Today I had a dispute with my dorm neighbour about a minor thing she does all the time. It pissed me of every time and today I had a small outburst of anger. It was all stuffed inside and I could barely control it. She made the issue bigger and send an e-mail to the administration and made it look as if I threatened her life. I felt like a child throwing a tantrum, I don't even know if I was right or not. I doubt my own behaviour. I felt like I lost because I got angry and annoyed about something that didn't change after I complained. I'm ashamed of myself. It's an unpleasant feeling. My thoughts were racing and I could watch them, they were "She wants to suppress you", "you have no power", "you are ridiculous", "you will suffer for complaining and getting angry", "your needs don't matter". Really I have trouble assessing the situation, I take these kinds of situations far too personal and there is a fear of consequences even if I'm right. I called a friend who helped me calm down and he told me I made a mistake by getting angry at her directly, women hate confrontation. I felt like an idiot for getting angry. After calming down there was someting deeper bothering me. I doubted my goal to get a college degree. I don't know if I will ever make it with these kind of emotional problems. I know I have anger issues and PMO, smoking and gaming were ways to suppress it. Self improvement also felt like a way to run away from my problems, like a drug or punishment just to feel better. I don't know how to really improve myself and it makes me feel helpless. My father can't give me any good advice and no one in my family can really help me through this process actively, so I'm kinda alone. What do you think guys, any help is appreciated. I want to improve socially but I feel like a burden to everyone.