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Guys, I need your advice on this....

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by mark andrews, Jul 12, 2018.

  1. mark andrews

    mark andrews Fapstronaut

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    Hello, there's this girl that really likes me, she believes in me, and wants me to be with her..... But on the other hand, I feel like shit..... my confidence is So low due to PE and ED and perhaps have been relapsing alot and don't feel good about myself. ..... I have struggled so bad with this addiction and feel like I can't get past it...... I also can't tell her.... I do care about her and don't want her to have to deal with my ugly mess..... pliz advise me guys..... I feel like I should just cut her off.... don't want her to deal with my ugly reality
     
    u376 and jedimaster like this.
  2. FancyCoolDude

    FancyCoolDude Fapstronaut

    Try to make up your mind first. Do you feel the same? Do you want to be with her. Porn shouldn't stand in your way, also having a gf will make the process easier because your mind will drift to her rather than back into porn, I'm sure. Not only that but healthy relationships with girls will also help you reboot. Think about that.
    And you don't have to hide your "ugly side", everyone has one, and not everyone always shows them, many would rather hide them. If you trust her well enough, you could tell her and I'm sure she'll be supportive.

    However, if you're not ready for relationship then just tell her, don't make her wait. Just make things clear for yourself and her.
     
  3. Rakan.jr

    Rakan.jr Fapstronaut

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    this gold, read it OP
     
    mark andrews, Roady and jedimaster like this.
  4. jedimaster

    jedimaster Fapstronaut

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    believe me having a true person in your life is a boon for you, dont try to distance apart from her. there is no need to get her aware about your bad addiction (which is not your permanent identity) untill it is very important as you think your self to come out of this addiction, this means to me that you yourself dont consider this addiction as important,that why you thinks to come out of it.

    don't think too low, embrace the change buddy. try to make your self so good which inspire your girl more about you.
    this makes you focus on positive things instead of negative things about you. and as the time passes, you yourself feel distance away from your bad habbit.

    try to invest more time in making yourself better, this makes your parter very good and proud about you.

    all the very best !may the almighty force be with you.
     
    mark andrews likes this.
  5. suntannedsailor

    suntannedsailor Fapstronaut

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    Look, I'll be very direct and hopefully helpful: The one who does not want to deal with your ugly reality is YOU. Do not use her as an excuse to run away from facing your dark side. You can run, but you will never hide. So my suggestion is: be open with her right at the start of the relationship. Tell her what you just told us. If she runs away, you won't have to deal with this dilemma anymore. If she stays, you better stick to her. It is her responsibility to choose if she runs or stays. It is your fucking responsibility to be open. This is your unique chance to change your ugly reality. I am speaking from experience. I have bipolar disorder. It was a huge struggle for the first couple of years but I have been able to stabilize and lead a normal life, wife, two kids, house, etc. But every couple of years, something happens and I have a manic episode and that scares the shit out of people around me. In short, this diagnosis is not something you put proudly on your resume. When I met my current wife, I told her about my condition, including the scary shit, in our second date, risking never seeing her again. She wanted to know more. I gave her a book to read about the condition, brought her to my psychiatrist so she can ask him privately any questions. She decided to stay. Now, I am not saying this is going to be your story and that you will have bunch of kids with this girl. The most important point - for your own life - is that you overcome your own FEAR and go ahead and tell her openly. What happens next is in God's hands but you will already be on the right path whichever way it goes. You have tremendous support here from everyone. Go ahead and do it. You can do it. Good luck, brother!
     
  6. I'd say keep the friendship alive. No point in throwing away a good thing. I find that being friends with women is a close second to actually being with them. And who knows, maybe something will happen in the future. Totally plausible. But I agree with Roady: take care of your own shit first.
     
  7. mark andrews

    mark andrews Fapstronaut

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  8. u376

    u376 Fapstronaut

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    Do hard mode of at least two months
    And it will sure improve
     
    mark andrews likes this.

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