Guys who identify as straight but have sexual encounter with males

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by CADiver, Apr 23, 2019.

  1. CADiver

    CADiver Fapstronaut

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    I started back on this forum a couple months ago. I talked with several guys about their story and what brought them to nofap. I noticed that most identify as straight, but have dealt with having sexual encounters with men.
    This isn’t a post about labels. I talked with someone who was not on the forum and has a girlfriend. He says he’s straight, and wants to be in a heterosexual marriage and have a family. He’s in his mid 30s, and has had several ongoing sexual relationships with men, since he was in his early 20s. I know he’s conflicted about it since he has a girlfriend who doesn’t know he has sex with men. I use this example so I don’t directly relate someone’s story from the forum.

    I am making this post because I am surprised it’s so common for guys who are straight to meet up with other guys for sex. To be clear, these aren’t one time occurrences, or “I was drunk and it just happened once 10 years ago”. This is something people actively seek out with some regularity.

    So much of the forum talks about porn, but not about sexual behavior.
    I think this is a big issue for a few reasons:
    Shame and secrecy.
    Habit of seeking sex
    Emotional toll of identifying as straight but having same sex encounters.

    Anyone have thoughts on this?
     
    steppingintothesun likes this.
  2. Zapster21

    Zapster21 Fapstronaut

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    I did this. Found a guy online and I had sex with him.

    Didn't turn me on. But glad I did it. Now I know for sure I'm heterosexual.
     
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  3. SpringWater

    SpringWater Fapstronaut

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    It’s the porn that made them do this..pure conditioning.

    Or these guys are really gay.

    This is what porn does to us.
     
    steppingintothesun, 3nkay and FX-05 like this.
  4. topilabv

    topilabv Fapstronaut

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    well I feel you man I was trapped into a similar problem, but with the shemale porn for many years. It even escalated to some gay porn but I never really found men attractive in real life. I always indentified myself as straight, however my porn usage escalated to watching shemales porn really often and I found them attractive. I even had encounters with shemale escorts - 3 times. However I'm already one year off porn and what I can say that the shemale attraction definitely fades away and you get really more more focused on the females. However, when sometimes I still imagine a hot shemale i would feel sth down there. I think it needs lots of time in order for this thing to totally fade away, you just need to stop feeding it. So stopping any form of porn or masturbation would be a good start.
     
    Blackjedireturns likes this.
  5. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

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    I was into sissy porn and hypno. I am straight but I crave for sex with men and I am aroused by penis. I never had sex with men, but I sexted with a guy (we were appointing a meeting). Sexting with him was very arousing.

    So as a straight guy who almost participated in that and is aroused by the thought of it I will try to give some insight.

    1. Prostate. Straight men can have orgasm from being penetrated. If you like those sensations and you can "forget" that men gives them, it then can work for some. You can also orgasm from giving anal to a guy or from a bj from a guy. So if you are straight you can physically enjoy gay sex. You will not be aroused by partners body, it is I guess in fact more similar to masturbation, but you might have good time. I actually heard stories that some guys who like anal were seeking sex with men, despite they were not aroused by male bodies. I developed habit of anal masturbation and I had nice sensations from there. I am straight, male bodies are nothing for me. I can just recieve it on all fours, do not even look at guy and just enjoy sensations.

    2. Facelessness. Many straight guys whi have sex or fantasize about sex with men experience facelessness. That is they partner is abstract, he has no face, body, they are not aroused by his body, just the sex or penis. I don't think this is what gay men experience when they have sex. They like male bodies.

    3. Sissification porn/hypno. This is pure evil and the reason I am there. This is basically a fetish that rewards you for acting sexually as a "woman" who please men. I absolutely do not believe that it can really change your gender or orientation. While I was sexting this guy, I used female pronounce and even made female name for myself. But it didn't made me like male bodies, it didn't gave me gender dysphoria, so basically no signs or being actually gay or trans.

    4. Prison gay. This is not a joke, but sad truth. At certain level of loneliness people actually are willing to "become" gay or trans to get ang attention and love. I am very lonely right now. I am not lying, some part of me was really satisfied that this guy I was sexting with was aroused by me and wantwd me. Well I also spent far too much time on 4chan and I saw many "I was virgin all my life, will I receive some love if I will become gay/trans threads" and some "I am lonely straight guy, I had gay sex, it was awful"

    5. Domination and hierarchy or the real prison gay. In some sub cultures or cultures penetrating a guy is a cultural sign of power and being penetrated is sign of servitude. This still sometimes happens in prisons and some mad dictators are doing this (Gaddafi was fucking his generals in their asses). If you are to stubborn to kneel, imagine this.

    6. Personal resons. Sometimes it might be caused by some trauma. I read a story of a guy who was abused by his father and developed a fetish/need to show submission to men, so he was having sex with men. He was experiencing facelessness. Other story is about a crossdresser (guy was straight, it was just fetish). He was pushed by his friend to first sexual encounter while crossdressing. He experienced pleasure. He later on had some encounters with men and developed ed. He wanted to date women, but ed was handicapping him.
     
    starsky2 likes this.
  6. Theamos

    Theamos Fapstronaut

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    I had many guys friend while having girl friends
    All of the guys identified as straight also
    I am married and prefers relationship and love with a woman but still have a guy friend not in a relationship thing
     
    Freedom_from_PMO likes this.
  7. InnerFaith

    InnerFaith Fapstronaut

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    slept with many real women mainly watched straight porn,
    but i had expirience with 2 transgender escorts, also used to watch alot of transgender porn..
    technicly it makes me bi..

    im honest with myself, i dont think nofap will "cure" my sexual preferences.. i just hope it will cure my sexual habits and behaviours, and not let it control my life. and that i will never see an escort again, not even a trans one..
    if i will ever sleep with an atractive transgender, she must be a honest living person, not an escort..
     
    acquasalata and Theamos like this.
  8. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

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    I don't think liking transgenders makes you bi. You aren't into men right? I remember seeing some photos of transgeders who were very feminine and passable and it was like looking on an attractive cis woman (until I saw the penis, I really don't like penis on female looking body).
     
  9. InnerFaith

    InnerFaith Fapstronaut

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    well, i looked into gay porn to see if my dick will react strongly to that, but it dosen't.. so i like the female hormonal abundant transgender types.. with the curves and muscle tonus that is more feminien, with the breast and round smooth butt, long smooth hair, someone that from behind look just as a woman, since doggy is my favorite position.
    the dick for me, also im anal addict, so the dick for me is the sign that "she will definitly agree to anal its her only option!", if the ladyboy was with, dick, anus and pussy, i would just rather watch women porn
    sorry if i trigger
     
  10. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

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    So you are top with them and like them for feminine bodies. You are very far from being bisexual.
     
  11. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

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    I once saw photos of a furry transgender (not in full fursuit, jusf fox mask). She has nice breasts and very womanly long legs. I would not tell that she has a penis if someone would show me the photos without telling who is this.

    I don't want to fall for the entire "are traps gay?" question, yes this is technically sex with a guy, but in your brain you are making love to a woman, because what you see is looking like one.
     
  12. InnerFaith

    InnerFaith Fapstronaut

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    haha, perhaps so, cuz when i think of it, the transgender masturbation parts are usualy the parts that are boring and i skip, to see them suck, or recive it..
    maybe the psychological aspect, that its such a taboo and its like a women but with a realy low self esteem cuz she is a social outcast in an intolerant society, she cant bring a baby so she knows already she is second best compared to a woman you want to marry and make children with, yet she will agree to anal, and my status and power is higher than her, so i am the powerful one..
    i know it sound silly, but thats the psychological kick of it..
     
    Freedom_from_PMO likes this.
  13. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

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    Man I almost allowed guy to fuck me in the ass to make his girlfriend pegg me because I both had huge crush on her and I was also sissified and in need of anal penetration and I was hugely gratified by attention I got to my female persona, because I am lacking female attention as a man, so I seeked other sources of attention. Psychology of fetishism might be wierd. I understand you.
     
    InnerFaith likes this.
  14. InnerFaith

    InnerFaith Fapstronaut

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    well, gender is a fluid thing.. the important thing is to do what you do but with dignity.. i think the problematic thing here, is the underlying tone of humiliation.. so you need to ask yourself why bother to humiliate yourself to get a woman?
     
  15. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

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    I do not even get the women, just some scraps of attention. Normally when I desire a woman, sex comes to my mind, you know benis in bagina :DDDD, not some wierd plays with toys when she does not even touch my skin. I struggle with sissification. Sissy is not "natural" identity, nobody is being born a sissy, you are trained to be one by porn, and you even do not know you are manipulated. Lots of lifetime straight guys struggle with crossdressing and gay desires after sissification. This is evil manipulative shit
     
  16. InnerFaith

    InnerFaith Fapstronaut

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    lol, with your sissy fetish you are straighter than me, because pussy usualy bores me as well, i just like to penetrate in the top position and even prefer to penetrate analy, anus is more fasinating to me than pussy been like that since puberty, i dont think there is a cure for that, i only craved pussy on the rare times i fell inlove with a woman
     
    Theamos likes this.
  17. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

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    Pretty much I was only aroused by the perspective of sex with that guy because of sissification. By the way outside of sissy mode I am completely hetero and even in sissy mode I am not arused by male bodies, just by the penis.

    If someone would tell me when I am 100% clear from sissy desires "hey you can bang woman of yout dream (bang, not play a bit with sex toys without the real deal) but you will be fucked in the ass" I would without moment of thought say "fuck no". Am I willing to humiliate myself to get woman. Maybe a bit, I think I am a switch, so I have submissive side. But I am not willing to pretty much basically whore myself to get a woman, not even talking about some shittg play.
     
    InnerFaith likes this.
  18. InnerFaith

    InnerFaith Fapstronaut

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    its intresting, i saw sissy hypno clips and i never felt like i can take this seriously, and wonder how guys here could, always felt immune to it.
    but with trans porn i always got fascinated and sucked into it..

    its intresting how differnt people are
     
  19. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

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    You know it needs few condition to actually hit, I will enumerate that I think are important

    -liking anal. Well straight guy can have very strong sensations and supposedly awesome prostate orgasm from being penetrated. I do not know about orgasm, but I had sensations of similar strength that those from my penis
    -being submissive, sissy is hypersubmissive thing. I am switch, but I have very developed submissive side, most of my fetishes are also "located" there
    -liking crossdressing and feminization. From what I know many guys crossdress to connect without femininity without connecting a women. Sort of "if I do not have a girlfriend I will become my own girlfriend". Few yers ago I did for some time, just because lingerie was arousing me, many teenage boys does that. Recenty I did to feel feminine.
    -lacking as a man, lacking female attention. I was for months alone and deprived from any intimacy. I also felt not manly enough. This can make you think that you have to find alternate way of finding attention and that you really are not suited to be a man, but you might be suited to be someone else? But when I was sexting with that guy, when he was talking how much he wants to have me, how much I arouse him, calling me feminine pronouns, that felt good. I felt wanted and desired and I felt that my female persona allows me to feel this way

    So I would say submitting to a guy in anal sex (some sissies also do oral, I happily do not have thoughts about it) in lingerie, while being treated as a women, called by feminine name wakes powerful feminine feelings inside you. I do not even like male bodies. But my shortcomings as a man and lack of female attention, together with my likeness for anal, crossdressing and lingerie, made me feel that if I can't get femininith from the outside, then maybe I can create it inside. This is how I felt. Have no idea if it is helpful. But sissy hypno is not everything, there must be other conditions.
     
  20. CADiver

    CADiver Fapstronaut

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    These are some very interesting responses, and I have some insight on areas I haven’t thought of.
    As I’ve read through posts on the forums and think of my interactions with other guys as a gay man, there is something to guys who identify as heterosexual but have some inclination to sex that’s not (all) female. I think part of this has been porn and media that has opened guys up to some ideas they wouldn’t have through about 100 years ago. I am sure it’s rooted from a variety of reasons, from childhood trauma to pure interest.
    I posted this because a lot of guys on here, and in life struggle with a heteronormative identity but also seek sex out with men, or have a strong fetish/preference for porn that is outside of cisgender encounters. So many posts show guys struggling to deal with behavior that is at best counter productive and worst a compulsion that is close to blowing their life up.
     
    letgolive likes this.

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