Gross Sexual Activities Need Help.

Hi js345, welcome, I'm also new here, you've done good to reach out here.... I don't know much about fetishes, but obviously me and everyone else here are trying to overcome our own problematic issues. I've only been on NoFap for a week, and it's already helpful. Do a lot of exploring of the site, you'll pick up tips, find inspiration, and you'll also have the opportunity to support others in their struggles and recoveries too.
I can only offer you advice based on my own experience, which is struggling with porn and masturbation. Lately, what is helping me is mindfulness, positive thinking, exercising, getting active on NoFap, being active in Meetup groups, pursuing hobbies, and I also see a therapist too. I don't know if this is true for you, but I find that my addiction is primarily mental, and that therefore I need to change my mindset, finding goodness/pleasure/happiness outside of my addictive behavior, and substituting positive thoughts for any guilt/shame/regret I might have. Good luck to you, you've taken a good first step, don't give up!!

 

First and foremost, divorce this fetish from who you are as a person. You are not that. There is a huge community of people with the very same fetish described by you and It's no coincidence you have to inform yourself all about it first in order to control it. I hope that some member in the same situation will reach out to you to help you out.

 

Make sure you're busy 24/7

 

Change of environment: Staying away from triggers.
Information: Getting informed about the subject.
Meditation: A consistent meditation practice.
Healthy people: Being close to well-balanced people and avoiding the toxic ones.
Hobbies: Doing things that make you feel alive and keep you busy. If you spend your energy there will be much less room for urges.
Talking or Writing: Finding ways to unload the junk and worries in your mind. (I personally adopted writing, but you have to be honest and consistent in order to make it work)
Patience: Healing takes time. You will go from severely addicted to highly addicted, and never severely to healed.

There are people who say that as long as a fetish doesn't hurt anyone It's fine I personally don't buy into that because the person who has the fetish has to pay a huge emotional price for that. It's worth fighting against it.

 

I am not sure why there is a sexual angle to this. Is that because you observed this type of thing on porn websites and got curious and then hooked. I ask because although I see what you mean about when you were you were a boy, there was no activity or correlation to anything sexual.

 

You gotta quit porn altogether because it distorts your perception of what sex should be like just the fact of you being unable to hold your erections to a more appropriate occasion due to abstinence is a sign that your mind is fucked up. The common recommendation here in the community is abstaining from Porn and masturbation for 90 days to see what happens, and it includes all sort of sexual enticing content. You may want to start off by quitting only porn for 90 days and keeping the ordinary beating up and later you quit both for 90 days.

 

There are deep psychological/biological reasons people develop certain fetishes. Understanding first that many normal people can develop a variety of fetishes under the right conditions can be helpful because if normal people can avoid this one... that means you can too.

If you watch porn relating to this fetish... that would be the first thing you need to do to stop. The other person replying was absolutely correct in that porn fucks up your sexual desires. Your brain has been sensitized to the sensations around this fetish. Throw away all your diapers and stop buying more. Control your thoughts around it. No fantasizing.

Treat this the same as you would any addiction. With time away from it, you’ll find you want to do it less. It does get easier over time. You’ll want to quit both porn and your fetish at the same time because they feed into each other. Have a plan in place when you are tempted. Have a list of things you can do that connect you to the world or to people. For example, go for a walk. Call a close family member. Do some yoga. Whatever you do, don’t just sit there because then it becomes a struggle of will and you will almost always lose.

Also, start dating. It gets you out of the house, connects you with other people, and gives you motivation to be better.

 

I am 29 .. watching porn since I was 12 .
Never new I was addicted .. never heard of nofap.. just going on..
I tried to stop this and believe me you can hold it for a week.. but when weekend comes .. it's all back and you'll think it's ok to stop for 5 days and I'll watch now and get satisfaction and then from tomorrow onwards I'll try to abstain for two weeks..
Well tomorrow is Sunday .. you'll watch and fap it again thinking you'll start from Monday..
In next week you'll do on thursday by accident and then you'll think ooooppss .. ok.now it's done so I'll again start from Monday and the you'll watch and satisfy yourself on Friday Saturday and Sunday.

Now on Monday you'll think ohh I'll start from 1st of next month it's only 4 days away and swearing this time..

And it's all going to repeat and I'm next month you'll block some websites .. then stop watching youtube for some time and this sort of things you'll do whole year.

Trust me.
I found that two year ago that there is something not proper while having sex with my gf..

And after that two years i kept giving excuses that I'll stop from today from Monday from next month and many more.

Now it's been 20 days and I have stopped it all. Nothing at all.. and now I don't imagine sex at my office.. I don't imagine sex in bus... I don't imagine sex while commuting..

The secret is..
I started reading a novel. It doesn't give me time to think anything else. I come from office at 5 and get into that novel and I read it till 8 .. have dinner and again back to it.. call my friends on phone for time pass... Then back to novel.. sleep at 1am and wake up at 7 am .. back to novel.. I don't watch TV.. I don't watch movies on laptop.. infact I haven't opened laptop in days.. I read on Kindle so there is no option of just googling stuff and distraction by anything..

I chose a novel..
The mistborn triology..
It has 3 books in series.. and then three more books in series .. and then 2 books as prequel..
Total 8 books..
I have reached on 3rd in 20 days..
By the time I complete 8.. 90 days will be passed..

Also the book.is great..

My suggestion: reading is excellent habit. Select some book with long series and get yourself involved into... Also this book has no porn or sex stuff so you'll not reach down your trouser while reading it.

It helped me a lot and I already see changes in my routine..
I need less sleep.
I am attentive at office .. I feel a new energy in myself..

Try it out.

I might not have explained in some attractive fashion and with good vocabulary.. but trust me it has helped me ..
And surely will help.you.


Plus don't read other people's problem Bec that might excite you..
Don't visit this website again and again and ready other people's problems..
Like .. I am not reading your problem Bec that might excite me to do something..
Just come to your post read suggestion.. post new if needed and log out..

 

I agree almost entirely with you. You've done a great job, but you seem to be a mature person who has plenty of things to be busy with and not everyone here is well-grounded or busy as you are. Some need to log on the internet daily for work and there's no escape from temptation, therefore, checking noFap helps them to keep themselves motivated to go forward. You have to be aware of your weaknesses, but not fear them at least to some extent. I think that coming back here daily has helped me greatly to avoid relapsing, for instance. To me, It's been positive reading personal accounts and integrating into the community.

 

You got to get busy with stuff..
If you don't .. your mind will be occupied with the same things..
What happens to me with a book is.. it runs out slowly keeping the excitement of about what to go next.. not like in a video or movie where you can forward and still understand it.

With a book .. it needs full attention..
That was the suggestion

You just start with a book.. it's excitement will ask you to close laptop and get back to it.. it will ask you to close smartphone and get back to it.
That's the only reason I started reading it on Kindle and not on laptop.

 

Awareness of the problem and a willingness to change can take you all the way to the finish line.
You may be in for a hard, long and painful recovery process but it must be done, you can't afford to lose this fight.

I hope one day you will be able to look back on this with a clear mind and laugh at the absurdity of the situation.

 

This is a really good idea. Lots of guys don't read much, but actually there are lots of novels out there that they could get seriously gripped by and that you can't keepaway from, and are as manly as you like (spies, scifi, crime, war, whatever). It's a great idea to always have one in reach.

 

I started with a random novel. Bec of two reasons. One is nofap. Another is I heard that reading is a good habit. So just like that I started and I took this book bec is a triology so it'll take more time to finish means more time away from porn and stuff.

Deciding things is easy but following it religiously is difficult.
I just immersed myself into it. And today it's 30days with no porn and no masturbate.. this series has 5 more books.. so it'll keep me occupied for long..