there and appreciated by others. Good luck on your recovery i'm on early stages and i've gone in cold turkey so might relapse, i hope not. Keep on posting to inspire us newbies and well done to your GF for giving u the support. I wish you have the best sexual relationship together and that will b the replacement from the porn life.

    Good luck and take care
     
    EarthDragon likes this.
  14. EarthDragon

    EarthDragon Fapstronaut

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    Thanks Abu X. I just wanted to reflect on what you said a bit. First of all, a relapse is no coincidence. It doesn't happen "just like that". There are like a hundred things preceding it and you can consciously intervene at any step.
    -You decide to PMO
    -You switch on the computer, phone, whatever
    -You open browser, type, search etc
    -You undress a bit, prepare tissue, lube, whatever
    -You start watching and doing your thing
    -You keep doing it for a while...could be even hours.
    The whole process doesn't happen at an instant, and you can always say no somewhere. It's like a slide, the further you are down, the harder to stop, but still, it can be done. So I hope you will not decide to relapse. :)

    Maybe I just add one more thing, because it can cause some misunderstanding or confusion. Yes, I have a gf and we are very happy together, but we are not having sex (or anything else besides a kiss) because we are not married yet. So I have no outlet for my sexual energies.

    Thank for all of your responses, I greatly appreciate them!
     
    transmute, octonacho and Kurapika like this.
  15. Abu X

    Abu X Fapstronaut

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    Wow no sex before marraige good on you mate, i thought that was a thing in the past. Only left in some cultures. Well done and thanks again for the extra advice
     
  16. NewStart2015h

    NewStart2015h Fapstronaut

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    Hit the nail bang on the head. This is a very inspiring thought which is so true. We act on urges once we get accustomed to acting on them and that becomes a habitual or default move.

    Massive congratulation on your 90 days and thank you for this post. The most inspiring one I've read and it has already helped me a great deal. I am now also trying to quit smoking with the same logic. My urges for nicotine will come but I have the choice to smoke a cigarette. I know rationally if I don't, I will go through some withdrawal symptoms but in the end I will be fine. What's some withdrawal symptoms to an overall more healthy and happy life.

    Same applies to porn. I like what you spoke about to do wtih our instant gratification culture. We have a lot to learn from basic and cliche proverbs like: "Rome wasn't built in a day". Looking at such a simple and throw away quote it is so meaningful. We cannot expect things to change overnight, we can't expect to have a breakthrough moment one day and suddenly feel better. Life is a massive journey and we must be prepared to change ourselves little by little and look to develop ourselves positively in the long term.

    Good luck with you post 90 days!
     
    Cooldude4 and EarthDragon like this.
  17. omarzick

    omarzick Fapstronaut

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    J am going to stay strong man I am going
     
  18. Fargo23

    Fargo23 Fapstronaut

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    Congratulations, great post.
     
  19. Andrew0268

    Andrew0268 Fapstronaut

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    It's not MO if someone else does it for you. FYI ;)

    Nice post and a lot of good ideas in there. Thanks
     
  20. EarthDragon

    EarthDragon Fapstronaut

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    Thanks everyone for the encouragement. I just wanted to add, that I made it to a hundred! So now I'm officially a member of the three digit warrior clan. :)
     
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